Reasons we all have readily to be expolited

- Never Stop Dreaming -

As the temperature starts to decline steadily and slowly, the days becomes shorter, the leaves start to dazzle with rich colors and I become more crazy. Indeed the short span of autumn colors are only here for a while like the sakura(s) in spring, I have to kick into high gear and try to catch as much of it as possible before they are all gone.

Been burying myself in photography and events just to stay away from unfortunate incidents which I found to be rather complex in nature. Since the weather is becoming colder as winter lurks around the corner, I guess I have to move a bit more to keep meself warm. Been hanging out healthily with a bunch of old school photographers/friends who have cheap, unfanciful monster film SLRs like Asahi Pentax 67, Pentax LX, Contax ???, etc. These old gems can be easily bought off the numerous second hand shops all around for a mere couple of hundreds, a small affordable fraction of the price of today's newest digital SLRs.

Film used to be a taboo for me which I believed was expensive and difficult to fool around with. But as I progressed thru the path of photography, many influences and inspirations started to poison me and in the end, I found out that film though might be a little more expensive than digital, it's a lot more fun. Besides, the colors, contrast and the grains are not yet possible with digital manipulation even with the Wizardry of Photoshop Gurus. Certain film, camera and gear are almost in non-existence in SG but here, they can be easily obtained which clearly fuel the very niche group of film users. You would be surprised that there are actually quite a decent number of film users in Japan.

I started out with my first roll of Neopan 1600 3 weeks back to test out the camera that I had bought. Boy was I excited like a little kid when I tore open the box, took out the cylindical canister, opened it and popped the roll of film into the camera and hear the mechanical winding sound. With no LCDs to display the fanciful histograms or picture playbacks, it was now pure instincts to test out the possibilities with an old but not obsolete piece of precision engineering (God I simply love that phrase!).

One of my friend who has like 4 to 5 cameras that are almost equivalent to the price of my single 5Dmk2 dabbles a lot in film. I was seeking his tutorage since he had a good head start in film before me. Then I found out about the dangerous Natura 1600 which produces some of the most beautiful faded colors when used at the right lighting and conditions. I was tempted once again because what I had till now was just digital manipulation at it's best and presented before me was an array of prints that were beyond description.

So with all that, I forsee a hefty budget into the near future with the purchase of a film scanner, darkroom materials, printer, etc. But at the moment, I have a couple of things to get with my limited budget which puts me in a delimma. I have set my eyes on the Sigma HSM EX DG 50mm F1.4 for a while but at the same time I have also decided to get meself an affordable Samurai Kimono Set since the authentic ones are almost SGD$3.6k. The scenarios are in such a way that if I get the lens, I can play with it and also use it at the upcoming wedding which I had volunteered to be the main photographer to mark my debut. Sad to say it's for free...(Am I stupid?), which if I get the Kimono, it would be the only chance I could get close to possessing a piece of history at a affordable price. The lens will still be there but not really sure about the kimono. I might need to try the lens to confirm the various focusing issues littering the net but I would also have to try the kimono to see the fit. Decision and more decision...but I am leaning more on the lens.

Initially I was pretty happy when a good friend told me she was coming to Tokyo and I would get to meet her fulfilling our long promise made ages back. I took leave specially for that day with plans to get the lens along with the darkroom materials but, it somehow ended in a disappointment instead, the second one so far. Well, I guessed I could fault anyone since everyone has their own priorities in life and I am no where near the top. You see she was coming with her bf and of course I would not fit anywhere in the picture or the schedule. The other disappointment was pretty much the same with me being casted in the shadows. A couple of good Japanese friends was nudgling me to accompany them to SG in Dec/Jan 2010 crossover some months back and I was almost ready to drop a surprise visit in SG for...nvm but I guessed that reason is no longer valid since people move on with their lives. Maybe I might just... but only to see my good friends, do some photos for them, for my family and for my grandma and to meet the sole reamining reason in person.

And when decisions have been made, any attempts to justify, redeem or explain only yields more reasons to confirm the decision made so why bother.

Expensive shopping list for months ahead but I really hope I can find the much needed warmth in Winter without making a trip back to SG. Maybe a short trip to Taiwan to visit my BROTHER would be ideal...