The Recipe for April

- Never Stop Dreaming -

A string of events hit April of 2010 with my parents coming over, and then my friends. It was a much anticipated event which had started the hype since late last year although my parents coming over was more of a late decision early this year. While it has definitely been a great start to the new year with a new job, new place, etc. I guess too much of goodness might just bring in sudden misfortunes as the cycle of fate rotates.

Damn I was right on although caught without preparation which left me learning each lesson as it was being served. By now everyone would have probably know how I swear by Made in Japan products but a speeding ticket was NOT anywhere even close to my daily consciousness. FUCK!

Here in Japan, I mean rural Japan, speeding traps (ネズミ捕りnezumi tori) aka Mousetraps are done in a dangerous and mindless fashion. A speed radar is strategically camouflaged by the road side connected via a long wire to a distant blue police bus parked by a slip road some distance ahead. Usually these traps are found on long stretch of back roads without much bends. After the radar records the speed breach, some distance ahead along the same direction some old, one-foot-in-the-grave policeman would spring out onto the road with a red flag to guide you into the slip road where the bus would be parked. This is where you punched the air and scream "FUCKED!" Somehow the distance between where the radar is placed and the spot where the "OJISAN" policeman would jump out is probably calculated "theoretically" for the speeding car to brake safely without hitting the soon-to-be-dead "OJISAN".

You see the "OJISAN" would jump out as soon as the radar detects the breach so you HAVE TO BRAKE hard even if it means emergency braking, that is if you are really flying down more than 100km/h on that stretch of 40km/h road. Then again if you fail to break in time, be prepared for a nice red clumpy smear, dents and a shattered windscreen which will guarantee you a spot in the local jail, tons of fines and a lot more shit! The speed trap is manned by one daredevil Ojisan to stop the speeding cars, some oven-fresh police cadet to record you details and to prove to you how fast you are going inside the bus where you agree to everything they say and seal the long slip of speeding ticket with your fingerprint and there will be another police officer to fiddle with the radar equipment.

I scraped 35km/h in excess of the limit of 40km/h which carried 6 demerit points and a fine between ¥60,000 to ¥100,000.

After a couple of weeks a post card will come from the prefecture police department to tell you that you HAVE to go to the prefectural driving centre to attend a traffic lecture to rob you a further ¥13,000 ++ . Depending on how much in excess you went over the speed limit, your driver's license will either be suspended for a short term period of 30 days or mid term period of 60 days or a long term period of 90 days. The date is FIXED but it's is possible to change the date where you attend a silly basic driving lecture given by some un-professional OJISAN (AGAIN!) who will tell you everything you (already know) need to know to pass the test at the end of the lecture. It's a 1 day lecture that starts from 0845 in the morning to 1630 in the afternoon. When you arrive in the morning, you will go thru the reception where some policeman will tell you that "beginning today, your license will be suspended for XX number of days so please proceed upstairs for the traffic lecture." and he will hand you a very nicely designed form to document your suspension and confiscate your license. So it's advisable NOT to drive on THAT very day...(reason later in the post!)

Here you pay a hefty ¥13,000 ++ and attend the crappy lecture in Japanese (if you don't understand, then too bad) where you PAY ATTENTION each time the lecturer says, "これは大事な所です! (This is where it's important!) because that's the answer to the questions". You will be given a "how to drive safely" or some other crappy book in Japanese where you can take notes because he will usually repeats several times on important parts. If your Japanese language ability is not good enuff, you will find yourself struggling but you can always ask for an ENGLISH book and test which I did. There will be other staffs to aid you in understanding in Japanese if you are in doubt.

After that you go for lunch.

After lunch, play some simulator to test you reaction time against erratic changes and a driving simulator to test how safe you are as a driver. Then back to the lecture room with no preparation time, the test begins. If you have been listening to the lecture, you can clear the 40 questions with ease. I did the English version which was generally understandable English consisting of common sense questions so if you couldn't clear it, then you would be better off playing GT4 at home. The duration of the test was like 15 or 20 minutes, I couldn't really remember but whatever.

The test consist of 38 true of false questions which carry 1 point each and 2 questions at the end which is sub divided to a further 3 true of false questions. The last 2 questions each describes a scenario where you have to answer 3 true of false questions per scenario. You have to get all 3 answers correct to score 2 point for each scenario, so 38 points plus 2 points plus 2 points equates 42 points which is the full score. If you get between 36 to 42, your 30 day suspension will be reduced to a 1 day suspension which is effective on the day you attend the stupid lecture and take the test, that is why I mentioned earlier NOT to drive there. Scoring 30 to 35 will reduce your 30 day suspension to 5 days and scoring 25 to 34 will reduce your 30 day suspension to 10 days.

Before getting your test scores you will receive the result of your simulation test which mine said, "I had lightning fast reaction time (0.44 seconds) to sudden changes in both pedal control and steering wheel turning!" scoring a 4 out 5 in the overall result. Though I screwed up some initial tests since the ambiguous instructions given by the UNPROFESSIONAL Ojisans varied with the instructions on the screen...damn those idiots, otherwise I would have aced the crappy simulation game given my perfectionist nature. Then again if you are an avid gamer, these simulation will seem like kindergarden amusement.

There...a stupid ¥13,000 ++ to feed those nothing-better-to-do unprofessional lecturers, waste my day at traffic school, play some silly simulation games to re-discover my Jedi reflexes and then a yet unknown lump sum donation, a 1st in 3 years to the rural traffic department, hopefully to fund someone's funeral all on a fine gloomy rainy day.