Thin ice sheets...

- Never Stop Dreaming -

As winter approaches, I embraced the chilly winds kissing my face in the mornings for a third year straight hoping to wake up with some warmth beside but still no magic so far. Perhaps the place might be the problem, perhaps it's just me creating the problem or is it a calling, an omen, a sign for me to seek greener pastures? At this point, I really want to rule out the option of giving up all that I had built so far, pack my stuffs and live a life like most back home. I am reluctant really but too bad some people will never be able to see the same dream as me. Sometimes I really wonder why can't most people around me see that a dream, an inspiration or to lead a different life is what I really want? If I can't dream and pursue it, what's the main purpose of existence itself? To be given life and to fit into a norm created by someone else, try to fit in, and lead an otherwise ordinary life? That's not what I want and I do fear it...for various reasons.

All that aside, the white magic of winter is still holding back since the last 1 time dusting of the fluffy white stuff. I have waited and I am now so close and yet so far from it. Hopefully it will come soon. Met a couple of new faces but as usual I wasn't very enthusiastic since I know that replies were always ridiculously late or none at all. But on the other hand, I wasn't really interested, no, I would say totally NOT interested whatsoever at all for an age gap of 5 above me. I want but still I have my own expectations to meet and age is one of the very crucial criteria which had not changed since I came to understand complex human relationships.

A while ago, I was gullible despite my age to fall into a nicely set snare and this time I fell into the same one simply because I was kind enuff to get cosy with aquaintences. A moment of wisdom struck me on the last minute and I managed to walk outta of it without losing a huge pile of cash. Luckily for me, I had other options to seek and of course some were much more approachable and friendly than the rest. Not only did I manage to strike a superb deal but to the extend that I would lose ZERO amount of cash in the end instead of a headache and money doing a Houdini stunt. Than I came to realise that I really appreciate those who can offer options and solutions free of greed and personal interest to solve many sudden issues. The rest are simply out to get my money thru explicit means or to promote a loud mouth bigger than their brains.

I see this as a rough patch since not many things are going as smoothly as before and the cold only makes logical analysis impossible. However if, I say again, that is IF everything goes well, I might just be able to walk out of this mess with a good start to an amazing career and probably drive one of my dream cars which would otherwise be impossible in Singapore. However, still not much luck with the right one yet since I am outright irritating and commands a rather high expectation. The only concern is that if I am not careful during this crucial period, the thin sheet of ice that I am planting my foot on might just send me sinking into a deep, bottomless abyss of the cold and yes I am very afraid.