Missing in Action

- Never Stop Dreaming -

For almost 2 whole months, maybe 3...there weren't any updates. I didn't felt the need to, didn't have much too but guilt caught up with me and so here it is.

Since switching to the new job since April, I had been thrown into a cruel mix of skeptical and disgusting but yet subtle and enduring emotional turmoil. The constant discovery of unhealthy industry standards, flaws and corner-cuttings had left me gasping for air while on this filthy trail. In a mere 4 months, I had became a hedious actor adept in the art of deception thru fabrication of certain truths. So many times had I battled against my own conscience but in the end, the devil always triumph.

Besides degrading my potential skill level and underperforming, I am required to put on my best act without overshining the main veteran star. Man that's quite a feat which seems almost impossible to achieve.

Over the years, from a psychological humanely perspection, I have come to respect the special relationship amongst strangers and friends sadly, only to have them robbed in these short months. Despite all these, I am still not ready to let go because I have a bigger cause to worry about and all these will become trivial issues when the main picture is complete.

Luckily for me, I have other alternatives to channel my vested interests all thanks to my angelic choice back then to not screw around with prospective sources. Glad that it worked out as each day, more opportunities are being shoved thru my front door. Though I might just be going thru a mid life crisis, the only thing that will or rather had changed is my attitude towards certain specific stimulus. My passion, my dream and my determination remains unmoved because greater achievements awaits me in this strange journey towards the great unknown.

In just less than a week I will be making the annual pilgrimage back home to feel the nostalgic charm of my birth place. Though there are certain people which I will not be able to meet, there will be new people waiting to meet me instead. Each year when I make my trip back, the anxiety seems to be somewhat different. This year, I am quite glad to be able to head home though only for a short 1 week instead of the usual 3 weeks. Because of the fact that it will be a very very short 1 week, it makes everything even more worthwhile besides the fact that I want to escape this hectic hell hole for a while.

A wedding to grace, friends to meet, new family members to greet, local mind fuel and lots of new places to see plus the irritating exit permit renewal.

For the 1st time, I am actually looking to fly home.

Then when I am back here, winter is all that I look forward to.