- Never Stop Dreaming -
This year, I will possibly have the best winter and Christmas which would be only in my wildest dreams until that very day when I decided to walk on thin ice sheet. I am a modern day adventurer, an explorer and risks are just some appetizers that add flavor to my daily meals. If I hadn't set out this journey decades back, if I didn't have the courage to gamble everything I had, if I didn't take the leap of faith, I really wouldn't be here today. And so on this day, I will give myself a little pat on my shoulder and say to myself in the mirror, "Well done lad, you've indeed come a long brave journey littered with uncertainties. But this is only the beginning to a whole new chapter so go forth and seek your destiny..."
Like I had said a million times before, I have found very capable people along the way but many succumbed to sloth, one of the 7 deadly sins which left me conquering this journey alone till the very end. In the very end, my perseverence paid off and now I will enjoy my first warm fruits of my hard labour for my 4th winter. No more cold piercing me, no more restless nights and no more dead silence...I have found warmth, feeling the tenderness in the days ahead. The missing pieces are found and I am standing on a solid infrastructure looking up and looking good, like I had always been. Dreaming was only the first simple step while realizing my dream was another easy second step...holding on and not yielding, embracing the elements, healing wounds and living a life of lies till the very end requires immerse patience, mental strength and lots of energy. I didn't give up against all odds and now I will be rewarded.
Christmas, hopefully a white white one like the one I had always dreamt about seems within my grasp this year and receiving those lovely "Love Bentos" was actually more heart warming in reality than in the TV dramas or dreams. A good way to conclude this wonderful year with so much more to look forward to.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Recognition
- Never Stop Dreaming -
Haven't been on skype for ages...haven't been in contact with my family as well. I used to come home eager to go on skype almost every night for a very specific reason which had ceased quite a while ago when a huge shift, paramount to a platonic plate shift occured. Instead, I strengthened myself in every way possible to prepare for the end to come because my unique instinct had never failed me. True and never far from reality, the end did came as I had expected but still I felt nostalgic each time I closed my eyes and envision the past.
Yes I have been really really busy because October happen to be the most hectic month. Late and unexpected changes had brought me thru quite an emotional turmoil, rollercoaster ride both work and off work. But in the bleak of all these unfortunate nightmares, I found my light of hope and I am seriously living the good life now.
On my off days, I travel to some of the most exotic part of Japan because I, for once, wait...or rather twice, have been accepted into the local society. This not only pave way for much more beautiful journeys ahead, it simply seals the promise which I had made since the time of the origin. I had dedicated all these time, energy and effort with only one sole purpose and now I am not very far from it...I can feel it running thru my veins, being absorbed into my soul.
Now for the main CHEESE!
Japan is known to be the fashion capital of Asia and though there are many interesting fashionistas around, sadly being here long enuff, I came to realize that I only appreaciated a small percentage of the entire fashion scene. The rest are just simply, SHIT. Then comes the rural part of Japan where fashion are like kids's uniforms. Lots of color variation but still the same stale style that every Japanese guy would try to pull off. Nothing productive, nothing creative but just dust being shoved around. Somehow the female fashion scene seems to attract me so much more because the various combination are simply infinite. And along all these prologue, a very special someone who have been recognised by all around me to be a one very top ranked fashionista seems to take a liking into my fashion sense. Now I am not marketing myself in anyway but hey, a top ranked figure gave me recognition...that's not something that would come by everyday. All these coming from a Japanese who had me flouting my wings of pride against all other Japanese.
I had always believed that we wear clothes and not the other way around and though I am not really a huge fan of suits, I have to wear it time and again to fit the situation or against my will. But you see a suit is very much like a exterior armor and every one who wears a suit somehow in one way or another will look decent. When you see them in the usual non-suit fashion, this is where the difference will be clearly set. My skater, semi-formal and military-fetish style had become an inspiration to this particular someone. And so I am not only proud but deeply honored to introduced genuine mil-spec, cheap (or uber expensive) military stuffs to give those usual branded stuffs a run for their money. Well, my other motive is the gratification of a military chic fashion...
Given the current strength of the soaring Japanese Yen, I can only see myself doing more online shopping thru ebay, google, etc for stuffs that will last 10 years or more (MIL SPEC stuffs).
In a seperate post, I will introduce possibly with vid of the 85501.
And to seal it all, it was snowing this morning...winter is, well, almost here...so enjoy your wet, dirty heat while I freeze myself in this white wonderland!
Haven't been on skype for ages...haven't been in contact with my family as well. I used to come home eager to go on skype almost every night for a very specific reason which had ceased quite a while ago when a huge shift, paramount to a platonic plate shift occured. Instead, I strengthened myself in every way possible to prepare for the end to come because my unique instinct had never failed me. True and never far from reality, the end did came as I had expected but still I felt nostalgic each time I closed my eyes and envision the past.
Yes I have been really really busy because October happen to be the most hectic month. Late and unexpected changes had brought me thru quite an emotional turmoil, rollercoaster ride both work and off work. But in the bleak of all these unfortunate nightmares, I found my light of hope and I am seriously living the good life now.
On my off days, I travel to some of the most exotic part of Japan because I, for once, wait...or rather twice, have been accepted into the local society. This not only pave way for much more beautiful journeys ahead, it simply seals the promise which I had made since the time of the origin. I had dedicated all these time, energy and effort with only one sole purpose and now I am not very far from it...I can feel it running thru my veins, being absorbed into my soul.
Now for the main CHEESE!
Japan is known to be the fashion capital of Asia and though there are many interesting fashionistas around, sadly being here long enuff, I came to realize that I only appreaciated a small percentage of the entire fashion scene. The rest are just simply, SHIT. Then comes the rural part of Japan where fashion are like kids's uniforms. Lots of color variation but still the same stale style that every Japanese guy would try to pull off. Nothing productive, nothing creative but just dust being shoved around. Somehow the female fashion scene seems to attract me so much more because the various combination are simply infinite. And along all these prologue, a very special someone who have been recognised by all around me to be a one very top ranked fashionista seems to take a liking into my fashion sense. Now I am not marketing myself in anyway but hey, a top ranked figure gave me recognition...that's not something that would come by everyday. All these coming from a Japanese who had me flouting my wings of pride against all other Japanese.
I had always believed that we wear clothes and not the other way around and though I am not really a huge fan of suits, I have to wear it time and again to fit the situation or against my will. But you see a suit is very much like a exterior armor and every one who wears a suit somehow in one way or another will look decent. When you see them in the usual non-suit fashion, this is where the difference will be clearly set. My skater, semi-formal and military-fetish style had become an inspiration to this particular someone. And so I am not only proud but deeply honored to introduced genuine mil-spec, cheap (or uber expensive) military stuffs to give those usual branded stuffs a run for their money. Well, my other motive is the gratification of a military chic fashion...
Given the current strength of the soaring Japanese Yen, I can only see myself doing more online shopping thru ebay, google, etc for stuffs that will last 10 years or more (MIL SPEC stuffs).
In a seperate post, I will introduce possibly with vid of the 85501.
And to seal it all, it was snowing this morning...winter is, well, almost here...so enjoy your wet, dirty heat while I freeze myself in this white wonderland!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Slow controlled breathing in decreasing temperatures
- Never Stop Dreaming -
Though the soft rays of the morning sun greet me every morning thru the fluffy clouds or thick morning fog, I am still very reluctant to let any of the summer heat stage a come back. Instead I choose to pray hard that this constant cooling temperature will stay for a will and decline steadily in time to come for the winter. And late last night I tried to regulate my breathing by inhaling deep controlled breaths thru my nose and exhaling them slowly thru my mouth which I found to be a really good exercise to ease the mind and soul, inducing a deep state of sub consciousness that will eventually lead to a good night of rest.
The reason why I was subjecting myself to this therapeutic experience was simple, I am getting really really worn out by making conclusions from viewing blissful pictures which offer nothing but complete silence that leaves my imagination running wild. Then there is the possibility of me getting blame for jumping to conclusions where there weren't even any clues, hints or information given to me. In the midst of all the confusion, I really find it hard to comprehend how I am liable when all I got was cold silent photos only to have my conclusions judged. I may be a perfectionist with dreams and lots of vibrant energy but then there are times when I have say, "This is it!" like Michael. Saying A and doing B makes absolutely no sense to me but combining everything with utter silence just pretty much sums up this annoying guessing game where my answers will always turn out to be wrong. Pfft, all that smiling, fun seems all so genuine but only an idiot would believe that it was all just a staged show. If there are answers to be told, I will listen but I seek no more answers because I could never ever see unless told what to see. Silence and ignorance will lead to many different endings so unless you wished for a specific ending, SPEAK UP! but oh well, I believe what I see and not what I hear so really, don't try so hard.
Now that I have decided to close this past colorful chapter despite leaving all the missing clues unsolved, I can safely say that the new chapter will have so much more to look forward to than tiring myself out crashing into a dead lead one after another. Harsh it may seem but necessary is deem. I just cannot see myself going on trying to believe what I think are just a whole bunch of lies beautifully if not artistically crafted into the pictures. Of course I am not jumping mad and lashing out destructive mayhem but my conclusion is that I am more than happy to see, more than glad to believe and more than everything to respect, to cherish and to congratulate, for it will be something that I could never have done, someone who I could never have been and a dream that could never come true. Quite possibly one of the most beautiful and unique journey that I could never forget because of the rich characters, giggles, warmth and distance ever shared.
Really, thks for all the memories, tears, joy, sarcasm, and so much so much more that made me the very character I am today.
Though the soft rays of the morning sun greet me every morning thru the fluffy clouds or thick morning fog, I am still very reluctant to let any of the summer heat stage a come back. Instead I choose to pray hard that this constant cooling temperature will stay for a will and decline steadily in time to come for the winter. And late last night I tried to regulate my breathing by inhaling deep controlled breaths thru my nose and exhaling them slowly thru my mouth which I found to be a really good exercise to ease the mind and soul, inducing a deep state of sub consciousness that will eventually lead to a good night of rest.
The reason why I was subjecting myself to this therapeutic experience was simple, I am getting really really worn out by making conclusions from viewing blissful pictures which offer nothing but complete silence that leaves my imagination running wild. Then there is the possibility of me getting blame for jumping to conclusions where there weren't even any clues, hints or information given to me. In the midst of all the confusion, I really find it hard to comprehend how I am liable when all I got was cold silent photos only to have my conclusions judged. I may be a perfectionist with dreams and lots of vibrant energy but then there are times when I have say, "This is it!" like Michael. Saying A and doing B makes absolutely no sense to me but combining everything with utter silence just pretty much sums up this annoying guessing game where my answers will always turn out to be wrong. Pfft, all that smiling, fun seems all so genuine but only an idiot would believe that it was all just a staged show. If there are answers to be told, I will listen but I seek no more answers because I could never ever see unless told what to see. Silence and ignorance will lead to many different endings so unless you wished for a specific ending, SPEAK UP! but oh well, I believe what I see and not what I hear so really, don't try so hard.
Now that I have decided to close this past colorful chapter despite leaving all the missing clues unsolved, I can safely say that the new chapter will have so much more to look forward to than tiring myself out crashing into a dead lead one after another. Harsh it may seem but necessary is deem. I just cannot see myself going on trying to believe what I think are just a whole bunch of lies beautifully if not artistically crafted into the pictures. Of course I am not jumping mad and lashing out destructive mayhem but my conclusion is that I am more than happy to see, more than glad to believe and more than everything to respect, to cherish and to congratulate, for it will be something that I could never have done, someone who I could never have been and a dream that could never come true. Quite possibly one of the most beautiful and unique journey that I could never forget because of the rich characters, giggles, warmth and distance ever shared.
Really, thks for all the memories, tears, joy, sarcasm, and so much so much more that made me the very character I am today.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Binary Day is the 1st day of a new chapter
- Never Stop Dreaming -
Kicked started the day with an amazing all foggy morning cruising in sub temperate temperatures hovering below 20 degrees. Had every reason to go thru this long but maybe eventful day. Here in Japan, this auspicious date so happened to clash with the "大安(Tai An)", which was very auspicious to the Japanese as well. And so I had already anticipated a hard day at work with hopes of meeting nice couples.
Being randomly assigned according to the schedule by not so nice bastards, I, along with many other underpaid, unfortunate staffs had no idea what kind of client we would get till the actual day minutes before the magic happens. Fate and lots of luck was of paramount importance here to turn an otherwise shitty day to a magical carpet ride!
I had 4 shoots which I nailed 2 because the couples were over the top, as for the other 2, it was the usual no-brainer-just-do-according-to-what-you-have-been-trained-for routine. Of the 2 good ones, one was a Dragon Quest Theme and the other was just damn bloody enjoyable because the couples enjoyed my foreign ancestry.
Work aside, this day also marks a new chapter that was sealed in a promise made days back and I had every nano bits to begin this journey. The cold winters will be a part of history from this day on...
And here is one I sneaked off work :)
Kicked started the day with an amazing all foggy morning cruising in sub temperate temperatures hovering below 20 degrees. Had every reason to go thru this long but maybe eventful day. Here in Japan, this auspicious date so happened to clash with the "大安(Tai An)", which was very auspicious to the Japanese as well. And so I had already anticipated a hard day at work with hopes of meeting nice couples.
Being randomly assigned according to the schedule by not so nice bastards, I, along with many other underpaid, unfortunate staffs had no idea what kind of client we would get till the actual day minutes before the magic happens. Fate and lots of luck was of paramount importance here to turn an otherwise shitty day to a magical carpet ride!
I had 4 shoots which I nailed 2 because the couples were over the top, as for the other 2, it was the usual no-brainer-just-do-according-to-what-you-have-been-trained-for routine. Of the 2 good ones, one was a Dragon Quest Theme and the other was just damn bloody enjoyable because the couples enjoyed my foreign ancestry.
Work aside, this day also marks a new chapter that was sealed in a promise made days back and I had every nano bits to begin this journey. The cold winters will be a part of history from this day on...
And here is one I sneaked off work :)
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Dedicated to my colleague Tae
- Never Stop Dreaming -
Here is a short vid I made for my colleague Tae with stills from Fuji Neopan Acros 400 and some other digital processed ones. Congrats...
I am currently offering freelance Pre Wedding Photoshoots in Japan as well :)
Here is a short vid I made for my colleague Tae with stills from Fuji Neopan Acros 400 and some other digital processed ones. Congrats...
I am currently offering freelance Pre Wedding Photoshoots in Japan as well :)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Of low resistence
- Never Stop Dreaming -
Submitted to fatigue and fell ill a couple of days back when I shivered in cold thru the night and went to work the next day. Pale like a walking day corpse, I was urged to take half a day off when I puked out the morning's semi-digested fluids before hitting the Doc's room. Navigated safely home using my Jedi Powers, loaded up with Doc's prescriptions and slept for an uninterupted 24 odd hours before waking up. With my head spinning hard like a record, I went into a psychedelic state of trance and went back to sleep before arriving at yesterday's morning.
Went to work and did "light duties" aka SAF style and pulled thru the day alive...and in the night, rekindled with her. Had a simple dinner because she too was barely alive after moving from Tokyo to Hokkaido and then back here. With ample rest and my immunity level recharged to a stable 70%, I should be ready for the hectic weeks to come with much more to look forward to.
Submitted to fatigue and fell ill a couple of days back when I shivered in cold thru the night and went to work the next day. Pale like a walking day corpse, I was urged to take half a day off when I puked out the morning's semi-digested fluids before hitting the Doc's room. Navigated safely home using my Jedi Powers, loaded up with Doc's prescriptions and slept for an uninterupted 24 odd hours before waking up. With my head spinning hard like a record, I went into a psychedelic state of trance and went back to sleep before arriving at yesterday's morning.
Went to work and did "light duties" aka SAF style and pulled thru the day alive...and in the night, rekindled with her. Had a simple dinner because she too was barely alive after moving from Tokyo to Hokkaido and then back here. With ample rest and my immunity level recharged to a stable 70%, I should be ready for the hectic weeks to come with much more to look forward to.
The dawn of a new era
- Never Stop Dreaming -
Being away for sometime, I found that I do owe my blog some sort of apology for neglecting the timely update of new and relevant information. However if I may add, my 24 hours a day are not very well spaced out or utilized and in the end, I simply cave in to my infinite non-exhaustive list of reasons for not doing so. Work may have been really busy but I am simply in for the money only so not much to update as well unless the daily routine boring shits that I dished out tickles your interests. My passion, the raging creative juice when I first got started, somehow had died along the way when I am forced to conform to their sub standard levels knowing very well that my talent will never be recognised.
Work aside, I spent most of my free time sleeping, watching ridiculous episodes of South Park, the occasional catch up(s) on MSN with some of my best friends or just crashing wedding parties. All in all on most off days, I am just too wear out with fatigue to do anything else that requires me to move away from my bed. Amidst all these super facial routines, something huge and definitely much more serious than skin deep is brewing, hot from the oven! Indeed even I myself am very reluctant to spill anything about it which explains why no one heard anything...let's just say that I am giving myself a shot to end those cold, lonely winter nights and all is looking good at the moment.
Sipping on a hot cuppa of freshly brewed coffee on a chilly autumn morning, I recalled how it all started...with that infamous scene of her staring at the rain while I stole glimpses of her thru the reflection on the window glass.
That is it for now while I leave your hungry hearts for the devil to fester and grow.
10.4 had confirmation of the hunter being hunted.
Being away for sometime, I found that I do owe my blog some sort of apology for neglecting the timely update of new and relevant information. However if I may add, my 24 hours a day are not very well spaced out or utilized and in the end, I simply cave in to my infinite non-exhaustive list of reasons for not doing so. Work may have been really busy but I am simply in for the money only so not much to update as well unless the daily routine boring shits that I dished out tickles your interests. My passion, the raging creative juice when I first got started, somehow had died along the way when I am forced to conform to their sub standard levels knowing very well that my talent will never be recognised.
Work aside, I spent most of my free time sleeping, watching ridiculous episodes of South Park, the occasional catch up(s) on MSN with some of my best friends or just crashing wedding parties. All in all on most off days, I am just too wear out with fatigue to do anything else that requires me to move away from my bed. Amidst all these super facial routines, something huge and definitely much more serious than skin deep is brewing, hot from the oven! Indeed even I myself am very reluctant to spill anything about it which explains why no one heard anything...let's just say that I am giving myself a shot to end those cold, lonely winter nights and all is looking good at the moment.
Sipping on a hot cuppa of freshly brewed coffee on a chilly autumn morning, I recalled how it all started...with that infamous scene of her staring at the rain while I stole glimpses of her thru the reflection on the window glass.
That is it for now while I leave your hungry hearts for the devil to fester and grow.
10.4 had confirmation of the hunter being hunted.
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