Unfetted Dreams

Anti gravity...

2011-09-04T19:48:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

So I am obsessed with 3A toys and most updates are on them...? Quite true but this one is on me...

Having given chances and chances to myself telling myself to go on, I have finally reached the end. The end because I chose the end myself for there was no more reason to carry on.

With knowledge, determination and lotsa guts, I knew that limitations on my work VISA here in Japan will be over soon. And then I will finally fulfill my own prophecy and complete my own oracle. I chose my dream, I walked my own path and so I will be the one writing my own adventure.

I was here slogging my sorry ass off and not only were my efforts not recognized, I had to take orders from idiots and live in constant fear because the environment was like North Korea, deserters will be shot. The one supposedly to be the appointed superior was always watching the troops in secret and sending top secret mails to all the other officials detailing the flaws of each troop in his unit. There was zero moral and absolutely no motivation to fight or carry on. The pay wasnt all that fantastic as well so in the end, I chose to give up in such a lousy environment as well. I shall take my chances out there because at least my efforts will be recognized someday. At the end of the day, I was even told that whether I would be able to continue my contract would be dependent on how idiots evaluate me.

As soon as the news of my leaving reached his sorry ears, only then did he realized my potential and impact. Instead I was offered to pursue for another year but really no thanks, I get to keep my arrogant pride this time than to work with a bunch of idiots.
Sometimes in life, second chances just doesnt count so I am outta here. Imagine amateur doctors killing patients if surgery is fucked up, economists screwing up the country's financial status if they fucked up, ministers fucking up government cabinets...so by my own conscience, for the low pay, for the shitty amount of work and for the redundant amount of effort I put in, I get nothing in the end.

As soon as I got my wings of freedom, going to work each day is no longer a hassle. I was literally "UNTOUCHABLE", walking with anti gravity energy! He just gives me that really disgusting smile and I just pretend that I noticed. But in the meantime before I expire...I am determined to milk as much as I can, willingly sacrificing my energy, youth and time so that I can tide the risk next year which I will have a hell lot of opportunities coming.

Oh...the my oracle will be complete in a series of binaries less the ZEROs.

Ciao for now...

The Sacred JDF Armstrong

2011-09-04T19:07:00.015+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

A while ago, I was whining and throwing my fiery tantrums while struggling to carry out my daily duties at work. All because I wasnt able to get something I wanted, something SHE wanted. A brutal 1 minute online sale for a 1/12 scale robot and after that, just emotions rising and many like myself plagued with not the best internet connection or the fastest fingers cursing and swearing.

Yeah...the one and only toy company in the world that loves seeing hardcore fans cry and fight over emotional sale, 3A.

I could clearly understand the company's perspective since every single of these robots sold would also sent every single cent received to aid the Japanese Earthquake recovery. The more they sell, the more losses they will incur which clearly explains the 1 minute emo sale.

I admit I was late into the "plastic-snorting-cartel" missing out on the membership this year but still I did manage to snag a bunch of stuffs officially from that sacred online store. Excluding those that I had obtained thru black market channels, my 1st official product was due to arrive sometime in August so really the toys wouldnt have come any earlier.

But then...

a couple of mysterious "Failed delivery" notes were left in my snail mail box while I was at work. She, had gotten hold of them and I was told that they were..."from overseas". Ok I am skeptical and I really dont like mysterious parcels from mysterious people. And the last thing I want is to have a new face, new set of hands or an early reincarnation. Though the parcel or parcels might have eluded security checks and were already in the Japanese delivery channel...I wasnt leaving anything to chances because I knew for sure that I hadnt ordered anything recently.

My frown disappeared in an instance once I got hold of the actual delivery note.

The emo sale that I had missed out earlier...turns out that 3A sent every single Japanese customer who had ordered prior to the earthquake, this particular emo robot for absolutely zero yen, dollar, pound, yes totally FREE!

Dont ask me how, why or what the hell that I got 3 of these for free. 1 for me and my brother in Singapore and the last one, well...taken!

"Yep 3 FREAKING Armstrongs!"

So really I take this very opportunity to convey my deepest gratitude and thanks to 3A, the greatest toy company in the world and I am proud to let them rob my yen time and again because no other toy company will listen to the customers and make what they want, let them decide the color, story, etc. and sell prototypes, pictures, ideas, art, concept or nothing before the actual product is made.

And to answer to this great calling, the Japanese faction, the Japanese JDF Legion gathered around 20 odd members who received this sacred treasure for a night of men, grown men, toys, little food, little drinks and more amazing toys and party all in the name of charity. In return, the mighty but small JDF legion customized some gifts and sent them back to the 3A headquarters in Hong Kong.

Of course I was proud to be the only foreigner to travel from my mountain hide out crash the party in the heart of Tokyo with my customized 1/12 scale World War Robot (WWR) JDF Armstrong, The Scared One. The idea was mine but she made the headband and wrote the words. Enjoy...

3rd Anniversary Bambaboss - the last of the 1/6th

2011-06-23T17:59:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Going on sale on the 25th of June at 0900 HK time at BAMBALANDSTORE is the last of the 1/6 Bambaboss in full black glory, decorated with 3 circles paying respect to the parent 3zero company? Dont quote me but I presume it's there to celebrate the 3rd year anniversary instead. Be there or be square this one is not to be missed...not only myself, but the female feline loving one calls it Mr Bubbles, think Bambaboss is cute and wants a piece of the plastic action as well. Dont say I didnt warn you but sitting this one out for watever reason will only lead to regret in the future since there will not be anymore 1/6 Bambaboss for all I know.

This is the Boss I am talking about and be sure to get him if you can. A semi emo battle was mentioned so be early and be weary.

90 days of consolidation

2011-06-23T16:58:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Been away for 3 months...for both valid and invalid reasons. Hands were tied, and all minutes that I could possibly squeeze were spent sleeping. Yes, I was indeed tired and no the earthquake, the tsunami and the radiation didnt get any of me and I am still in my prime of health.

I had been really busy with work, slogging every sweat and energy for extra overtime pay. Well, reasons I have to feed my hobbies and also for a whole string of events all lined up both this year and next. On the topic of work, I had pretty much given in to the style and possibly hanging on for only 2 primary reasons, the pay and the clients. I know that quality cant be changed and so all my efforts and energy are channeled to collecting smiles from the various clients allocated to me since it will be my name that will be on their albums. Making impressions like I had always had seems to work marvelously and flawlessly. To sum it up, there are only 3, including myself, professionals among the amateurs. My time will come in the Dec of 2011 where I shall once again claim my freedom but in the meantime, I need the funds to prepare for a new battle, a new beginning.

In fact, I am looking forward everyday to this new journey where I can carve my own path for fame and glory. I will need all the support I can gather in the future...yes you reading this, your support as well. As I strive further here, I began to impress more and this very well gave a good support for my cause.

As I marched forward enthusiastically into the unknown future, I know that I am ready to face all odds that life will throw at me, otherwise I wouldnt be here and would be in sorry SG like most others. On the contrary as I chase new dreams after realizing old ones, a couple of fallen comrades from old times move away from the future to live back into the past. I am here for you brother like old times, we met at the battlefield scarred from emotional wounds, we went thru tobacco, alcohol and the speed demon, I was on 4 and you were on 2...we moved on and found our own dreams. Now that I am living the good life, you seemed to have lost what you hold dearest. Once again time has become an enemy and we are forced to slave for society hoping for a better future or to make an eternal promise to a soulmate. There is not much I can do for you but to hope and pray that you will once again find your path and regain your lost honor.

And besides a fallen pal, I found new ones that I salute with utmost respect because I long to be like them, living away from SG and living the lives that many can only dream of. Soon I too will realize that dream permanently sealing my own fate in a distance land but at the same time collect a path of tears, memories and perhaps even hatred. I can only say that I am sorry that time makes a fool of a man and I shall never live for anyone else but myself because life's greatest creation is my very own life written in a book.

For a long time, almost 5 years, I caught my second ever movie here in the land of the rising sun. Compared to SG, it was indeed expensive but being located in the rural suburbs, less than 10 were the audience on a weekday catching the 3D screening of Jack Sparrow's On Strangers' Tides. Good silence, no crowd, no irritating cellphones and no kicking of chairs, the screening was in pure 3D sensation, something impossible in SG.
It will be a monthly thing from now on I presumed since this new place was just too good to miss out on.

On to updates on my well-being...
Meals are no longer off the shelves of convenience stores or super markets day in and day out. I pay a monthly Y20,000 to get good cooked food from breakfast to dinner on good days and none on bad days. In between, I might get 2 outta 3 meals a day if I am lucky. Work laundry are free and provided by the company but my own personal laundry are also being covered at not cost, not by the company of course. Upgraded my cellphone to a white Iphone 4 which I had been waiting all these while, shame on you apple. A couple of tweaks and I am connecting my Macbook to internet where-ever there is signal on my iphone. Info are all over the net so dont ask me since I was, am and never will be a fan of waking up in the middle of the night with security people knocking on my door. Will be acquiring a high end printer preparing for next year's move. Doing some online toy sale to provide some spare change monthly.
Looking forward to many things down the months ahead.

The earthquake had subsided considerably and rarely wrecks any mental damage recently. Radiation news are stable and both food and water are not in any potential killing zone.

Still all good here but at times have slight urge to head back to SG for a good getaway. Weather is fairly good and cool turning to warm and hot and soon, very soon, all cold and white. Numbers are good to watch out this year as triples which I had missed out 2 years in a row will make the final appearance as I end my status, beginning a new journey.

Screwed up the old car busting a gearbox, mid muffler section beyond repair only to have a better one for dirt cheap to keep me floating for another year. My beloved S15 will have to wait a little while more but I am salivating and lusting over the M3. Might have to expand a few more youthful years before anything can really turn to reality.

That's about it...nothing much but only this much to keep you occupied.

Help Japan and snag a cool figure

2011-03-26T12:46:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

3A ahh...what more can I say, an uber cool toy company founded by world reknown artist Ashley Wood and Toy King Kim are gonna churn out an exclusive Armstrong figure to aid the cause of helping Japan. Yeah we all love Japan so now it's your turn to do your part.

Instead of donating just money, why not snag an figure and let 3A do the donation for you. A splendid Win Win for all.

Figure will go on sale on 29th Mar at BAMBALANDSTORE so make sure you grab at least one of these exclusive figs by 3A.

for more info and updates please visit the OFFICIAL 3A PRODUCTION BLOG.

Glowing green man?

2011-03-26T12:20:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

No God didn't pick Japan as noted by Dick Head Shahril Beck my ass Ham from Singapore. An official in the Singapore Armed Forces...my god are we breeding more idiots in the future?

Ok ok...nothing to worry at the moment, I am not glowing green and all is still good here in my mountain stronghold. Tokyo's water supply is tainted with radiation which are unsafe for ages below one but still alrite for adults. 3 bottles of 1.5L water are being distributed to those with kids below one. Vegetables from a couple of Tohoku regions are being banned due to high level of radiation but that's about it.

Oh so the earthquake you say...yeah this earthquake is one long overdue shit that had gained all the steam and then finally BOOM! 28 metres tsunami that leveled all the coastal towns in Miyagi, Iwate, Fukushima and some parts of Chiba. When God claim lives by the thousands, no one is to be blame but with the crisis going on in Libya, gasoline prices had sky rocketed and everyone here is restricted to either a 20L cap or a ¥2,000 cap. I am on a small car so a 20L cap is fine but can't say the same for the rest.

As panic of a nuclear meltdown sent most foreigners fleeing, sadly I am here to stay. Despite friends, parents, familiar faces worrying and urging me to come home, I must say now is not my time to leave yet. Yeah as they say by the time the worst come, I will not be able to leave but still I am staying.

Here are my reasons...

Good times, I shit and I played here along with so many others...
Bad times, I flee and watch as everything else disappears...
Can't do...just can't do it.

There are people here I know as well, faces who had walked thru thick and thin with me and Japan has been kind to me all these while. I really can't walk out in dire times like this. While knowing that everyone else outside here is safe, I will continue to my tour here and aid when necessary. This is me saying my gratitude to the land, the people and everything else here that I hold dearly.

I am not stupid as well and I know when to fly my ass out when the time comes but as for now...not yet.

And with everyone leaving, it might be a good time to scout new opportunities, help out and tide it thru with everyone else. Nagano is still good and so really, thank you all but no thks...I am still staying. Almost 2 weeks into the tragedy and I am still alive here...fingers crossed that the radiation will not turn Japan into Resident Evil land...heehee joking.

This devastation had brought me new meanings and I really hope you can understand them as well.

The spirits have wavered...and so do I

2011-03-10T13:08:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

These days I really couldn't say the same shit that I used to preach every single day of my life. Back then I was determined to give, forgive, open up my path and accept everything but as I began realize that my ultimate dream is about to be fulfilled, I say F#$% everything else.

People...yeah, those that I wouldn't hesitate to waste given a chance are obstructing my pursuit of perfection. I strive as much as I could, fought it all out to give the clients nothing but the best experience on the big day. Sadly, there is this one particular F@#$tard that is becoming a problem. Too bad the useless Boss is as intellectually challenged as this F#$%tard.

When concerning equipment that we depend our dear lives on, there was a discussion on whether we look professional or not. Man, that's clearly amateurs...like the F$%^ I would care how others looked at me when I am in the midst of an important photoshoot.

Anyway yeah I am pretty messed up over such F#$%tards at work but if events go as planned, I shall regain my freedom at the end of this year.

Once again I have proven myself that I can't work with brainless F#$%tards, including the useless Boss.

Useless and redundant

2011-02-23T20:49:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Back when I was a kid, I had always dreaded attending lame ice-breaker games or the get-to-know the new school mates shit. The worst was possibly when I started poly when I had to break away from pals that I had gone thru shits together and try to fit or adjust myself to total strangers. The orientation or whatever the hell it was, was just full of redundant, useless rubbish that I had wasted my precious youth to start everything all over again. To me it was like dying and then re-birth and redo every single shit again and I seriously hate it.

Fast forward that a million hours later, at 30 years of age, I was once again put thru this irritating situation when most if not everyone else were idiots. A lot of precious time to waste, a lot of effort to do absolutely nothing productive. But still I went thru it like a rebellious kid once again doing all those stupid and retarded stuffs.

30 good and bad years of existence had not only confirmed but slapped right across my face that I am not good working with people or rather idiots. I do not deny that when it comes down to doing things that I have a passion in, I am a perfectionist in such a way that I only trust my own skill, my judgment and my own expertise because everyone else is not capable of producing what I want. Unless I am inspired by genuine works of art and rare talents, everyone else is pretty much not up to my insane standards. Not that I am in any way trying to be rude or to degrade anyone else but this is just me admitting my disease, a disease for perfection.

So if all goes well, I may have something good coming up late this year towards next and every year there after to serve, to honor and to commit.

Ashley Wood and the Grunts

2011-02-18T21:05:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

A while ago, I had an entry regarding 3A (previously Threezero), a HK toy company that had partnered with world renown artist, Ashley to form the 3A corp. The toy line distributed by 3A are something that I had always dream of, Gas masks, katanas, weathered robots, etc.

Despite my earlier miss on the exclusive de Plume figures, this time round I was lucky to pick up a 4 pack Grunt which of course is already SOLD OUT by the time you are reading this. Grunts...low rank newly recruits that are sent out in the hordes to the battle field to be fed to Death.

3A items are exclusive to their very own webstore Bambaland and most items will never see the light of retail shelves. Items are released on a periodical basis updated with info on their site. Usually sale last from minutes for limited production items to a day for some items. Given the strong Yen, they are considered relatively affordable for me. All 3A items are tediously handmade so the sale is usually a pre-order which the final item, usually better then the prototype pictures will ship at a later date.

Looking forward to my 1st designer 3A figure and more to come. I decided to pick up a 4 pack Grunt set since not only was it cheaper, it will include a WWR poster from Ashley himself.

Goodbye my friend...in the loving memory of Novem

2011-02-16T21:56:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

In this 30 years of short lived existence, God, or whoever is in charge had taken 4 of my beloved friends, and they were all below 30. When the 1st one went, she was only 19...then 2 other left in their twenties. Now the 4th, at 29 years of age, left suddenly like the previous 3...leaving far too many questions open to imagination. Of the 4, 2 were taken due to traffic accident but the other 2 were whisked away like the wind.

This entire post is dedicated to the memory of my friend, Novem who left us on the 31st of Jan in the year 2011 at 29 years of age.

I met her thru my friend Cindy years back when we were, or rather, I was still an advocate of the Japanese Langauge following. The impression that she gave anyone who was new to here was a sweet, fun-loving party girl. Then slowly as I got to know her better, I was quite surprised how well she had concealed her dominant character beneath. She had a strong character leaning towards the masculine side capable of attempting any challenges put across to her, coupled with her sweet demeanor, she was a figure worth much respect.

As I found about more about her, we seemed to realize that both she and I shared a lot of interesting past adventures alike. Life on the fast lane, booze, brawls, gasoline, tarmac...and it was the very beginning of our very unique friendship. From there we crashed all sorts of parties and danced out youth away into the brink of the morning light.

The most memorable event that I could never ever forget was the one at Zouk. It started out when I was invited by my friends to crash a birthday party at Zouk and there I was happily studying the strangers in the VIP lounge with my horde of friends where Novem showed up with her group of friends apparently crashing a birthday party as well. Surprises and coincidences come hand in hand in situations like this and there we were checking out each others' private group of friends. Once the merry making kicks in, booze were coerced by everyone to everyone else in an attempt to keep the party spirit alive. Novem was back to back against me with each of our groups of friends in opposites sides. Sneakily she would hand alcohol offered to her to me where I would coerced them to my friends and then do the exact same to alcohol offered to me to Novem. That way not only did we not flipped and puke our guts out like the rest, the music warmed our souls as we danced and partied till the morning light.

Somewhere along the night of the party, Novem got pissed at some drunk ass and even offered to throw him off the second floor balcony. It was a huge commotion but I was certain she would had done it given the nature of the situation and her character. As usual I did my stint and saw her sweet smile once again before heading for supper. We grew our friendship deeper after that incident and I realized that she was becoming more of my idol than a friend.

Not long after, I left for Japan to accomplish my dreams that I had carved since the beginning of a long journey and it was then Novem and I slowly drifted apart as the lands and oceans separated us. Not we were not a couple and no we weren't dating but we were just really amazing friends with great respect for each other. She was definitely one very unique character that I will never forget because for once, to find a fine lady of such caliber who not only shared the same amazing past as me but to earn such deep respect from me.

Initially my intentions were to fly home on 29th of Jan to attend a wedding on the 30th but just days before I flew, this sad news came so sudden that Novem was in ICU and her condition was very critical. Though I do not know what exactly the cause was and never will, I wasn't prepared in any way to handle the situation. All I could do was to visit her for the very last time, while she was still breathing thru a machine in a small glass cubicle. Her brother had swollen eyes from all the crying and so were her friends.

She looked really frail but still I tapped the button, the glass door opened and I walked in. There I held her warm hands and said, "My friend, I know you can hear me sub-consciously and I am here to tell you that I have flown a long way from Japan to see you. I am not sure if you would ever wake up from this eternal slumber but I still hope that you will. " Silence endured for a long time while I stared at my friend for the very last time, trying to remember every detail about her.

Went home to get changed and then attended the wedding with the most pretentious smile since in the back of my head, I was still worrying about her since every passing second would be her last. After the wedding, I went to have a chat with my friends till the early hours of the morning of the 31st. Came home to check Novem's FB page and the update was, "She has departed and thank you all who have came to see her..."

This was where my brain froze and all the memories of the good times came flashing in my head. Not sure if God or religion or heaven really exist but someday if we meet again Novem, I would be dead envious since you will still be all young and pretty while I would be a frail old man.

It is here I say my final goodbye to you my dearest friend and till we meet again. Thank you so much for being a very special part of my life...have a safe journey and watch over us sometime when you are free.

End

A new year...

2011-01-25T17:19:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

So where do I begin...most of my pictures are hosted on the evil and poisonous Facebook instead of here. Missed all the Christmas, New Year updates, etc. Not that I was really like 24 hour busy but since late towards the 4th quarter of last year, I had began to lead a different kind of life. One that kept me occupied more than my job, my passion and everything else when I decided to say goodbye to 4 harsh years of cold solitary winter.

In 2010, I found a new job which I thought was the beginning of my break but very soon I found out how bad it actually was. Gain everything and took everything I could and gave nothing back because I had a bigger dream to fulfill than waste my talent here. Despite all blessings, visions and dreams...I was tied down by working VISA constraints to attempt my leap of faith. Now I am holding on for at least 1 more year while building up a healthy bank account incase I should fall. Late towards the 4th quarter, I moved on to home-cooked meals since they were cheaper and that was simply the beginning of an addiction. I had also secured a couple of deals and a decent model to work with.

Acquired 1 more additional film camera + lens for my personal collection totaling my entire collection to somewhat 5 cameras I think. Along the way I hope to pick up a couple of Leica(s), a Hassey and a Rollei but first, a decent printer.

Still snowboarding this season though not as much as I would like to since I need to save as much as I can for my huge rebellion. Making a trip back home for Chinese New Year, crash a wedding and to meet up with the familiar faces.

Really and seriously, I hate my job since most of the time I find myself working with idiots including the Boss of course. No doubt I do not deny that this company is amazing but the unit that I am in...would be my ultimate downfall. Professionals are capped from their full potential and the company is cutting corners to reduce cost.

Still very much alive despite being 30...so much for now

The day I witnessed a real Zombie attack!

2010-11-27T16:11:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

I attended my first grand Japanese company R&R to close the 2010 fiscal year on 25th Nov. It was indeed an eye opener with over 500 guests from various units gathering for the feast. Since I was a noobie, I really didn't know what to expect but I was indeed looking forward to it.

The time and place had been pre-decided but all staffs had to start the day early in the morning, attending the Company's annual meeting where P&L, visions, goals, sales, etc. were laid out to plan the next stage of actions for 2011. To many others, mostly like 70% of the meeting were irrelevant but for me, though irrelevant, I was there collecting vital info as in free feed.

But it was really not the meeting that mattered...fast forward...and we are back to the Grand R&R.

Most came clad in their finest, or self-presumed finest, pieces of garment to either flatter themselves, deceive others or God knows what ever for. One came in a cheaply made trashy Darth Vadar costume only to reveal a less than normal looking huge tub of walking gluttony. Once again I found myself indulging in the observation of the various fashion parade since there was nothing else better to do than wait for the buffet on both side of the hall to start. Then a very nice colleague drop me an extremely vital piece of advice...

When the signal for the feast flashed, I witnessed the most awesome albeit gruesome army of zombies rushing for the food. Like a scene outta the latest Jovovich Resident Evil Movie, the prettiest, smartest, ugliest, youngest, oldest, fattest, slimest, etc zombies raced across the massive football sized hall for the tiny pieces of pathetic low quality fare in hordes and more hordes and more hordes. I wished I had brought my camera but then again there was the risk of losing it in the hordes of sewer filth. Never in my life had I been able to witness how scary and disgusting zombies were when they all came so well dressed initially. It was indeed a sick sight that I would never be able to forget for the rest of my living existence. I have come to respect the fact that I will never be able to look at the same people that showed the power of gluttony straight in my face.

Then in a blinking of an eye, everything was once again calm but the sad remaining humans were left with nothing but empty trays of gravy. It was these people that showed me hope since the remaining survivors were gracious to share whatever was remaining though meager and among them, the CEO of the company.

I respect the man in every way I can both in a good way and in a bad way. Good because he had established a global brand where his elders had left behind, which was nothing more than a local store initially. Bad because he had failed to recognize how rotten the inner core was. Talents were hired and then robbed of their skills and then fired...much like Electronic Arts way of swallowing up various developers and then exterminating them and then releasing shitty crap.

As for me...we shall see...

Meanwhile, while I get over all these nightmares, I am once again back to gaming on my lovely white PSP while waiting for the new snowboarding season to start.

The Awakening of The Sleeping Monster

2010-11-26T13:36:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

In my many short lived years of existence, not that I had many long ones, seldom have I seen a grown man, a family man, a father, a mentor and a skilled professional sank so low in spirits. So here is my version of the story...

He used to be a mechanic tuning, testing and repairing the famed Mazda RX-7 and that was years years years back. Somehow with no professional training, he found himself carving a very different niche as a wedding photographer. From the full manual film days, to digital film cameras to the modern day Digital SLR...he has indeed came a long way. He dedicated a full 10 years of his youth, often neglecting his family who happens to live quite some distance away, to pave way for a new level of wedding photography for the current company. He set the limits and raised the bars, brought the company to a whole new level. 10 years of blood and sweat and the numerous times he ate into his own character and compromised on his well being all for the company.

Then one fine day, not too long ago, the newly appointed Boss with not much experience, all words and no action decided to replace this fine professional because he was too good. Though the actual reasons were vague, it seems that this 10 years of effort for the company vanished in just that split second the Boss made the final decision.

Now he walks into the company each day lifeless and empty like a fresh zombie outta Left 4 Dead...

That is what everyone wants or rather, deceptively conceived to believe because something huge is brewing underground. Something so huge it will probably change history in the future...

And I am more than glad to be able to pen this awesome story... ;)

Paths are walked by people but those who made it will always be remembered.

Embrace the cold winter with warmth

2010-10-28T18:51:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

This year, I will possibly have the best winter and Christmas which would be only in my wildest dreams until that very day when I decided to walk on thin ice sheet. I am a modern day adventurer, an explorer and risks are just some appetizers that add flavor to my daily meals. If I hadn't set out this journey decades back, if I didn't have the courage to gamble everything I had, if I didn't take the leap of faith, I really wouldn't be here today. And so on this day, I will give myself a little pat on my shoulder and say to myself in the mirror, "Well done lad, you've indeed come a long brave journey littered with uncertainties. But this is only the beginning to a whole new chapter so go forth and seek your destiny..."

Like I had said a million times before, I have found very capable people along the way but many succumbed to sloth, one of the 7 deadly sins which left me conquering this journey alone till the very end. In the very end, my perseverence paid off and now I will enjoy my first warm fruits of my hard labour for my 4th winter. No more cold piercing me, no more restless nights and no more dead silence...I have found warmth, feeling the tenderness in the days ahead. The missing pieces are found and I am standing on a solid infrastructure looking up and looking good, like I had always been. Dreaming was only the first simple step while realizing my dream was another easy second step...holding on and not yielding, embracing the elements, healing wounds and living a life of lies till the very end requires immerse patience, mental strength and lots of energy. I didn't give up against all odds and now I will be rewarded.

Christmas, hopefully a white white one like the one I had always dreamt about seems within my grasp this year and receiving those lovely "Love Bentos" was actually more heart warming in reality than in the TV dramas or dreams. A good way to conclude this wonderful year with so much more to look forward to.

Recognition

2010-10-27T09:56:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Haven't been on skype for ages...haven't been in contact with my family as well. I used to come home eager to go on skype almost every night for a very specific reason which had ceased quite a while ago when a huge shift, paramount to a platonic plate shift occured. Instead, I strengthened myself in every way possible to prepare for the end to come because my unique instinct had never failed me. True and never far from reality, the end did came as I had expected but still I felt nostalgic each time I closed my eyes and envision the past.

Yes I have been really really busy because October happen to be the most hectic month. Late and unexpected changes had brought me thru quite an emotional turmoil, rollercoaster ride both work and off work. But in the bleak of all these unfortunate nightmares, I found my light of hope and I am seriously living the good life now.

On my off days, I travel to some of the most exotic part of Japan because I, for once, wait...or rather twice, have been accepted into the local society. This not only pave way for much more beautiful journeys ahead, it simply seals the promise which I had made since the time of the origin. I had dedicated all these time, energy and effort with only one sole purpose and now I am not very far from it...I can feel it running thru my veins, being absorbed into my soul.

Now for the main CHEESE!

Japan is known to be the fashion capital of Asia and though there are many interesting fashionistas around, sadly being here long enuff, I came to realize that I only appreaciated a small percentage of the entire fashion scene. The rest are just simply, SHIT. Then comes the rural part of Japan where fashion are like kids's uniforms. Lots of color variation but still the same stale style that every Japanese guy would try to pull off. Nothing productive, nothing creative but just dust being shoved around. Somehow the female fashion scene seems to attract me so much more because the various combination are simply infinite. And along all these prologue, a very special someone who have been recognised by all around me to be a one very top ranked fashionista seems to take a liking into my fashion sense. Now I am not marketing myself in anyway but hey, a top ranked figure gave me recognition...that's not something that would come by everyday. All these coming from a Japanese who had me flouting my wings of pride against all other Japanese.

I had always believed that we wear clothes and not the other way around and though I am not really a huge fan of suits, I have to wear it time and again to fit the situation or against my will. But you see a suit is very much like a exterior armor and every one who wears a suit somehow in one way or another will look decent. When you see them in the usual non-suit fashion, this is where the difference will be clearly set. My skater, semi-formal and military-fetish style had become an inspiration to this particular someone. And so I am not only proud but deeply honored to introduced genuine mil-spec, cheap (or uber expensive) military stuffs to give those usual branded stuffs a run for their money. Well, my other motive is the gratification of a military chic fashion...

Given the current strength of the soaring Japanese Yen, I can only see myself doing more online shopping thru ebay, google, etc for stuffs that will last 10 years or more (MIL SPEC stuffs).

In a seperate post, I will introduce possibly with vid of the 85501.

And to seal it all, it was snowing this morning...winter is, well, almost here...so enjoy your wet, dirty heat while I freeze myself in this white wonderland!

Slow controlled breathing in decreasing temperatures

2010-10-12T11:15:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Though the soft rays of the morning sun greet me every morning thru the fluffy clouds or thick morning fog, I am still very reluctant to let any of the summer heat stage a come back. Instead I choose to pray hard that this constant cooling temperature will stay for a will and decline steadily in time to come for the winter. And late last night I tried to regulate my breathing by inhaling deep controlled breaths thru my nose and exhaling them slowly thru my mouth which I found to be a really good exercise to ease the mind and soul, inducing a deep state of sub consciousness that will eventually lead to a good night of rest.

The reason why I was subjecting myself to this therapeutic experience was simple, I am getting really really worn out by making conclusions from viewing blissful pictures which offer nothing but complete silence that leaves my imagination running wild. Then there is the possibility of me getting blame for jumping to conclusions where there weren't even any clues, hints or information given to me. In the midst of all the confusion, I really find it hard to comprehend how I am liable when all I got was cold silent photos only to have my conclusions judged. I may be a perfectionist with dreams and lots of vibrant energy but then there are times when I have say, "This is it!" like Michael. Saying A and doing B makes absolutely no sense to me but combining everything with utter silence just pretty much sums up this annoying guessing game where my answers will always turn out to be wrong. Pfft, all that smiling, fun seems all so genuine but only an idiot would believe that it was all just a staged show. If there are answers to be told, I will listen but I seek no more answers because I could never ever see unless told what to see. Silence and ignorance will lead to many different endings so unless you wished for a specific ending, SPEAK UP! but oh well, I believe what I see and not what I hear so really, don't try so hard.

Now that I have decided to close this past colorful chapter despite leaving all the missing clues unsolved, I can safely say that the new chapter will have so much more to look forward to than tiring myself out crashing into a dead lead one after another. Harsh it may seem but necessary is deem. I just cannot see myself going on trying to believe what I think are just a whole bunch of lies beautifully if not artistically crafted into the pictures. Of course I am not jumping mad and lashing out destructive mayhem but my conclusion is that I am more than happy to see, more than glad to believe and more than everything to respect, to cherish and to congratulate, for it will be something that I could never have done, someone who I could never have been and a dream that could never come true. Quite possibly one of the most beautiful and unique journey that I could never forget because of the rich characters, giggles, warmth and distance ever shared.

Really, thks for all the memories, tears, joy, sarcasm, and so much so much more that made me the very character I am today.

The Binary Day is the 1st day of a new chapter

2010-10-11T10:52:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Kicked started the day with an amazing all foggy morning cruising in sub temperate temperatures hovering below 20 degrees. Had every reason to go thru this long but maybe eventful day. Here in Japan, this auspicious date so happened to clash with the "大安(Tai An)", which was very auspicious to the Japanese as well. And so I had already anticipated a hard day at work with hopes of meeting nice couples.

Being randomly assigned according to the schedule by not so nice bastards, I, along with many other underpaid, unfortunate staffs had no idea what kind of client we would get till the actual day minutes before the magic happens. Fate and lots of luck was of paramount importance here to turn an otherwise shitty day to a magical carpet ride!

I had 4 shoots which I nailed 2 because the couples were over the top, as for the other 2, it was the usual no-brainer-just-do-according-to-what-you-have-been-trained-for routine. Of the 2 good ones, one was a Dragon Quest Theme and the other was just damn bloody enjoyable because the couples enjoyed my foreign ancestry.

Work aside, this day also marks a new chapter that was sealed in a promise made days back and I had every nano bits to begin this journey. The cold winters will be a part of history from this day on...

And here is one I sneaked off work :)

Dedicated to my colleague Tae

2010-10-09T11:03:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Here is a short vid I made for my colleague Tae with stills from Fuji Neopan Acros 400 and some other digital processed ones. Congrats...

I am currently offering freelance Pre Wedding Photoshoots in Japan as well :)

Of low resistence

2010-10-08T10:34:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Submitted to fatigue and fell ill a couple of days back when I shivered in cold thru the night and went to work the next day. Pale like a walking day corpse, I was urged to take half a day off when I puked out the morning's semi-digested fluids before hitting the Doc's room. Navigated safely home using my Jedi Powers, loaded up with Doc's prescriptions and slept for an uninterupted 24 odd hours before waking up. With my head spinning hard like a record, I went into a psychedelic state of trance and went back to sleep before arriving at yesterday's morning.

Went to work and did "light duties" aka SAF style and pulled thru the day alive...and in the night, rekindled with her. Had a simple dinner because she too was barely alive after moving from Tokyo to Hokkaido and then back here. With ample rest and my immunity level recharged to a stable 70%, I should be ready for the hectic weeks to come with much more to look forward to.

The dawn of a new era

2010-10-08T10:07:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Being away for sometime, I found that I do owe my blog some sort of apology for neglecting the timely update of new and relevant information. However if I may add, my 24 hours a day are not very well spaced out or utilized and in the end, I simply cave in to my infinite non-exhaustive list of reasons for not doing so. Work may have been really busy but I am simply in for the money only so not much to update as well unless the daily routine boring shits that I dished out tickles your interests. My passion, the raging creative juice when I first got started, somehow had died along the way when I am forced to conform to their sub standard levels knowing very well that my talent will never be recognised.

Work aside, I spent most of my free time sleeping, watching ridiculous episodes of South Park, the occasional catch up(s) on MSN with some of my best friends or just crashing wedding parties. All in all on most off days, I am just too wear out with fatigue to do anything else that requires me to move away from my bed. Amidst all these super facial routines, something huge and definitely much more serious than skin deep is brewing, hot from the oven! Indeed even I myself am very reluctant to spill anything about it which explains why no one heard anything...let's just say that I am giving myself a shot to end those cold, lonely winter nights and all is looking good at the moment.

Sipping on a hot cuppa of freshly brewed coffee on a chilly autumn morning, I recalled how it all started...with that infamous scene of her staring at the rain while I stole glimpses of her thru the reflection on the window glass.

That is it for now while I leave your hungry hearts for the devil to fester and grow.

10.4 had confirmation of the hunter being hunted.

Lucky strikes, no I am not referring to tobacco!

2010-09-03T21:03:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

After auditioning my Westone UM3X which I bought while I was in SG for about 3 weeks, I found the sound coming outta the right IEM to be very slightly soft as compared to the left IEM, probably about 2 ~ 5% while listening to various music in a completely quiet room in the middle of the night when I can hear myself breathing. Though it was only very slight, or maybe it might have been my right ear having problems but nonetheless, it was just that little bit of discerning that got me send an email to Westone requesting their professional advise. They offered a full exchange of the product completely free of charge but since I had bought this amazing and very expensive high end IEM in SG, and had since returned to Japan. Wasn't an issue with the amazing guys at Westone who referred my case to the Japanese since and had a brand new factory sealed set sent to my doorstep after I dropped them my USED ones! Amazing service I would say...no hassle not much questions asked...

Then I went online to buy a pair of tactical pants after doing some critical research before I settled on the 5.11 Taclite Pro Pant in coyote. They had a free TDU belt promotion sometime back for a limited period of time and I thought that was like way ages ago. Ordered the pant and was hesitant about buying a TDU belt and thank GOD I didn't order the belt because the 5.11 Taclite Pro Pant came with the belt...nice! Many raving reviews can be found in Youtube and on the net itself so go get a cheap affordable pair while stock last. The TDU belt is built like a tank with non metallic materials so you can pass thru airport securities without removing your belt. Thick and insanely tough but yet soft and flexible except the tip which is hardened to allow smooth access thru the heavy duty bomb proof plastic buckle and belt loops. It is also strong enuff to hold up all your tactical gear like pouches, cuffs and gun holsters.

The pant is constructed of rip-stop material consisting of 65% polyester and 35% cotton which is ideal for the hot summer. Man I really need to ditch my jeans in the washer soon...The 5.11 Taclite Pro Pant is relatively light and has enuff pockets to hold lots of stuff like a regular cargo pant. It's also compatible with tactical knee pad inserts and has loop holes at the bottom for draw strings. The pant comes factory treated with Teflon for some waterproof, stains and wind protection but only time will tell if they really work. Overall it's a super value-for-money tactical cargo pant that is both discreet and simple for all the rugged outdoors.

Next on my line up would be an upgrade of insoles from Superfeet for my desert boots.

The RIG...is up finally

2010-08-14T16:59:00.075+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Music has become an integral part of my life and has defined logical explanations for the emotional turmoils that I suffer from time to time. Simply, music colors my life in every way you could never have imagine. In the end, I can only conclude that I cannot live without music because without it, I am as good as a walking zombie left for dead.

Then comes Sound which cannot be defined by numbers or formulas. Sound is subjective to every individuals' ears which had me set out to discover the best sound since there can never be the perfect sound. I was looking for an affordable portable music rig since a home theatre system would run me into years of debt. Unfortunately I live no where near the nearest Giant Mega Electronic store like Yodobashi or Bic Camera so there was no where I could audition anything. Instead I spent sleepless nights reading online reviews from both professionals and amateurs to make my own judgement. Being relatively new to this expensive audiophile circle, I found myself struggling to understand the jargons involved.

After months of online research, I decided to pair my Ipod Touch 1st Gen to a headphone amplifier to drive a higher impedance In Ear Monitors (IEMs) which I was still scouting at that time. The Portable Rig would simply consist of my Ipod Touch (my primary player), a portable headphone amp, an IEM and a line out dock to feed the source from the Ipod straight into the amp. The reason is for the source to travel unfiltered and un-amp from the Ipod straight into the amp and then to the IEMs. Of course if gatbage is put into the amp, more audible garbage will be pushed outta the amp but I wasn't ready for large LOSSLESS CD quality WAV files. A decent 128 bit mp3 was more than enuff for me at the moment.

The Amp - Headamp Pico with DAC

I had narrowed my search down from about 5 and finally decided on the Headamp Pico (w/ DAC) for the amp. Though this was an already 2 year old amp since the first launch but still today, this tiny but mighty monster amp is making headlines all over for being the BEST DAC amp of it's class. The newer and wafer thin version dubbed PICO SLIM is also out but I still prefer the beefier older brother, the Original Pico. There was also a cheaper version of the Pico without the DAC but I wanted the DAC so that I can use it with the Macbook when I am at home.

The amp was really tiny when I opened it the package from Justin...I thought Justin had sent me a toy by mistake. Tested it out for a few days before I flew back to SG. The amp by itself was pretty good but when USB-ed to the Macbook, the Wolfson 24-bit chip DAC makes music outta Itunes sounded like pure nirvana. Now I knew what I had been missing out all these years...

There is however one major gripe about Headamp Products is that they are all MADE IN THE USA by 1 MAN, Justin so expect to wait for anything between 1 to 6 months after parting with you moo neh to the date the product arrives. Patience is the key here since Headamp Products are known to be of superior workmanship and quality.

The IEM - Westone UM3X (with removable cables)

I hadn't settled for any particular IEMs before I fly back toSG and was still using my Technics DJ cans for head-throbbing trance, house tunes and the occasional Audio Technica CK32 for pop and other slow tunes. I was leaning towards Westones and Ultimate Ears after going thru the same sleepless nights reading up on these IEMs. Though there were really too many choices to choose from, and going CUSTOMs were outta my budget, I knew I wanted an all rounder IEM to dish out decency for every genre. On the day before I flew back to SG, went down to Akiba's Yodobashi to audition the Westone 3, UM3X, Audio Technica(s) the UEs. Despite the fact that Japan pretty much have a reputation for quality service, the few blokes that served me at Akiba's Yodobashi weren't anywhere close to that rumored fame. Instead, I got the "You are fucking wasting my time" attitude...! Yeah I know these are expensive IEMs locked up in that clear jewel glass display but like I cared! I took my time and audition them, the Westone 3 and the UM3X for a good 5 minutes before handling back to the staffs with a much disgusted look. No way I would pay for such shits...

Though the Westone 3 was my first choice, I found the bass too strong and the treble too piercing for my taste after flowing some tunes thru my Ipod Touch + Pico combination. I did like the all black design and it really took me a while to figure out the red design on the IEM which looked like some sort of alien symbol. The UM3X had a better soundstage, clarity and sounded more neutral. This makes listening to different genres of music for long hours less fatigue and strenuous for my lovely ears. The Pico itself had a slightly punchy bass so I didn't need the extra bass from the Westone 3. The UM3X was offered in 2 versions, a regular package with non-detachable cables and standard Comply tips and a slightly more expensive version with removable cables and an assortment of tips. The hard carrying case for each version was different in size too but both versions had the half clear and half black design.

Next I tried the UE700 and the Audio Technica CKS90. The UE700 wasn't bad in my honest opinion but the clarity and sound stage that the UM3X exhibited had the competition won hands down. To sum it up, listening to the UM3X was literally like in the same studio room as the artist himself/herself. The CKS90 was just pure head banging bass which covered pretty much every other detail in the music. Imagine having 2 giant woofers reverberating low vibrations into your ear channels and nothing else...good for bassheads, house, dance but nothing else.

While in SG, I went down to Stereo in Causeway point to further re-affirm my decision to get UM3X by auditioning them and the Westone 3 for a good 5 to 10 minutes. So in the end it was the universal Westone UM3X for me which could be used for almost all genres of music. These IEMs came with the Comply foam tips which were a bit hard to get used initially but are great when you get the right fit.

The Cable - Cosmowave Ipod Dock Cable with Oyanide cable.

Before I left for SG, my Pico arrived and I needed something to feed the Ipod to the Pico so I checked out numerous Line Out Docks (LODs) and found that ALO Audio and Qables were the market leaders. But I couldn't justify the premium for these tiny cables until my ears tasted them. I got a relatively inexpensive LOD from a local Japanese company and I was good for the 3 hour bus ride to Tokyo and then the 7 hour flight back home.

While I was in SG, I went down to Jaben to test out the various other interconnectors that they had to offer but sadly, they didn't have any ultra low profile ones which I was looking for so it will be my Made in Japan one for now. Seriously, after auditioning the various LODs, there seems to be a very tiny discerning difference in sound quality, barely noticable unless you really put yourself into a state of trance and listen to music in an uninterupted, noise free room. Too bad Jaben didn't have any ALO or Qables for my to test...

The final combination of these audiophile parts left me pockets on fire but the sound that this rig produces...worth every yen and dollar in my opinion. 7 hours on the flight to and from Japan to SG, 3 hours bus ride home to and from me home to Tokyo left me with nothing but pure exhilarating music and not the slightest sign of my ears screaming for mercy. Amazing stuffs here...and someone in SG had the chance to audition my rig and the response was (in my own words), "WOW! this is some serious crazy shit!"

welcome to the world of quality portable theatre music in the palm of your hands...!

Clickable Credits -

Headamp Pico Head Fi Thread
Justin's Headamp Site
Westone Site
Ultimate Ears Site

Big Rig X Serpent

2010-07-29T12:19:00.009+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Having cleared off the speeding ticket in April, I was saving up for something pretty massive (hint...strawberry). Then the taxes came for me to file and robbed me of another pile of decent cash. To be upright honest, I wasn't very happy and when I wasn't happy, I needed to ventilate the angst. Somehow music and photoshop seems to work when I take my off days to Starbucks and Delifrance to further enhance my creative talents. There at these cold ventilated venues, I could select the appropriate music to feed them into my ears which will sort of have some sort of reaction to massage my brain. While I lie in ambush observing how people react to the environment around them, a BBC wildlife channel plays inside my head while my fingers input more signals to the mouse and keypad to weave magic.

To a certain extent, when I immerse myself so deeply into the music, a vacuum is form and it is in this hallucinatic trance that I can hear and feel vividly each clatter of the cymbals, each reverberation of the bass. The real world seems to vanish into the silence as I began to hear flaws in the music. Not quite an audiophile yet but this exceptional experience put me on a quest to improve the quality that feeds into my ears.

Now sound by itself is an exquisite form subjective to anyone who hears it and then there are those who dedicate their lives to perfecting it. It is indeed an expensive hobby but I was looking more of a portable form which got me reading up on portable music rigs consisting of the music player, a portable amp and the headphones. Expanding further from the original 3, there are so many other fine details that will come into play with respect to the final vibrations that feeds into my ear canals. Materials, cables, sources and also price are all worth considerations for seeking perfection subjected to the threshold of audiable and monetary limits.

Narrowed down my choice to just one single headphone amp to drive the impedences of any In Ear Monitors (IEMs), Headamp Electronics Pico pre-amp/dac. Though this nifty amp is small, it packs quite a punch and is regarded as one of the best ones around for a whooping USD$499. A lot of great reviews thronged the internet so I shall leave that for you to google.

My criteria of selection which were met were the fact that this is a very well made (in the USA) amp which is small enuff to chug it with my 1st gen Ipod Touch. Subtle and clad in all black was both stealthy and discreet which goes inline with my taste. This amp also has a built in DAC which meant that I could get decent raw sound straight from my Mac via usb to the amp untouched, unedited, unfiltered, uncompressed and into my IEMs which are great for movies and working at home. The last and deciding factor was that Yen was appreciating against the Dollar which makes this purchase all the more worthwhile. The only issue like everyone else was the long wait time (like 3 months) but my ETA was much less. It will soon be dropped at my doorstep before I fly back to SG which was the original plan since I needed the music for travel.

Next were the line out docks (LODs) which happens to be an array of technical indepth materials which ranges greatly in price. These wired gadgets basically feed the source file from the music player into the amp which feeds them to the IEMs. ALO audio and Qables are supposedly the current industry giants with respect to these tiny wired interconnectors (ICs). Apparently the material like copper, silver and gold, cryo-treated, etc seems to play a part in the sound but I was a total noob in these vast technical field with no where to test the ICs, I opted to go for a made in Japan generic LOD that didn't cost me an arm or leg till I get to test the high grade ones in SG.

Still holding on to my Technics headphones until I could find another set of decent cans/IEMs. And that pretty much sums up my portable music rig...

The one other item I was eyeing was the Razer Mamba wireless mouse what will somewhat retire the current Razer Deathadder that had served me well for almost 4 ~ 5 years. I will still keep the current mouse as a spare but wireless was something that I had been eyeing for a while and Razer mices are quite a huge draw for me. Sleek black with blue glowing LEDs...never seem to grow outta them besides the smart plain white Iphone 4, PSP or S15.

Yep these 2 items will keep my geeky spirit healthy for a while...and hopefully I can do a pic pre-view soon.

see you in Aug

Missing in Action

2010-07-29T11:35:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

For almost 2 whole months, maybe 3...there weren't any updates. I didn't felt the need to, didn't have much too but guilt caught up with me and so here it is.

Since switching to the new job since April, I had been thrown into a cruel mix of skeptical and disgusting but yet subtle and enduring emotional turmoil. The constant discovery of unhealthy industry standards, flaws and corner-cuttings had left me gasping for air while on this filthy trail. In a mere 4 months, I had became a hedious actor adept in the art of deception thru fabrication of certain truths. So many times had I battled against my own conscience but in the end, the devil always triumph.

Besides degrading my potential skill level and underperforming, I am required to put on my best act without overshining the main veteran star. Man that's quite a feat which seems almost impossible to achieve.

Over the years, from a psychological humanely perspection, I have come to respect the special relationship amongst strangers and friends sadly, only to have them robbed in these short months. Despite all these, I am still not ready to let go because I have a bigger cause to worry about and all these will become trivial issues when the main picture is complete.

Luckily for me, I have other alternatives to channel my vested interests all thanks to my angelic choice back then to not screw around with prospective sources. Glad that it worked out as each day, more opportunities are being shoved thru my front door. Though I might just be going thru a mid life crisis, the only thing that will or rather had changed is my attitude towards certain specific stimulus. My passion, my dream and my determination remains unmoved because greater achievements awaits me in this strange journey towards the great unknown.

In just less than a week I will be making the annual pilgrimage back home to feel the nostalgic charm of my birth place. Though there are certain people which I will not be able to meet, there will be new people waiting to meet me instead. Each year when I make my trip back, the anxiety seems to be somewhat different. This year, I am quite glad to be able to head home though only for a short 1 week instead of the usual 3 weeks. Because of the fact that it will be a very very short 1 week, it makes everything even more worthwhile besides the fact that I want to escape this hectic hell hole for a while.

A wedding to grace, friends to meet, new family members to greet, local mind fuel and lots of new places to see plus the irritating exit permit renewal.

For the 1st time, I am actually looking to fly home.

Then when I am back here, winter is all that I look forward to.

Under Exposure

2010-05-20T09:17:00.008+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

As I began to find more meaning to keep my daily job as interesting as possible, including the required task to view beautiful photos of people...I find myself seemingly discovering my hidden desire to collect beautiful people. This is of couse against the crude practise of digging out the filth in the company like people who truly deserve to be put down for good.

While in the midst of all these spectacular action, I managed to snag a couple of film like shots to feed my silent photo folders and sites for a change. Weather here is still good with average highs creeping no more than 20 degrees and lows going somewhere to around 8 degrees when it rains.

And yesterday, the second day of my off day, I spent a cold lonely afternoon in Delifrance clearing up some old RAW files to free up space on my Mac. It was raining and there weren't really a lot of people around so it was just me, the rain and the cold tame weather.

So here are some works...

And all that aside, my skills, I mean my photography and photoshop wizardry has seriously been undermined since I am expected to underperform here using outdated over spec equipment. Welcome to the insider story of the industry...

The Recipe for April

2010-04-22T19:59:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

A string of events hit April of 2010 with my parents coming over, and then my friends. It was a much anticipated event which had started the hype since late last year although my parents coming over was more of a late decision early this year. While it has definitely been a great start to the new year with a new job, new place, etc. I guess too much of goodness might just bring in sudden misfortunes as the cycle of fate rotates.

Damn I was right on although caught without preparation which left me learning each lesson as it was being served. By now everyone would have probably know how I swear by Made in Japan products but a speeding ticket was NOT anywhere even close to my daily consciousness. FUCK!

Here in Japan, I mean rural Japan, speeding traps (ネズミ捕りnezumi tori) aka Mousetraps are done in a dangerous and mindless fashion. A speed radar is strategically camouflaged by the road side connected via a long wire to a distant blue police bus parked by a slip road some distance ahead. Usually these traps are found on long stretch of back roads without much bends. After the radar records the speed breach, some distance ahead along the same direction some old, one-foot-in-the-grave policeman would spring out onto the road with a red flag to guide you into the slip road where the bus would be parked. This is where you punched the air and scream "FUCKED!" Somehow the distance between where the radar is placed and the spot where the "OJISAN" policeman would jump out is probably calculated "theoretically" for the speeding car to brake safely without hitting the soon-to-be-dead "OJISAN".

You see the "OJISAN" would jump out as soon as the radar detects the breach so you HAVE TO BRAKE hard even if it means emergency braking, that is if you are really flying down more than 100km/h on that stretch of 40km/h road. Then again if you fail to break in time, be prepared for a nice red clumpy smear, dents and a shattered windscreen which will guarantee you a spot in the local jail, tons of fines and a lot more shit! The speed trap is manned by one daredevil Ojisan to stop the speeding cars, some oven-fresh police cadet to record you details and to prove to you how fast you are going inside the bus where you agree to everything they say and seal the long slip of speeding ticket with your fingerprint and there will be another police officer to fiddle with the radar equipment.

I scraped 35km/h in excess of the limit of 40km/h which carried 6 demerit points and a fine between ¥60,000 to ¥100,000.

After a couple of weeks a post card will come from the prefecture police department to tell you that you HAVE to go to the prefectural driving centre to attend a traffic lecture to rob you a further ¥13,000 ++ . Depending on how much in excess you went over the speed limit, your driver's license will either be suspended for a short term period of 30 days or mid term period of 60 days or a long term period of 90 days. The date is FIXED but it's is possible to change the date where you attend a silly basic driving lecture given by some un-professional OJISAN (AGAIN!) who will tell you everything you (already know) need to know to pass the test at the end of the lecture. It's a 1 day lecture that starts from 0845 in the morning to 1630 in the afternoon. When you arrive in the morning, you will go thru the reception where some policeman will tell you that "beginning today, your license will be suspended for XX number of days so please proceed upstairs for the traffic lecture." and he will hand you a very nicely designed form to document your suspension and confiscate your license. So it's advisable NOT to drive on THAT very day...(reason later in the post!)

Here you pay a hefty ¥13,000 ++ and attend the crappy lecture in Japanese (if you don't understand, then too bad) where you PAY ATTENTION each time the lecturer says, "これは大事な所です! (This is where it's important!) because that's the answer to the questions". You will be given a "how to drive safely" or some other crappy book in Japanese where you can take notes because he will usually repeats several times on important parts. If your Japanese language ability is not good enuff, you will find yourself struggling but you can always ask for an ENGLISH book and test which I did. There will be other staffs to aid you in understanding in Japanese if you are in doubt.

After that you go for lunch.

After lunch, play some simulator to test you reaction time against erratic changes and a driving simulator to test how safe you are as a driver. Then back to the lecture room with no preparation time, the test begins. If you have been listening to the lecture, you can clear the 40 questions with ease. I did the English version which was generally understandable English consisting of common sense questions so if you couldn't clear it, then you would be better off playing GT4 at home. The duration of the test was like 15 or 20 minutes, I couldn't really remember but whatever.

The test consist of 38 true of false questions which carry 1 point each and 2 questions at the end which is sub divided to a further 3 true of false questions. The last 2 questions each describes a scenario where you have to answer 3 true of false questions per scenario. You have to get all 3 answers correct to score 2 point for each scenario, so 38 points plus 2 points plus 2 points equates 42 points which is the full score. If you get between 36 to 42, your 30 day suspension will be reduced to a 1 day suspension which is effective on the day you attend the stupid lecture and take the test, that is why I mentioned earlier NOT to drive there. Scoring 30 to 35 will reduce your 30 day suspension to 5 days and scoring 25 to 34 will reduce your 30 day suspension to 10 days.

Before getting your test scores you will receive the result of your simulation test which mine said, "I had lightning fast reaction time (0.44 seconds) to sudden changes in both pedal control and steering wheel turning!" scoring a 4 out 5 in the overall result. Though I screwed up some initial tests since the ambiguous instructions given by the UNPROFESSIONAL Ojisans varied with the instructions on the screen...damn those idiots, otherwise I would have aced the crappy simulation game given my perfectionist nature. Then again if you are an avid gamer, these simulation will seem like kindergarden amusement.

There...a stupid ¥13,000 ++ to feed those nothing-better-to-do unprofessional lecturers, waste my day at traffic school, play some silly simulation games to re-discover my Jedi reflexes and then a yet unknown lump sum donation, a 1st in 3 years to the rural traffic department, hopefully to fund someone's funeral all on a fine gloomy rainy day.

The Industry

2010-04-19T17:17:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Photography is a vast world with boundaries only defined by the limits of Man's perspective and the most challenging genre at least for me, is wedding photography. Factor this genre with influence of cultures and a whole new world is opened to me. Typical Chinese-themed wedding styles are all too familiar to me but here in Japan, everything that I presumed I knew would soon be thrown out and I find myself taking those essential baby steps.

Typical Japanese weddings are done more or less with respect to their age old customs and cultures, silent, solemn and very very ritual like. Speaking to a couple of rather experienced Japanese wedding photogs, I soon learnt that wedding ceremonies are done to honor and respect the guests present (done FOR the guests), somewhat different from the Chinese ones which are done for the couples themselves or for customs. Even the layout is a little different since the parents are placed furthest away from the couple (themselves being at the most bottom) while the Chinese ones have the families closest to the couple.

Ritual ceremonies will differ accordingly to religion but the solemn, silent and no-nonsense aura is pretty much the same in almost all ceremonies. Church weddings will only allow the white gown and suit style and the other Asian religion will usually see Kimonos in assorted colors according to each respective religion.

Wedding photographer is yet another very misunderstood profession here in Japan. Typical wedding photographers belong to a larger organization like a hotel, resort, restaurant, etc and are not "a la carte" like in SG to be chosen by the marrying couple. Instead, couples pick the place to have the wedding and select the style they want their pictures to be done in albums via the "Reception" staffs. Then the staffs forward the info to the respective departments and wedding photographers are assigned randomly according to a monthly schedule chart. Photographers have no prior communication to the couple other than on the actual wedding day. To overcome certain photographers from growing exponentially, every SINGLE photographer in the team of wedding photographers have to produce the very same pictures that the couple had chosen from the limited range of samples. In other words, as a wedding photographer, it's not really necessary to have any prior photographer skills, gear, passion, etc. Photographers are hired with respect to how capable they are to produce the same stuffs in the albums after they go thru a 3 month training.

Once the pictures required for making the album are completed, then the individual photographer can explore his / her individual taste by infusing their own style into the rest of the pictures, although there is a high chance that most of these artistic pictures would not make it to the final album.

Japanese couples in general want what they see in the album without much variation so as a photographer, all one need to do is to replicate the same consistency in the fixed location, architecture and place. The only variation that can be explored are unforeseen weather changes and lighting and that is pretty much everything. I was astonished and almost beyond amazement when I found out all these facts but of course there are other companies that offer couples a chance to choose the style they want according to each photographer's portfolio. In general, from a company's perspective, this is to reduce any internal friction where one member of a certain department may out shine others which coincides to the general norm in a Japanese society that is, "If a nail sticks out, HAMMER THAT BITCH down!" It's in their culture, history that have spanned a long time which everyone else is not suppose to be indifferent from the rest, better to blend in than to realize your potential.

I was indeed passionate about this job because I could see myself exploring my own style like liquid taking the form of what ever that would be thrown at me...I was wrong. I have became a staff, a part of a team to a larger part of an organization where my duties is to replicate so that the company can make more money to pay my salary and hire more people. Passion, skills, experience or style are NOT even a requirement to become a wedding photographer. It's just about any other job in the boring sector...

Unless of course I get foreigners from outside Japan, I play the boring role of a xerox machine.

Good times bad times nostalgic times

2010-04-04T22:50:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

I guessed to achieve certain dreams if not all dreams, sacrifices no matter how minor or grave are necessary and so this was how I paid mine. The path which I had decided back then is now half completed and slowly I thought I had it all until the all so familiar faces, the smiles, the giggles, the hugs and memories started to surface from the vivid lake of the forgotten.

Mummy has more grey streaks now and she walks more slowly, daddy has aged more and was no longer the man I knew who lifted huge slabs of stones. Mummy has less aspirations for herself because she just wants to spend more time with me and daddy just wants me to get married soon. Little brother is all grown up now and has become more of a man than I am, well I am still a kid as usual. He dresses pretty smartly and has the charisma to shine...but still I pull some strings on his style and head gear of course.

Certain visions has become much clearer but there are some issues that I felt compelled to accomplish. Indeed I had not provided anything for my parents for a while so mummy's complains about borrowing cameras and a backpack came across to me as a form of responsibility to fulfill. In the end, I bought the Canon S90 and a Japanese design bag for Mummy because her smile was my satisfaction for a long long time to come. Daddy on the other hand just wanted to enjoy so food was something that he always liked and I tried to clear the bill for each meal. Then of course the fact that I was entering into the professional realm of photography was an opportunity to fulfill my duty as a son. Though I cannot provide perishable wealth, photography became a medium to preserve the beautiful memories that I shared with my family. An element so strong and untainted by time or nature. I tried but still in the end, I was only half satisfied because nostalgic memories brought tears to me eyes.

Then my good friend brought his troops whom I knew little more than their names and a couple of friendly chats back then. I was most impressed with getting a little closer to them and slowing understanding them more as a personal friend. We shared good times and I missed their giggles, smiles and laughters.

When everyone left, I knew I was back where I had started, alone and spinning a web of illusion to every local here. I was sad because good times fly past and I meant really really GOD DAMN fast. But still there isn't the slightest hesitation to deny a retry and live my life in SG. Just not something that I can do or forgive myself for doing.

Then I started to speak, I have spoken to a few lucky people of my interpretations but sadly some people are simply too proud of themselves to listen to anyone and it's here I realized that those around me who used to be and still are my inspirations are still in their own exclusive league above average man in the street. They are the ones who listen and they are the ones who are very talented with recognition without self promotion.

Before that I defined how the casual chat actually contained a deeper meaning to people like me and likes around me. It was my way of luring out the a friend or foe of my level from the usual nonsense sprouting trash who never fails to amuse me each day with their stupidity. It's hard not to bite the bait when ego is at stake so a very well orchestrated master piece that worked once again was laid out without much effort and the Law saw it thru right from the start.

Talking is a 2 way conversation while a speech is a 1 way conversation. Most, in fact everyone don't think much of talking especially casual conversation but I see it very differently. Talking is merely a medium of conversation and a conversation is merely a medium of exchanging information. A mastery of the art of conversation is to collect as much information from the other party without being detected with the intention to facilitate any of the followings,

1. To aid and to cut down the learning curve but leeching on the experience of others.

2. To fish out more information pertaining to certain issues.

3. To force the other party into a pre-determined situation without being detected.

4. To ridicule or to amuse others like minded around.

5. To put oneself in a favorable position.

Speech basically is made when the speaker is of a certain calibre where everyone else LISTENS to gain as much as possible.

Then I started to go deeper and defined why fashion is a very crucial part of our existence. There are 5 mortal senses and the sense of sight is possibly without a doubt the only sense that allows an evaluation of a total stranger. Here is where fashion plays a TREMENDOUS part in making an average person stand out to be noticed. Once that ambiguous barrier is broken, speech is the next optimum weapon to use since we can paint who ever we want to be to the other person. Here is where genuine conversation shines and bragging, let's just say it's not always efficient around talented people who KNOW their stuffs. Continuing from above, if one is adept in the mastery of speech, following up on the relationship of the 2 strangers would be of relative ease.

The point is that if you set too high a bench mark from the start, you better make sure you can keep up because falling from high places usually results in fatalities. Moving on to the internet...

These days, the power of the internet have indeed brought people closer and surprisingly, stores an immerse collection of virtual information readily available for free. Sadly all these technological marvel seems to make most of us lazier and to a certain extent, more stupid.

Take for example how those unsolicited emails get around faster than we blink our eyes simply because people these days just abuse the "forward" button. Those spams, pity some poor mofo crap, FB charging people, help some S.O.B. Tsunami/Earthquake victims, etc, the list goes on like a bottomless pit and many of use simply forward these emails to our vulnerable friends without even questioning the credibility of it.

From the way I see it, I began to question how these people have their lives written out like a 3 year old kid's story book which I could read with little or no effort. So does forwarding these emails satify your inner insecurity that your friends would be better informed and appreciate your actions? Or the fact that you felt like you did a good think and really think that some Haitians would benefit from your actions? No doubt that we all have different reasons to use the internet, to use it wisely is perhaps the hardest concept to put across to the common folks around us. Google and other major search engines are not surprisingly available 24/7 and yet these names become unknown then the "forward" button appears. A simple check with google while still seating on the same seat, staring in front of a screen and a few simple clicks of the mouse have become a hassle for some. Like a chain reaction, our little compassionate actions to inform our friends would simply lead them to their immenient end.

I am sad, I miss everyone back home and everything back home but still I have found my path and that sadness usually only last for a transitory period of time.

Ashley Wood X Threezero = 3A

2010-03-10T10:48:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Recently while screwing around the net due to too much free time, I found that the old Threezero company based in Hong Kong which had collaborations with Michael Lau that made awesome 1/6 toys had now partnered with an iconic artist, Ashley Wood. If you do not have any idea who this Ashley dude is, WIKI HERE will help you out.

This dude here has got some amazing talent and his paintings are really appealing to me because they are gritty, dark and mysterious. But too bad I found out about this piece of info a bit too late. The partnership bewteen Ashley and Threezero formed a new toy company named 3A which puts out Ashley's concepts and paintings into playthings.

I have a soft spot for gas mask, especially the German M38 series of WWII gas masks or the American "dough boy" ones. Then Ash created the "de Plume" series of 1/6 figures which are all handmade and weathered nicely and they ALL don the iconic gas mask resembling the M38(s). I can only say drooling is what I can do because these figures are released world wide to either 50 or 75 pieces from the Bambaland store. While the store sells them for less than US$250, they were snapped up like withing 2 minutes or sometimes even less. Occasionally, you can find them on Ebay at US$850 or US$1000. I really dig these "de Plume" figures but no way will I fork out that kinda moo neh.

Damn these figures are giving me sleepless nights...

Limited Edition Casio G Shock GW-5000B-1JR + Protector

2010-03-09T18:07:00.034+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Many years ago, the Singapore Armed Forces drafted me into a mandatory service to experience what the big outdoors were like. Then I realized that I was nothing compared to those who make a living out of it, the SPECIAL FORCES from around the world like SAS, GSG-9, SAT, SEALs, SDU, etc.

Since then I became materialistically attached to military grade gear because they last longer, have less colors/brands/tags/designs and are always awesome.

Military watches are not something that I put a lot of priority on the top of the wish list because there are many other alternatives out there.

I was looking particular at formal dress watches like Tag Heuer, Rolex, Citizen or Grand Seiko since I already owned an amazing Casio PRW-1100YTJ-1JF which had all the nifty stuff like barometer, altimeter and thermometer, etc for my geeky needs. Besides, the other watches either lack some night lighting or looked a bit too loud for my subtle style.

Somehow by chance I stumbled upon the classic square design Casio G Shock DW-5600E which was very different from the usual big, bulky G Shocks which a were and still are really ugly in my opinion. I wanted a sleek, low profile and unobnoxious watch that I could easily slip under my shirt's cuffs which I seemed to have a bit of a problem with the PRW-1100 and the 5600 series clearly fitted the bill. Though I had known the existence of the 5600 series, I wasn't all that hyped up about it previously so I didn't really do much research into it. This time round, I started with a plain DW-5600E for reference and sunk deeper thru the various DW(s) and GW(s) for almost a month.

I also found out that the 5600 series was issued to the Navy Seals replacing the Rolex(s) which they used to be issued. The reason for that was because the 5600 series were cheaper to replace, more durable to withstand shocks and water borne operations, lighter and smaller and very stealthy.

Dating back to the original first G Shock DW-5000 right up to the DW-5600C, these affordable watches were crafted with pride in JAPAN like a tank in a "Tuna Can" screw back design to put up to pretty much all forms of abuse. (Keanu Reeves was wearing the TUNA CAN DW-5600C in the first SPEED movie.)

Then Casio decided to change the back casing from the DW-5600E series onwards to a stamped metal plate held by 4 screws against an O ring to seal the gasket against water. Slowly, these watches were being out sourced to various countries like Thailand and Malaysia.

I held back on some of these earlier DW series for reasons like a single incandescent light instead of the blue illuminator back light, the need to replace the batteries, not made in Japan, no atomic calibration and the non-screw back design. The newer GW series had solar chargers and atomic calibration and I was particularly looking at the GW-5600BJ and GW-M5600BJ both in reverse, black LCD display. But I held back again because I wanted the date and day of the week to be displayed at the same time and the non-screw back and "not-made-in-Japan" were also factors to be considered. Though these G Shocks are so much cheaper compared to the other high end watches, I really wouldn't mind paying a little over ￥30,000 just to be comfortable.

Not all convinced yet I examined every lead, clue and detail until I found the newly released GW-5000 on the Japan G Shock site which featured the same screw back design coated in diamond like carbon (DLC), has a solar charger so no need to replace batts, has automatic atomic calibration and is the one of the only few G Shock(s) still made in Japan. Still I wasn't all sold to it because I wanted a G Shock with a reverse display.

Digging further, the GW-5000B-1JR surfaced under scrutiny as a limited edition version only in Japan which wasn't even listed on ANY G Shock sites. Many had dubbed this watch as the possible Holy Grail of the 5600 series. So after many days of pondering and the constant soaring of the prices, I snapped up one and started yet another ordeal to pimp it up. The main difference somewhat minor between the regular GW-5000 and the LE GW-5000B is that the LE version comes in a tin case, has DLC on all four buttons and the strap buckle.

By a stroke of luck, I found and subsequently won an auction for a brand new, out of production G Shock protector which many 5600 affectionados are desperately seeking.

I have found peace, at least for now.

Specifications -

Made in Japan.
Screw back
DLC finished (Screw back, buttons and buckle)
Water Resistant 20 ATM
Shock resistant
Solar powered
Multi band 6 Atomic Timekeeping; "Fukushima, Kyusyu (Japan), Colorado(USA) (Germany England)EU & CHINA"
World time (48 cities)
1/100-second stopwatch
Countdown timer (24hr)
5 independent daily alarms (incl. Snooze)
Hourly time signal
Battery power indicator
Power Saving
Auto-calendar
12/24-hour format
Mineral Crystal Face
Electro-luminescent backlight
Size: 48.9 X 42.8 X 13.5 mm
Weight: 73.8g

Though the watch looks a bit greyish in the pictures, the actual watch is actually clad in a matte, non reflective black resin except for the high gloss, polished DLC buckle, buttons and screw back case.

Fluid Viscosity

2010-03-03T09:21:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Money is like water be it in the aspect of Feng Shui or other forms of representation. And in the coming months, I will have a high outflow against a slow and low inflow. Won an auction for a used film scanner that had eaten into my S15 reserves and now I have other items on the waiting list to be realized namely a replacement for my lost mittens and some other "wanted but not needed at the moment" stuffs.

I will probably post up some pictures of those items that I had bought recently with a small review.

While looking for durable bag accessories, I stumbled upon this company, Kifaru, which was touted as the best in the market since their stuffs are mostly hand crafted with pride in the USA. Though I do like my current pack because of the lack of PAL webbings for a low profile look, some of the Kifaru's range of packs got me salivating. But ultimately I was simply looking on the practical side of maximizing my limited financial status so some small pouches and accessory are all that I need, that is if I do travel around. I need to pack my supplies, clothes, gear and camera stuffs so I want something not too crazy but still able to pack all the above mentioned stuff.

Sleeping bags...been looking at them for a while but the Snowpeak Japanese Futon ones seems rather cosy and sleepable than compared to the usuay "mummy" type...

Gonna buy mummy a nice Canon S90, which I had fancied for a long time but have no practical use for it since I already have some DSLRs which I will haul everywhere I go.

Since getting the film scanner, I had dumped the crappy Made in Indonesia Epson GT-X 970 which broke on me 2 times in 1 winter because of power failure at my friend's place and hopefully salvage some funds after he auctioned it off.

Looking forward to another 2 more weeks before I say goodbye to 3 years of being a clown to these kids. I see myself cleaning up my new place, moving the necessary furniture in, awaiting the arrival of my parents, my brother and my friends and then the start of my new life in a new environment and a new job. Of course if someday YOU could see the same sunset that I see everyday with me, it will possibly be the most amazing feeling that I had denied for a long time.

I am almost there but still not there yet...my heart is racing fast at times skipping a beat because I have my new crash pad all designed in my head. I will probably put the aquisition of the Rolleiflex to a later date since I am saving up for the S15 which will be the most expensive possession in my 2.5 decade of walking this planet.

Now with that much outflow leaking away, I really should start to look for a more viscous fluid to control the flow.

It just keep getting better...

2010-02-24T12:01:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Over the weekend, I went down to Tokyo to attend a Bday party of a great pal. The first thing that I realised that did surprise me was that the air smelled different. Tokyo was a place which I had very much wanted to move to but somehow the same air, the same scent that I had sucked into my lungs was very different this time round.

Then I began to feel a certain sense of attachment to Nagano, the vast space, the mountains, the snow and the scenery till I began to become a little apprehensive of Tokyo, which used to be a place that I really really loved. People change I guess and so are my taste, style and other functional sensory triggers.

At the party, I met more amazing people and suddenly everyone, the Japanese people in particular seemed to speak English, I meant really really good English. Nothing like in Nagano...but I felt foreign since I was so used to being in the all Japanese environment. These amazing people soon provided decent lens food for my 5D with the Sig 50mm. Most of them had FB which of course was a huge blessing so the pictures are all up. Played Crysis, Call of Duty 4, and a little Bioshock on my pal's comp and realised how I had been left in the stone ages. Nonetheless, though centuries late since the era of Half Life 2 and Counter Strike, Crysis still packed a huge punch which left me trading sleep for hours of non-stop action in my drunken stupor.

Over the course of the weekend, I had more ales (GOSH I am huge sucker for ales) and stouts than I ever did in Nagano. Then early into Sunday morning, I went to Tsukiji hoping to catch some nice shutter chance but was smashed to find out that the famous fish market was closed on Sundays. The epic failure wasn't all that bad since I hardly had a winked fom Saturday's nite booze parade and hours of Crysis action. Went to a nearby 24 hour sushi shop and had 1 of the most heavenly piece of God's sushi, the 大トロ (Oo Toro) of the Blue Fin Tuna. No pictures but the description are as follows. Imagine a slab of marbled textured fish meat that looked like a piece of Kobe beef on a luke warm fragrant sushi rice entering your mouth. The very moment you start to chew on it, the piece of fish meat literally DISOLVE slowly releasing the fatty taste of the tuna spreading to all the empty sections of your mouth. I swore I really didn't want to swallow that half saliva-digested pile in my mouth.

I got back to Nagano on early Sunday morning before 10 am and slept all the way till Monday morning with a spliting headache. Panadols solved everything and then it was back to work which I had already thrown in the half fuck attitude. The kids of the 6th grade pissed me off beyond my reasonable limit and I just smiled and told the home room teacher that I was very much done with that class and would not want to attend the last class on Mar 8th. Had a slight conversation with the home room teacher only to find out that he was the ham between the 2 pieces of bread. The forces of shitty-deserved-to-be-shot snobbish parents of 2 of the brats had the home room teacher's head on the platter. In other words, he had to stomach all the shits from these brats or risk losing his job. I understood his plight and had a compromise solution in the end.

Tuesday, took half a day off to submit my VISA application for the new job. Was told that it was too early and lacking a couple of documents. Came back and prepared the necessary documents for the next visit. Then went online to check on the auction status of a second hand Nikon Super Coolscan 5000 ED dedicated 35mm film scanner that Master B had recommended. Won the auction in the end hovering around the SGD$1,200 range which was still a steal considering the brand new version above SGD$3,000. Now all I have to do is to sell of the crappy Made in Terrorist Land Epson scanner.

Today came to school looking all good, checking the net for more shopping stuffs and found a 1st hand G Shock Protector for the DW/GW 5000/5600 series of watches. Apparently these hard to find protectors were no longer being produced by Casio and were being very much sought after by many collectors. I myself had been looking for one for a while so that pretty much made my day.

Will try to do a private photoshoot of my limited edition Made in Japan Casio G Shock GW-5000B 1JR with the protector soon.

Unexpected but I do take it as a compliment

2010-02-18T09:55:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Yesterday, mid week, went out to dinner supposedly with my benefactor who introduced me the opening to the new job that I eventually got it. The small cosy restaurant was one of the better ones around here since I pretty much know the staffs, owner and his wife.

Then my benefactor brought 2 oher friends along who 1 of them I knew. Now I was planted in such a setting that I was the only male amongst 3 females who will be my co-workers in April. Not a bad start since I already know 2 of them and probably a 3rd one by the end of the night. Wacky as usual, we broke into the uncanny conversations littered with weird Japanese and English which often ended with laughters. While the entire stint was going on, I could hear my inner thoughts giving an assurance of approval even before I actually start working in Apr...I was beginning to like every second and every advancement into the future pertaining to my new job, new friends and new environment.

Thru the conversations, I learned that my immediate Boss, the very same guy who hired me had a huge impression of me since the very first interview that I went. Somehow it was like he was already determined to hire me after the first meeting but just wanted to confirm my personality as to whether I was outgoing and able to handle "people" situations. Much to my astonishment, the very first impression that became my truimph card was my appearence. Yeah the one with the goatee and messed up hairdo...because these girls here were telling me that "The Boss" went around telling everyone how "cute" I was and it would be a great addition to the company specifically his photography department.

Immediately 2 questions popped into my head...1. Presentable gentlemen or young gentlemen are not present in the current work place. 2. "The Boss" was gay. But on further probing, well I can put the second question down since "The Boss" was a married man. So investigating further on the 1st question, why was my appearence taken into consideration on the 1st interview? Though no valid answers supported with facts surfaced by the end of the night, I kinda concluded after having a slight "tour" of the compounds, abruptly meeting the rest of the potential crew during my 1st interview, that looks or rather appearence was of paramount importance in a service oriented industry where high net worth figures would stroll in from the neighbouring areas. Besides, if I do get hired, I would probably be the 1st foreigner, tri-lingual photographer who can pull of in the fashion department as well as being blessed (Thks Mummy and Daddy) with presentable appearence. And that was definitely how I saw it but apparently my name had began to spread within the new place of employment and everyone seems to want to catch a glimpse of me and possibly evaluate how "cute" I was against The Boss's allegations. I forsee a long hard road ahead to keep up with these impressions.

In my almost 1.5 decades of existence, I had never once looked at myself in the mirror and say, "Oh boy, what a beautiful face you have." Looking at the aged photos, I realised that my appearence had indeed changed from a fat pugsy outcast, to someone who could blend into fake fascade environment. Though it might sound weird but it seemed that since the day I decided to be a devoted advocate to the Japanese fellowship, my style and appearence did evolve according to my mentality. Some credit did went to my ex Japanese GF without a doubt to boost my confidence in the style department to fit into where I had wanted to be. Since I became a teen, I had always wanted to be different so that I could fit in with the attention I wanted. I wanted attention, I wanted to be different and I wanted to have a following. Though it took a little while before I had a following, everything did pay off in the end. Not bad at all looking back at how far I had come...

Oh on a side note before I forget, my new work place will have a 70 - 30 ratio of young applicable females to guys so hopefully some sparks could start flying since I am not getting any younger and EVERYONE around me seems to propose, get married, have kids and I am still here left on the shelf collecting unwanted dust. At least I want a nice set of photos before wrinkles kill my self esteem. Yes I am vain... :p

Something gained and something lost...bloody hell!

2010-02-17T09:28:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

After embarking on the life changing delivery mission, I found that my winter mitts were missing in action. Searched high and low, in and out, the house and the car and nothing...not even a trace or a speck of dust trail. *Sob* *Sob* Those mitts had kept me warm for 2 seasons and I really like them... *Sob* *Sob* And now they are lost and I had the slightest idea where I lost them. I was wondering, these mitts were big and if I had dropped them, I would have definitely felt or seen it. Sadly, they had vanished miraculously and nothing seems to come out useful from my head. *Sigh* So I went online and purchased another set of mitts...

The only satisfaction I got outta "this strange ordeal" (Edison Chen`s infamous quote) was that I got to hear mi voice which had me dancing in delight. Then the replacement of the Arc Teryx Alpha came in the post, and finally to top it off, I found a used Nikon Coolscan 5000 ED which Master B put forth as "Beat until die also won't sell" film scanner...things are working out slowly but the lost of my beloved mitts did sour my soul.

This coming Friday, I had already gotten an approval from the vice principal to flee the school after lunch on certain excuses but don't bother asking me since I won't tell :p There after, I will head to Shinjuku to meet up with D and have a huge Bday party in Roppongi...Definitely looking forward since I will be hauling my camera down!

Yeah it seems like there are always two sides of the coin so something gained will usually mean something lost like the ancient barter trade of exchange. But sometimes in monetary forms, like how the stupid tax that I had paid in excess, took a little too long to be refunded back to me which I would have easily factored in opportunity cost. In the end, I got it back only to hand it out immediately for another tax, the Residence Tax (Shiminzei)

The Sacred Delivery Mission Completed!

2010-02-15T14:35:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Valentine's Day have a very different approach, meaning and significance here in Japan but Wiki will give you a more detailed information. And in my love career, I had only given out 2 bouquets of flowers to 2 different lady which of course makes them reigned supreme over every other lady that I have come to known. As I grew older, not necessary wiser, I found that I became rather cautious on extravagant spending. The reason is because I want to be able to "invest" in the right one than just throwing away money blindly to sinister charities like those in SG.

Many years went by, not a spark, not even any form of thermal energy from anyone so I remained cold further isolated by each winter. Then something happened late last year towards the end of the year. Strange but credible if you want to believe, things changed for the better...I found a new job, all hyped up...looking forward to being able to realise yet another dream, the S15 after 10 odd years and a new crash pad, etc. I could see the turn of events one after another showering like holy presents from God...then I began to sneak back into the chilly crevices doubting all these sudden stroke of good faith. I began to doubt certain things and prepare myself incase the tide turn on me. Amidst all these mental confusions, there was one, a very very significant one that seems to shackle me with fear and I tremble with each step, each move, each decision because every minute forward into the future could spell a cruel and disturbing plunge into darkness. I am walking on a thin line with only uncertainties and questions that I couldn't answer by myself...

February 13th, in the year 2010...it was a Saturday and after careful considerations, I decided to heed an advice of a friend, to deliver a sweet package to mi. It was one of the longest journey in my life that simply robbed me of at least 2 years of useful brain cells and youth. Then entire solitary journey thru the snowy passes had me messed up with the voices of the angel and the devil on each shoulder. It was a dangerous mental journey to realise certain things that could very well change my life forever.

Usually it would had been the highway but to save on cost, I decided to take a longer but free route instead and these were some of the mountain passes that I sneakily "drifted" in practice to get there.

Along the way the new fresh snow found the bare canopy of the coniferous pines fine resting places so I couldn't resist it too and whipped out my 5D.

Eventhough I have been to this place numerous times over the last 1000 odd days, sadly only in the deep of winter. Each time I drove home, I really wished I was the passenger instead because each sunset that greeted me was different and yet similarly beautiful. On this day, I reached the designated place, walked up a small uphill path of white, delivered a sweet package and felt my heart skipped a couple of beats when one of God's angel decided to drop me a smile before I savored this mind fuel, the same very one which started the entire chain of fusion and fission in my emotional well being.

This was the very thing, the one "potent" cuppa caffine that altered my life forever.

Then having completed my mission, it was time I departed home before darkenss catches on...but going back down on the same snowy path, I found myself walking into a mental hallucination while staring at the diamond dust sprinkling thru the trees against the sun. My camera couldn't do anything to capture those nano flakes and this was the best I got, with the sun in a tiny star shaped.

Back into the car, I travelled on the all so familiar road back before deciding to do an insane stunt in the name of photography. Sometimes, the most beautiful pictures requires the photographer to venture into the most extreme corners of the earth, this was once instance which I could totally relate to that statement. The pavement on both sides of the bridge was covered in at least more than 1 meter of dirty slushy snow. To get the following shots, I sank into the snow despite not having appropriate gear and waddled thru with insane effort and the stares from every single driver passing that bridge. Fixed the tripod into the snow and fired away...A small portion of guts have to be credited to the amazing spirit that day for accomplishing the sacred delivery mission which even granted me an audience with the "queen". I am not that crazy as you think but if you could understand my thinking proccess or in the same plight as me at that time, you would probably have done the same.

These 2 are my favorite shot of the day...

Picture updates...

2010-02-14T10:52:00.021+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

More late picture updates since it's a known hassle to upload pictures to blogger. These are about 3 weeks old on Facebook but still eagering trying to gain my attention while sitting on the desktop.

This gentleman speaks amazing English for a Japanese and that's because he was abroad in the states for some good period of time. Met him at a party and found out that he is a DJ by the accronym Dice at a loacl town. Nice chap, laid back and funny which went pretty well with my eccentric nature. Oh yeah, that was his bday party sometime in late Jan and he is single and have a nice pension business in the snowy regions, run by his family.

These are my friends who are also hair stylist that are on the top of the awesome scale...and indeed the lighting would suggest that this was taken at Dice bday party as well.

Saturday, 6th Feb...was laying low to avoid monetary radar detection but nonetheless, the splendid weather shoved me outta the house for some pictures. The wintery white washout coupled with the strong chilly winds paved a perfect setting for some natural soft touch to it. Stucked the 5D on the tripod and waited for the shutter to trip while listening to the trembling collision of my teeth. My School framed...!

The path leading to my soon-to-be-goodbye-after-3-years school wasn't too bad either so snapped!

Couldn't help falling in love with the reflections behind the dirty school glass and there I wondered why the hell I couldn't and could never understand the strange person I see in every reflections.

Still on Saturday, went "shopping" for "eye candies" and found these 2 cute high school girls who agreed to have their pictures taken by some weird stranger. If chance permits, I might have more of them in the future...potential clients :p

When the rev roars

2010-02-12T08:37:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Somehow my hopes of obtaining the S15 seems to fade slowly each day...I seemed to have found a different form of diversion from brooding over the S15. Instead, the mix of snow, slush and sleet made way for a perfect environment to push the tiny manual Suzuki to the limits. Running without a RPM meter, I can only guage the appropriate gear by the sound of the rev and the speed. Numerous bends, uphills and downhills to practice and yesterday, was a public holiday here in Japan.

Went snowboarding in Shiga Kogen which wasn't a bad place but the rain days before literally destroyed the prestine snow. The grounds were hard and falling was a bad experience. But as the day proceeded, sleet and rain stormed in and the surface layer of snow began to soften up to create a slushy and slippery surface. I began to ride bigger and bigger with hopes of getting my moo neh's worth. Did some ramps, jumps but nothing too insane since today I still have to work. A good day of snowboarding indeed and heading home in the toy car was limited to speeds below 90km/h. Anything above that, the toy car would vibrate and handling would become problematic. Besides it was snowing so bad in the evening, everyone else was doing slower on the highways.

Sending my friend back, I took to the snow covered roads for a little fun. Entering a regular bend, making a left or right turn, etc. All I had to do was to down shift and brake lightly since braking a little harder would send the tail of the car sliding out. Yeah, down shift and brake lightly without the tail sliding, enter the bend at a comfortable speed. Once I hit the apex, I would floor the pedal and this would send the tail sliding out which initiated a drift. The amount of drift could simply be controlled by the amount of gas floored. Because traction was so bad, counter steering was relatively tricky but after a couple of tries, everyone should be able to do it. I was constantly keeping the gear in 2nd thru the corner drifts and playing with the amount of gas and counter steering. 3rd was not advisable at speeds below 40km/h since there simply wasn't enuff torque to lose traction. Then I found a nice wide dual carriage way in the back roads and did a couple of donuts before continuing the drift practice. Uphill was definitely easier to drift since downhill was more tricky and more proned to losing control due to gravity.

Well I am using a NA, un-tuned and under-powered manual 4WD car so drifting was relatively easy to manage. I wouldn't say the same for 2 litre turbo FRs since I have never driven one.

Cash, hard cold CASH!

2010-02-10T08:33:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Apparently my dreams for riding in a nice white S15 will not go thru anytime soon. That's because Japan has some pretty strict rules for granting loans to foreigners with an expiry date on their visa(s). Perfectly understandable since if we leave Japan, the banks will be in deep shit expanding more resources hunting down the boat jumpers.

There are of course alternatives like going to some Yuk(s) run financing company like Ah Long Pte Ltd in Singapore where they impose an exorbitant interest rate just to get your business done "legitimately". I was planing to finance the new baby thru a 2 year loan so that I don't tie up my limited pot of cash all in it but...from the way I see it now, there's probably no other alternative than to drop hard cold cash on the car, literally like a bag, a suitcase, a paper bag, etc of nicely bundled, nicely ironed CASH!

5 more weeks and I will be a free man...moving to my new place, getting all hyped up for my friends, my family to come visit me and of course starting a new life in a new job in photography. My dreams for the S15 may be dashed at the moment, I am not all destroyed...it's only a matter of storing up enuff power to Hadoken it all. We will see how it goes...

Days in schools especially Elementary schools are more like "Whatever" each week I visit them. Simply because I have almost no motivation at all to continue entertaining those long days when I know that a better field is already out there waiting for me. When I said, "I like black" and the Japanese teacher said, "I rike brack!", I didn't bother to correct him / her and I simply laughed louding inside me. I see nothing, absolutely nothing in even making an effort to change anything since the poor Japanese kids are simply too wild to learn any useful English. Look at it this way, these little brats reeked of urine, dirt and every other germ, virus, bacteria you can ever imagine, get together in an un-ventilated school with the heating running, pushed the same amount of dirt around each day pretending to clean the school and attend a 50 minute English classes 1 time a week. They are never gonna learn English no matter how hard they try and it's little wonder that the influenza virus spreads faster in Japanese schools.

Literally I give up try to improve or much less change anything in these Elementary schools. Of course the occasional unintended pun still cracks me up like the other day, the lesson was on cities in countries. One kid said, Tokyo, Japan and the other said Vancouver, Canada...then one smart ass kid screamed, "Bei Gi Na" which sounded crudely like a Japanese version of the female reproductive organ. Man, I swore I almost teared when I suppressed my laughter. He wanted to say Beijing China but somehow somewhere something went seriously wrong. That aside, like I have mentioned, I am pretty much done. I told the one teacher about the situation and told him the truth, that no matter how hard he can try or ANY of the Japanese teachers in the Elementary school can try, nothing's gonna change since nothing had changed in the last 50 years. He asked me what can be done to change and I told him specifically what MUST be done to change. He agreed but I could see the "impossible" look thru his eyes.

And today I come to school to experience a white out but it's not snow...it's irritating fog that resulted in the heavy rain overnight. Damn I am seriously being robbed of snow...all classes are cancelled today and tomolo's a holiday. I am really taking it easy while it last.

Gripes and hassles (not blad)

2010-02-03T12:36:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

I wished the gripes that I am experiencing are from a Hasselblad and not from just hassles. Apparently I took advantage of the strengthening Yen to do some online shopping and have some stuffs shipped over from US. And of course when these items arrive here in Japan, I am subjected to a certain Consumption Tax, which of course like the GST in SG, I am perfectly fine with it.

But before this strange ordeal (Edison Chen's famous quote), I really had no idea about how the whole Japanese Consumption Tax thing worked, much like I had absolutely no idea how the SG GST works as well. So far the story goes that I ran into some rather unexpected and unfortunate issues with the new items that I got from US. Might be a manufacturer's defect, might be something else but I DON'T know. Thru e-mail correspondences, I am granted an exchange for the product which to my utter horror before I mailed it out, have certain dubious Consumption Tax attached to it. T

From what I could dig from both the guys at the local post office and thru phone conversations with the girl at the sub-customs branch, it was clear that when an item FIRST comes into Japan, I will be levied the CONSUMPTION TAX which of course I had to pay to receive the item. But in the event of an exchange, I had to first get the item with the necessary invoices to a "nearby" office some 2 hour drive from my place, filled up some forms, produce my bank book and personal identification and wait an indefinite 3 weeks or more to have the paid tax refunded. Then when the replacement item of the exact nature be it size, length, weight, manufacturer's orgin, material, etc arrives, the VERY SAME CONSUMPTION TAX which I had paid, then get it refunded while waiting for it to be cleared, will be ONCE AGAIN levied on the replacement item and I have to pay it AGAIN before I can get the item.

Now, that's quite a lot of work, a lot of hassle, a lot of time, energy, man hours, man power WASTED to do the same thing over again! The policy is simply, stupid and ridiculous and basically ridicule the basis of productivity and efficiency. I am so sorry that you poor Japanese folks work longer than anyone else in the work but only to produce the same or sometimes less than everyone else.

Why the hell do I have to pay the same tax 2 times which I had to go thru the entire process to get the tax paid the first time refunded when we are clearly refering to the same item from the same manufacturer from the same shop? The documents the invoices the receits are all there...so I don't see any problem there. Anyway, I see it as a huge joke in the policy that they are using, even the girl at the sub-customs branch who spoke to me agreed that it's a hassle and very troublesome. It's no surprise that robots wasn't a part of them, it literally IS them since they do things without questioning, they just do it because they have to.

A good brand but an even better company

2010-02-03T09:12:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Arc Teryx was a relatively unknown brand to me not because I was ignorant but simply because I am only experiencing my 3rd and ever winter. Then I found out that their LEAF line was even better. So after massive research on limited resources available on the net, I bit the bullet (tasted pretty bad!) and went ahead to cash out 500 dollars from my account.

The Jacket arrived in good faith and was pretty neat in the overall construction so I decided to put it to the test. Nothing too crazy but just simply putting it on and see how it fared in the winter. Greasy smoke stains this jacket pretty bad much worse than regular cotton clothes and airing it for days simply would not work. So into the washine machine it went to rid the stench. Unfortunately, this supposedly "tough", "durable" jacket took the first casualty status in my entire collection of outer shells. Somehow cheaper jackets lasted 3 years before signs of severe wear could be found and this new 500 dollars jacket, *sigh* failed in less than a week.

Somehow a single thread, a nylon got hooked, entangled or God knows how while in the washing machine. And this nylon was not from the seams but off the face of the Gore Tex fabric, the MI270 to be exact which was supposed to be abrasion proof. Questionable, definitely about the "durable", "abrasion proof!" part as seen in the picture...

So I corresponded with the company which I had bought the jacket, US ELITE GEAR, as to what options do I have to make this jacket work. They advised me not to repair the jacket and sent them the pictures for accessment. Apparently, from what they told me, Arc Teryx LEAF do not have an exchange policy for jackets which are washed. I waited for almost 2 weeks and the staffs at US Elite Gear still did not have any answers from Arc Teryx. Then one of the top representative of US Elite Gear decided to take this matter into his own hands and offered me an exchange.

I was definitely a very happy customer since the way this situation was being handled was in every way to make a customer satisfied. Though there were other stores out there offering the very same jacket at a much lower price, I was glad I bought it from US Elite Gear since their after sales service was very very good.

I would seriously recommend getting high end military spec gear from them since their shipping is very fast and their committed effort in helping me resolve this issue was one of the best I had ever experienced. Sadly such customer oriented service would be more like a myth in good o' SG where the PRCs have overrun the years of uneffective "courtesy" and social graciousness campaigns. Thumbs up for US ELITE GEAR...

They are hibernating in the cold

2010-02-02T20:49:00.015+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

It has been almost 2 months into the new year and yet I haven't posted any pictures...not because I have not been taking them but they are all now hosted on different sites. And to my huge astonishment, GEOCITIES which used to be hosted on Yahoo's servers shut down without me know it. They didn't even send me an email to inform me...bloody idiots and utter shitty SLA that that practice. Now all my files are spoofed thanks to a bunch of deserved-to-be-shot capitalists scumbags!

All that angst aside, here are some of the pics...

Found a nice abandoned warehouse near my place and decided to play with the umbrella and 2 strobes. I was all alone so to do everything like checking the positioning of the strobes and umbrella, etc was quite a hassle. Takes time but can be done unless someone volunteers to be my model/assistant. Not bad I would say...and though I hate to admit, I used to be the ugly duckling but now I simply love to see myself time and again that is if I do manage to pull of shots that I like.

This one was shot while I was going home one day and I simply couldn't resist the full moon reflecting of the river below the bridge. The actual scene was much more beautiful than I could capture on the camera. Though I have ventured exclusively to framing people, time and again, I just couldn't resist such temptations.

A while back like in the second week of Jan where I said I was going to Hakuba, yeah these are the pictures of the little cottages in the snow forest like a page outta of the Grimm Bros' tales. I guessed the pictures deliver a more descriptive scene than the words.

And this was the road that leads to the sleepy forest in the Grimm Bros' tales...

My "new" RC toy car which battled 1 snow storm to get me to Hakuba. This menacing under 700cc full 5 speed manual monster was one fast 4WD toy car. No clutch slip was more than enuff to make up the slow 1st gear acceleration. Nonetheless, I have found a new home for this baby in the hands of a female friend in about 5 weeks time. The reason was because of THE STRAWBERRY!

The party on the Friday night at Hakuba was not bad at all and I decided to the 5D partnered with a F1.4 looking glass in extreme low light to see what I could get. People in a dark atmosphere just the way I like it.

Still on the Hakuba series, these are some of the most amazing crew from Australia though I only met them like only once. They are friends of N which of course was simply too amazing to begin with. Just had to expand the last remaining frames on the long overdue B/W film.

The Man, another fellow photographer, proposed to his lovely angel on the top of one of the ski resorts under a huge bell. Yeah I am envious but I give this man all the respect because he was, is and will be as awesome as he already is. His girl is now a proud owner of a huge polished piece of carbon.

So once again a good lens food for me, the lovely newly engaged love birds!

And before leaving, the last remaining memories of the fantastic Hakuba...

You really didn't see that coming didn't you?

2010-01-28T11:38:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Yesterday, I went to my company to give my Boss the answer whether I would continue for another year and also to collect my paycheck. The atmosphere was a bit awkward since I would have to tender in my resignation. And so she started off with the usual, "How are you, how's everything" before asking, "So what do you think? Will you continue?" My answers for the past 2 years was a reluctant "YES" to which I pre-assumed, she would most definitely have expected me to say "Yes" this time as well but with little hesistation and no remorse in my eyes, I looked at her straight in the eye and said, "No, I think this is it!"

I had been observing and would have expectated her reaction to be some how calm and true to reality, she was calm but there was a little sense of uneasiness in her eyes. And then she asked, "Why? Why not?" and I simply gave a crap of reasons just to pacify her. I would not discredit the fact that she was the one who hauled me into Japan and I had to be grateful to my benefactor but 3 years, it's more then enuff I think. Now it's the time to move on...to realise other dreams and to do other things. She did hinted to me last year when I re-contrated that I had better looked for greener pastures which was implanted deep in my head. However the turn of events like many schools, teachers and principals asking her to let me continue made her changed her stance to a much softer, subtle approach. She was hoping for me to continue so that she could save all that initial troublesome paper work or hassles. Well, I paid my dues and lived with the fact that I got no bonus or future prospect so the decision was in fact very clear.

Now that all was over, I am all hyped up about my new place, new job and new car of course. But still besides my friends, none of the kids, teachers or principals knew about my resignation. And of course besides FB and my friends, not even my boss knew about me already had a new job confirmation.

I will soon close this chapter of my initial epical journey here in Japan. But with that I will open another chapter to yet another adventure here in Japan and in case you are still wondering, nope I didn't grew outta fantasies, dragons, magicians or princesses, I still very much want my life to revolve around this imaginary utopian concept. Besides, my friends will be coming to check out me new place, new car, new etc., my brother and my family too. And word has it that there is a possibility of my entire family moving here in the future because SG is no longer livable since it's either Little India or Little Chinatown everywhere we go now.

Nonetheless, my new place has 2 bed rooms so anyone is more than welcome to crash but subjected to my screening proccess!

Nissan Silvia S15 Sweet Strawberry baby...I am eagerly anticipating your arrival each day....muacks muacks muacks!

10 years of dreaming and soon months of reality!

2010-01-27T08:34:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Hmmm I had always believed that dreams are very important for some people but even more important for those who not only dare to dream but to realise it. I live by my own "never stop dreaming" principle since some dunno how many years ago and it got me here today enjoy a different part of the world. Dreams are after all, a possible reality in the future if one never stop dreaming and continue to do whatever it takes to be 1 step closer.

Like a geeky bespectacled fat kid in the neighbourhood, I was very much the going-thru-puberty-displaced-but-dreamy 10 year old kid back then dreaming about lots of stuffs. I love cars, games, toys, guns, electronic stuffs and other geek related passion. But back then it was merely all child's play. Then when I reached 17, I was introduced to a taste of the real world, the REALITY and it was then I realised that the very first car I fell for was a dark grey Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IV on display at IMM. From there I learn more about the other machines and finally I found myself declaring my first and ever maiden love for a car, the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution V.

The bold styling of the car itself, the huge fenders, the huge lamps and spoilers made the Evolution V every boy's dream machine, well at least for me. It was a "Man's" car compared to other sleek but small feminine cars. For some good years I never wavered my love for the Evolution V, not even the mighty GTR could wet my appetite a bit.

Now cars, not RC cars, not Tomy cars, not Matchbox cars...these real drivable machines are always a huge fad but sadly in SG, the price of owning one would be a huge liability for many so the average kid like me could only drool and wish. Somehow I see you jumping to the conclusion that I am going to buy one but hey, you are definitely not wrong, I am indeed gonna buy myself a mean machine but not the Evolution V.

Sometime in the late 98 to 99 period, an extremely sleek machine with lines of elegance stole my heart. I swore it was an affair because I still very much loved the Evo V but each breath I took, each day that passed, I sank deeper into the depths of this new attraction. The eyes were like no other that I had ever seen, they were so full of grace and yet always communicating silently without the exchange of words. It was the beginning of an era where I could literally "feel" the soul of the cold metal coming alive. For 10 odd years, I lived my life in denial that such a fine machine was not possible to achieve but I didn't not gave up the dream of "feeling" one. I worked hard, dreamed harder and made a resolution that what ever I couldn't realise in SG, I would do it in the land of the origin, Japan.

10 years down the road, before I am 30, right at the 29 mark, I am gonna awake from this dreamy slumber and enter reality. The thoughts of owning one very soon is getting me all hyped up...it will possibly be the most expensive acquisition of my life beating the Canon 5D Mark II but once again, it will be another dream realised. Though I still have concerns about getting it but to fulfil 10 years of waiting is more than enuff to justify it...the last legend of the magnificent line of "S", the Strawberry will be mine!

The BEST present in more than a decade and half

2010-01-22T08:47:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Yesterday night, I almost kissed another man...a very important man indeed. No don't get me wrong because I am not turning in my hetrosexual status but rather, I was flying so high on cloud nine that I could literally die of over anxiety.

For 2 months, and then for 2 weeks and then finally for 2 days, I have waited, panicked, flipped and freaked myself out over some very important decisions that will etch a deep mark in my life's journey, a turning point to start a new year, a new life and possibly a new direction...A career change.

I had me second interview on my birthday which I told the "Bosses" that if I do get the job, it would be the best birthday present in nearly a decade and a half but they just smiled since that was definitely not a valid criteria for selecting a suitable candidate for the 3rd most prestigous resort in the entire Japan. Then I was told that the verdict will be out on the 20th but being a little sneaky, I did inquired casually about other candidates. The answer I got was nothing worth considering since nothing, not even numbers were mentioned so without knowing my rivals, I could only wait, pray and sulk!

The day came, the 20th day in the 1st month of the 2010 year...I was anxious and very desperate since the application at Tokyo fell thru weeks prior. This was the ONLY other channel of hope I had and I really did not want this one to fall thru as well. A very nice gentleman once said to me that how low are you willing to stoop will determine how desperate you are which miraculously worked once for me. I thought I might wanna try to employ the same tactic again this time round given the dire straits I was in. It worked...and for the first time I shall reveal it for all.
I knew I had to show "them" how much I wanted the job since everyone has skills and creativity. The only way to set myself apart from everyone else was to ask myself a very simple question, "Why should they pick you?" And the magical answer to that question is simply ATTITUDE!

You see I was so damn desperate to get the job, I called the "man-in-charge" 4 to 6 times on both his cellphone and office phone since it was already 1600 hours on the 20th and still I wasn't getting any news or updates. It was simply a sign of how badly I had wanted the job, how noisy I could get and how desperate I was. I wouldn't say extreme but just enoungh to get the point across...and he called back to inform me that he was in the midst of a very important meeting and would get back to me later in the night. Still I wasn't very convinced but I could hear the confidence in his voice that my rather absurd attitude of desperation was recognised. He did called back informing me to meet me on the 21st which was yesterday to discuss further details like salary, requirements, dos and don'ts, etc but I wasn't the least bit interested because all I did was to acknowledged EVERYTHING he said ending the conversation with a simply, "In other words, did I or did I not get the job?" and his reply was "Come here tomolo and I will tell you!"

Man to be hanging in mid air almost touching heaven and yet not quite, to be so far yet so near, to almost die but live thru it, the journey to the in-between wasn't the most confortable experience if you know what I mean. 21st, I went to work as usual and then drove to the "meeting place" Surprisingly it was closed for some reason and there were no one in sight except 3 people discussing some rather important issues I presumed. There I called the "man" who told me to wait for approximately 10 minutes which seemed like 10 years!

When he finally appeared, we sat and he asked questions about my salary, benefits, expectations and told me other trivial details pertaining to the position which though went into my head, I was expecting something else, an answer to my epical question. Then he showed me around, the halls, the rooms, the gowns, the photo samples, and then finally before the entire 30 minite entourage ended, I asked him, "So in other words, did I or did I not get the job?" which the bespectacled, mysterious man answered with a very warming smile in the not so cold winter, "Welome aboard!"

I could feel the muscles in my face move in a pre-determined position and crammed there...a smile was all that I could display and I almost, literally almost hugged and kissed him but in the end, I didn't realise that vision in my head so I simply shook his hand with an affirming grim and bowed and smiled and said "DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASHITA!" like 10 times before walking to the car. In about a decade and a half, this had to be one of the most memorable moments of my life but the truth is that this is only the beginning...

April is when all this magic begins...because I never stopped believing!

The Gods have failed...

2010-01-21T08:55:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

In a huge twist of total mental entanglement, I find myself waking up this morning to utter disappointment. Winter is a season where snow is a usual phenomenom but sadly this is not the case because here, it seems like snow is more of a uncertain blessing. Rain was all I got from last night...I mean rain is fine for me in other seasons but rain in winter is probably the most dreaded experience. Temperatures rose to a high of 8 degrees which makes me feel like this is summer during the rainy days. What a load of crap and a huge waste of precious time...the Gods really have been slacking too much or is it that they have forgotten this place?

Yesterday I waited an entire day for the verdict of my much anticipated job placement but got no updates till I called the "Boss" a oouple of times to find him really busy and not able to answer or return my call. Then I tried one last time in a desperate attempt to irritate the shit outta him that I really really want the job and he returned my call while he was in the midst of a meeting to decide my fate. Guess like my desperation paid off...

Unfortunately I wasn't given an answer since the verdict was not reached but he did called me sometime late in the night like 7pm-ish to confirm a meeting with me today about various issues. Now I am not really sure what this could mean because this is Japan but if it was in SG, I swore it would be a confirmation of the job. So nothing much I can do but to pay him a visit later this evening before I update anything concrete.

Nonetheless, I crashed a "house" party, literally house music party last night. The music was good but the fusion of other genres instead of pure house was a little disappointing since I wasn't a fan of messy garbage. Meet up with my local cronies and met their cronies. The 35 year old married Japanese men weren't too impressive since the conversation with them was nothing more than the usual gutter filth they could squeeze outta their shallow minds. But they have rather awesome jobs...one flies around the world hunting for good coffee beans to bring to Japan which I told him regular Japanese coffee was like water and he totally agreed. The other ran a family run business dishing out German sausages, cuisine infused with Japanese influences. But the "star" which I was having some of the most inspiration conversation with was a Nepalese who look no different than the local SG Malay counterparts except the wear and tear of age.

Ever since I found out about the place Patan, I had always wanted to visit it and maybe around other parts like Kathmandu, Nepal or Tibet but the lack of resources held me back for a while. Now this is a local that I was talking to and he was more than happy to give me a personal guided tour when I asked him about it. I mean who wouldn't if a strange geeky face pretty boy foreigner showed interested in your homie country...I would. Got his number and started mingling around with the other folks in the lounge. That was about it before heading home at 0030 in the morning.

A white blast to a new start...

2010-01-19T09:07:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

On the 9th of Jan, a friend from Tokyo brought her friends to my prefecture for snowboarding and I proudly crashed it at a different ski resort, a first for me. Though I fell like a log when I got home, it was one of those really nice boarding sessions which kept me intact.

Last week, on the night of the 15th, I drove my tiny rocket to yet another fantastic ski resort (in Hakuba) to crash a party. Initially, I had planned to snooze on Friday night to 3 am and drive up to Hakuba but a phone call came in to inform me of a party on Friday night coincidentally in Hakuba as well so I packed my bags, my bed and my gear, loaded them into the car and drove off in darkness. The road up to Hakuba was MIRACULOUSLY AMAZING because it was snowing so bad, everywhere was white, visibility was reduced, traction was negligible...Then I arrived in one of the most beautiful winter wonderland in Japan to crash a party in a little village like a page out of the Grimm's Brothers' fables with cottage houses and fire pits in the snowy forrest.

I recharged myself with some decent English Ale, more sweetened cocktails and finally at 3 am on Saturday morning, I sneaked into my tiny car covered in snow to catch my favorite Z monster. 3 hours later, the alarm woke me up and I was badly shaken in my frozen car by a huge snow shoveling machine. I opened the door only to find a 1.5 metre tall red spinning blade beside me belong to the massive snow shoveling monster. Fired up the car and drove with my head out the window since the windscreen was all frozen a safer location. Washed up and downed a can of coffee before making my way to meet my buddy from Osaka.

Was surprised to find her and a fraction of her crew already at the designated meeting place 7 in the morning. By 9.30am (damn that was really late), I was tearing up the slopes in one of the most magnificient white faced Alps of the Japanese glory. I did took some pictures with my toy camera loaded with a trial roll of color film. Will see how they turn out. Met more crew after lunch and found myself another snowboarding buddy who would trail me in the powder..sweet. Ended the Saturday with one guy proposing to his girl under a huge bell on top of the ski resort in all that snow making me envious and jealous. Dinner was mainly revolving around the 1 diamond ring on her finger and gossiping non stop about everything under the sun. Sunday was dead tired as well but leaving that fairy tale land was definitely a sad experience.

2 days into this new week and I have confirmation that my watch will be arriving soon. Still waiting for further instructions on what to do with my jacket which is lying there...bloody waste of money if I can't use it. Tomolo will be JUDGEMENT DAY when the verdict of my job interview be released. I am afraid...very...but what else more could I do but to wait and suck my thumb. God bless and God speed and God, where ever you are, who ever you are please acknowledge my repentence and apologies and listen to my silent mental prayers for once, let me have this job and let me keep it as a career.

My Santa's name is Moo Neh

2010-01-15T11:27:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Last year I dropped a huge bomb over the New Year acquiring the EF35L lens and this year I spreaded the funds over 4 items and not exactly all on the same day but rather in the same month. Bought meself a new jacket since the current one which had been keeping me warm for 3 years had started to flake on the inner lining. Sadly the one I bought which was supposed to be extremely durable and battle tested ran into a bit of an issue recently. Let's go through the items...

1. Arc'Teryx LEAF Alpha Jacket

I did not know about this brand since I do not search actively for winter gear which I only utilize for a short span of 3 months or so. But when I found that Arc'Teryx was actually a brand in pioneering in many of the fabulous designs on modern day jackets, I began to dig further. Then I found the LEAF line which caters to military and law enforcement personnels rather than civilian markets. What this means is that you cannot buy them in your local Arc'Teryx store and have to be specially obtained thru other channels since this line of clothing is not being sold to civilian. Hard and troublesome but not impossible if you do your homework.

The jacket arrived in good faith after being imposed a tax by the Japanese Customs (Shame on you people after taxing me so much!). Very well made (in Canada) as compared to the other high end consumer Arc'Teryx jackets which are made in PRC. Trying it for the first time, the jacket felt thin and very light which made me wonder if it's really that durable. Overall it's a fantastic jacket less the prominient logos, colors and designs of regular off-the-store stuffs. The only complain I have is that the length is longer in the back to cover the butt and shorter in the front covering above the belt line. No other complains.

The jacket itself will NOT keep you warm and have to be layered with inner layers like a fleece jacket, base layer, etc. but being a very light jacket and water/wind proof, amazing I would say. The only headache came when I visited a local diner in Japan and the grease odour stained this jacket so bad I had to wash it after wearing it only like 3 times. According to the Gore Tex/Arc'Teryx sites' care/maintainence instructions, I washed the jacket in a regular washing machine with regular powdered washing agent. Then I air dry it only to find brown water stains near the lower part of the jacket and the biggest cardiac arrest experience was a single loop loose nylon appearing on THE FACE FABRIC itself...not the stitches in the seams but THE FACE FABRIC ITSELF. My gosh, what on EARTH just happened? How is that even possible, what actually caught a nano diameter nylon thread and pulled it from the FACE FABRIC? I flipped and panic but I am in the midst of finding a remedy for the shocking situation.

2. Suzuki Alto

Nice manual car for all my Initial D needs but lacks a rev meter, proper tuning and parts. Bought it at a fantastic price which could only bag you a nice second Recardo seat in Singapore. A bit on the light side so have to be careful about floating around a bend. But given the current situation, I don't think I would want to upgrade to a 2.0 turbo monster like the sleek S15 or the monster WRX or EVO. Zipping thru tiny roads with relatively little effort but on straights, I am better off walking.

3. Toy Camera

While the name Holga has been around and very popular for toy cameras, I wasn't all sold to it. I waited and contemplated for a long while before I found what I wanted. A toy camera in disguise and not obnoxious and screaming to be robbed. Will receive it by today and try it out over the weekend, and a party mid week next week. Fixed aperture and shutter speed which seems all awkward to me but partnered with an amazing film, magic awaits me.

4. Casio G Shock GW-5000B 1JR

Apparently there are a lot of discussions about the classic squarish G Shock but sadly, like all major corporations, out sourcing and manufacturing their products would significantly lower the cost of production and increase profits. The classic G Shocks are encased in a screw back type of chassis dubbed "Tuna Can" which supposedly are stronger (might just be a rumor). Somewhere in the late 1990s, G Shocks are no longer manufactured in such a fashion and instead, a stamped metal plate was held by 4 screws against a rubber O ring to seal the gasket from water. Though I have not heard much complains about a design flaw, the prices of G Shocks are much cheaper in the newer designs and almost all were made NOT in JAPAN. While most people would prefer electronics or precision instrument to be made in Japan since PRC stuffs might blow up in your face or kill you by poisoning, the new batch of G Shock(s) are all made outside Japan.

And then in May 2009, the limited Japan on release GW-5000B 1JR was secretly revealed thru various sources but not stealthy to keep out the ever preying eyes of the G fanatics. A quick search on the official G Shock Japanese site did not have this particular model listed though this black beauty can be found using the product search function. The regular model the GW-5000 is listed on the website for a slightly less price. This model apparently bear strong resemblence to the original first G Shock but with newer technologies. The "Tuna Can" screw back design was re-introduced with Diamond Like Coating (DLC), Solar Charger which means no need to change batts, wave ceptor which calibrates the time using atomic technology thru any of the 6 radio wave stations around the world, a reverse white on black display and lastly, it is proudly made in Japan.

Though most comments on the net supports the claim that the price is not justifiable for a G Shock which is supposed to be an affordable but tough watch as compared to those made outside Japan at a much lower price. But paying a premium for a MADE in JAPAN is all mental but works for me to sleep well at night.

Memories revisited

2010-01-15T08:29:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

In my entire history of being alive, I have only shed tear for a single machine, in fact a car. That was because it was the first car that I had driven since obtaining a licence and it was this very car that shared my woes, my tears, my girl, my adrenalin, my everything. When I was happy, or with a sweet girl, or crying my heart out over a broken relationship, or tearing up tarmac, smoking other wannabe amateur racers, etc., this amazing black beauty was always there silently roaring to my every emotion or action. In fact, not once had she given up on me even when I abused her in every way I can. And I am very sure those who had shared some memories with her would not detest to the sheer demeanor of her graceful beauty. It was this very beauty that propelled me to have a decent mastery of controlling a manual beast.

Along the years, somehow those vivid street burning days seems to wane of like a flicking flame fighting hard to stay "alive" but in the very end, all became nothing but memories. As much as I would like to push the same adrenalin out of an automatic vehicle, it was just not the same feeling as having a full control over the clutch and the high revs of the engine each time a corner was entered.

On the 10th of January in the 2010 year, a little spark was all it took to re-ignite this sleeping demon of the night. Tiny but moderately fast for speeds below 80km/h was a white Suzuki with full manual control. I didn't really push this toy car until last night when I was rushing for nothing. 2 cars were in front of me in the dimly lit back roads. Immediately in front was another small 600cc car and in front of it was a Nissan March coupe. The small Kei in front of me was crawling at 40 odd when I decided to pass it when the chance came...surprisingly, the driver took it as an insult I presumed and very soon he was kissing my ass. I really had no intention of pissing off anyone but being sandwich between 2 cars, I could only speed up a little but this action soon proved to be a death wish. The March in front took it as an invitation to unleash the beast and the very next few moments, I could see the distance increasing from the tail of the March.

Clutch in, shift down in less than 1 sec was all that it took to hear the roar of my mini Suzuki. Glancing into the rear view mirror through the frosted rear windscreen, the incandescent headlamps appeared smaller and smaller and finally darkness as I entered a bend. The March with a higher engine capacity was obviously fast on the straights...but the lightness of the Suzuki would edge in on the corners. After a few bends, bumps and slopes, the Suzuki spat out the flaws in my face. The suspension was hard but not properly set up which makes felt like the car was about to break into pieces each time I hit an uneven surface, the brakes pads was fading because of the constant high speed hard braking, the car was in fact very light and very hard to control at high speeds since each bump would send the car "floating". With no RPM meter in the car, I could not gauge the red line except by gut feel and thru the speedometer. And no matter how hard I tried, the car did not have enuff power to overtake the March so I was left trailing it all the way to the end.

What turned out to be an unprovoked overtake soon turned into a adrenalin pumping, tarmac burning, asphalt tearing sensation all the way home. Slowly, I felt the magic coming back slowing and realise the flaws of the vehicle and how to overcome it. I simply cannot find enuff words in the English context to dictate the experience but to those who had ridden in the magical black beauty would know exactly what I am talking about. Funny though but I seem to have a kick outta of tearing up farm roads in darkness with little AAA powered toy cars. Nonetheless, I was really glad that what was thought to be lost was simply sleeping awaiting to be awoken with a little polishing. With snow and icy roads for about 2 more months, a manual 4WD toy car makes a good toy in the cold.

Sweet!

Into the 1st month of the 2010 year

2010-01-13T08:27:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

13 days late is how I see it but nonetheless here are the updates for this brand new year. For the past 2 years, I have spent almost every new year's eve, new year and days after in Tokyo possibly in Roppongi. While Japan is a huge country, Roppongi is not a place ranked high in my list of favorite places simply because the American troops from Okinawa will throng the streets and make it a shitty place to be in during festive seasons. Brawls, fights, broken glasses, blood, police, etc are just some filth from those sewer crawling trash littering everywhere. But sadly, I have great friends who like to frequent Roppongi and I would usually tag along suppressing my angst.

This time round, the crossover from 2009 to 2010 was more subtle for me since there were many factors involved. I had initially planned to take a nice trip to Patan but the last minute decision proved fruitless since the VISA, accomodation would need to be prepared months prior. In the end, I was in a local small pub cum restaurant counting down with the not so many people to embrace the new year. Boring, uneventful and outright stupid are just some words I can think of to reflect the decision that I had made. You see, I have my concerns for not spurging on a trip down to Tokyo to deprive myself of sleep. Since I had a rather important second interview for a job that I would very much want to pursue in April, I needed to stash away decent funds for a car, a new crash pad and possibly the other misc items like washing machines and microwave. Though it may seem like a few items, trust me they do rob me of decent cash.

The only consolation that I got 1 am in the morning on the 1st day of 2010 was that it was cold and there were some snow on the streets but that was it. I would had been much better off sleeping in my warm bed but...nevermind.

Then the holidays ended and I headed back to work on Thursday and Friday only to find the 1st week of January fully packed with events. On the 9th, I drove up to Madarao Ski Resort to meet up with a very sweet friend from Tokyo to do some snowboarding. While I had always been to the other side of the mountain in Nozawa to do my boarding sessions, Madarao wasn't bad at all but the runs were a little short. Nonetheless I was really glad to be able to see a familiar sweet face since the last time we met was in October last year.

Sunday the 10th, the day the SHAKEN or a certificate to own a car in Japan, much like the COE in Singapore was due. I drove the silver Honda Accord en route to meet my friend for the deal. Half way, the car gave up on me...first the car wobbled like the engine was giving up, next there was no response from the throttle and then before God knows what would have happened, I let the car glide and maneuvered it off the main road into some parking lot. Caution lights popped up and thinking that the battery was flat, I off the ignition and tried to reaffirm my conclusion by restarting the car. BAD BAD decision since offing the ignition was the very last thing that kept the engine running. Now the car simply would not start no matter what...and after getting some help from a nearby gas station, I was told that either the fuel was too low for the fuel pump to draw or the spark plugs was outta lightning. Either way the Accord was literally dead.

Thank God for being blessed with amazing friends and he came down in a huge vehicle carrier and together we hauled the car up and back to the scrap yard. Here I adjusted myself to the new mini AAA powered car, a white Suzuki Alto. A "Kei" catergory car here in Japan with a tiny engine capacity of less than 700cc but hey, it's a FULL 5 SPEED MANUAL little monster. Soon I find myself finishing up the documents needed for the car, had dinner with my friends and headed to another local bar for a pre-birthday night out. Little to my surprised this usually quiet bar was packed on a Sunday night. I was thrilled but in my head, the only thing I was concerned was the interview the next day. Nonetheless, it was a rather noisy night to bring in my birthday with tequila shots for everyone. After that I sped home in my little monster only to find out that there wasn't any lag from quick shifting the clutch...WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Monday, 11th January in the year of 2010 was a public holiday here in Japan which commemerates the coming of age. Literally what this means is that all the 20 year olds have an option to choose to go thru a ceremony to officially certify that they are now an adult. But it was also me birthday... :p

Once again in the late morning, I fly thru traffic to get to my friend's scrap yard to salvage parts to tune up me tiny little monster. First was the licence plate covers, etc. and next was the radio antennae which needed to be replaced since the broken one wouldn't pick up any signal which means no music! All that trinkling and tuning took a little too long and now I had 2 hours to complete a stunt which was to get back home that would take about an hour, get changed into a suit and make my way to the interview venue which is also an hour away. I made it home in 57 minutes in the otherwise impossible traffic, changed into my suit less the tie and flew to the place of interview in again 58 odd minutes with the car running on little or no fuel at all. It was an almost impossible feat since the roads were snowy, slippery and curvy complete with irritating crawling traffic. I hardly had anytime to breathe or think as the moment I stopped the car, I was dashing to the scheduled meeting place.

This interview was what I had anticipated all these while but the insane turn of events made me flipped on the journey there. My pulse was racing along with the car, my breathing was irregular but heavey and fast and my mind was in a complete state of messed up circuitry. I was not sure how I had fared in the interview in the eyes of the interviewers but to me, I think I screwed it up bad. I don't know, I really don't but somehow the only thing I can do now is to hope, wait and pray. Let's just see shall we...

A lot of missed calls, messages, etc for me birthday and for that I am really thankful for all you people which are not even 5% of the 300 odd people on my friends' list. Sadly but true, many of them are simply statistics for show unless proven wrong which is highly unlikely. I didn't have any cakes or candles but if I had to wish, it would be to get the job and in the event that I do get it, it would possible be the best birthday present ever...

Nothing much I can do now except wait but I will be heading up to Hakuba this weekend for more snowboarding with friends from Osaka. Then on the fateful 20th, the day of judgement, there is a party going on as well. If I get the job, the party would be splendid but if not, a consolation party perhaps?

Co-workers' wedding

2009-12-24T10:55:00.000+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

I have always been a huge fan of traditional Japanese weddings and being here for almost 3 years, I had attended 3 major Traditional Japanese weddings and 2 regular Japanese weddings. The huge difference is whether I get to see a SGD$3,000 per day rental of Kimono or the typical western white gown.

Of course I would want to see the exclusive Japanese kimono since the white gowns can be seen in SG as well. Here are some of the wedding pics of 2 of my co-workers. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous and mind you, I am not the main camera dude, like always, I scrape the crumbs on the plate... ;p

Mr K.

And after I got the 5DMk2 for my brother's wedding in Aug, I came back in Oct to crash another TRADITIONAL wedding of another fellow co-worker. Once again, I am scraping the bits...someday, someday my big break will come! In this particular wedding, the pictures might have a slightly different feel and approach simply because of the influence of Master B's style and inspiration. And of course I had the opportunity to fiddle around with a new camera, a new challenge and a new perspective.

Miss O

The last farewell...

2009-12-24T09:00:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

With only a good couple of days left to close yet another year, I have to make some final adjustments to venture into the new one. Sadly Christmas is just another day here in Japan where every Japanese knows the day, the name, the presents but no one really celebrates it since it's not a public holiday to begin with. 2 prior, 23rd of Dec was actually a public holiday, the Emperor's Birthday but with just one day sandwiched like ham between the regular work days, I don't suppose much can be done.

2009 will end in a rather cold, dark fashion for me contrasting the past Tokyo partying year ends. The reasons are simple, I have to make plans for next year which will mark a rather important feat in my life. Rolling in Jan, on the 11th, which so happens to be a public holiday in Japan, (Coming of Age Day), and so happens to be my birthday as well, I have a second interview scheduled. Though I cannot ignore the fact that I am childishly employing the thought of some supernatural powers on my birthday to pull a miracle off for the interview, I have to embrace it like an adult, like a professional.

Yes in case you missed it, I am pretty much over entertaining kids here. 3 years, things have changed and so have I, the enthusiasm, the fire, the energy back then had all vanished and I really do not enjoy what I am doing. To err on the safe side, I would opt for a new environment, a new direction, a new passion, a new path for me to see a decent future in. It's only when one truly enjoys what he or she is doing can perfection be achieved. I cannot agree more that the money's good, the holidays are fantastic and the work itself is more like getting paid to do nothing but all these at the expense at me becoming more lazy and more paranoid. I need a more challenging job, something with a deeper meaning and significance, something that would be able to leave a legacy if possible. I want to be able to grow with it if not in it and all these I cannot envision in my current job.

Currently there are 2 positions that I am vying for, 1 in Tokyo which I would give it full priorty and the second one some 45 minutes where I live now. Both positions are in the same industry and of course related to photograhy but each have it's own merits. Here's my situation...

1. If I get the opening in Tokyo, I would have a new environment to work with. More luck in love perhaps, more opportunities, more shopping, more vibrant life, more friends, etc. The downside would be that I have a smaller house, higher rent, no more personal car, slave to public transport, no snow, no mountains, no fresh air, no waking up to white fluffy flakes, not much savings, no more nature, etc.

2. If I get the opening near my place, I would have more snow, be able to buy a car of my dreams, a nice house, white winter, personal space, quiet thinking space, nature, mountains, snowboarding, more savings, etc. But at the expense of no life, no partyings, no luck in love, no city life, no conveient shopping, no toys, no games, not much human contact, etc.

Options, decisions and choices flood me and very soon I have to make a decision and stick to it. Since I grew up in a big city, I am obviously leaning towards option 1. Because I would definitely want more friends and I am willing to trade the snow which I have come to love so much for it. So no huge ass parties in Tokyo this time round but more savings and more subtle parties to prepare for the huge change next year. Somehow it's always the ending of the year that makes the entire year worth it rather than the beginning of a new one...quite simply, I do not wish to grow old.

So if you were me presented with these 2 options, I am really curious, which one would most pick?

Of course there are other issues on hand but right now, I am only pinning my every hope, energy and sacred beliefs on the career change. Everything else can wait after I make the big leap of faith. Closing an otherwise eventful, boring, spectacular or epic year is like ending an otherwise perfect relationship. There are so many things to think about, so many issues to consider, so many decisions to make, so many faces to answer to and so much more directions to venture into and I just wished I could stop everything and relive the entire year again not changing anything. Somwhow when an end is placed to mark a new beginning, people in general begin to realize the oblivion, make changes, resolutions, etc. which would otherwise be taken for granted. Herd instincts perhaps and to be human perhaps...and because we all have free choices, it's the consequences that follows that will ultimately affect out decisions. And because we are attached to so many elements both physically and mentally that we care so much as to how to start a new beginning. If we have nothing to lose, nothing to attached to, nothing to look forward to, absolutely nothing in our lives, like emptiness in nirvana, would we still make significance of the current year and step into the new one?

I seriously doubt it.

Prophets and Prophecies

2009-12-15T08:48:00.005+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Over the weekend, some strange things happened and though I tried to interpret what the hell just happened, I couldn't even scrape the the shavings off the sides.

What started out as an ordinary Saturday evening with some concept photography going on at a rather spectacular rocket place, things took a sour end towards the dawn of Sunday morning. After the photography session, I headed to a party with a friend, a fellow photographer enthusiast. The theme of the party would send most guys losing rational logical reasoning due to it's erotic nature, but sadly, I wasn't impressed.

The venue where the party would be held was definitely commendable where the dim lights, the arrangement of the furniture and the ambience blended in perfectly to resemble a neat club type of theme. One of the better grounds I would visit again since the rest were simply shady, crammed and smog filled. 2 portable but sturdily positioned steel poles were in placed cordoned off by chain barriers. The theme for the night or rather the main attraction of this party was, pole dancing. As the hordes of crowds roll in, mostly pathetic males with pea sized brains, I began to "study" the place, the people, etc like a potential psychopath. Unfortunately, only a small fraction, rather, like only less than 5 of the female "population" there cleared my strigent criteria for lens food. I brought both film and digital for the event not for the fanciful pole dancing but more for the candid crowd shots.

Alas, as the night went on, the show soon started with 4 scantily clad ladies from Tokyo to appease the crowd. I took a little while to appreciate the huge contrast in the reactions of the males from the females, much to my expectations, I was right on. Except the bartenders, the DJs dishing out some really good tunes, majority of the guys were completely smittened by the sex appeal of those ladies. The female form in the least amount of legally acceptable modesty paraded and then slithered on the cold steel poles defying gravity. Out of the 4 ladies, at least for me, only 1 had a good sex appeal not because of the skimpy undergarments but because of the way she moves and how she perfectly excuted a "ceiling walk" that the rest did not. I did enjoy the show since these ladies were awesome in pulling off some incredible moves. Not only did they opened my vision to pole dancing, I have so much more respect to the art itself than the typical erotic nature. *Clap* *Clap* *Clap* Nothing like I have seen back home in SG.

In between the little pockets of dancing, I would glance around to observe the candid crowd. Then I spotted a presumably "pro" photographer with his twin Nikon setups with flash. Not sure if it was coincidence, the bespectacled, slightly plump middled aged man going thru life crisis type of greasy bloke in the bad fashion sense seems to be THE kinda photographer that I see at events where hot ladies in skimpy clothes were concerned. Dang...I was beginning to wonder if photography as a job would put me along the same lines with him in years ahead. Shit ass scary even thinking about it. While I was concentraing to frame the exotic dances in an artistic way, peeking into this particular "pro's" LCD showed a different perspective, the kind that only featured strategic bits of the female form in adult publications. I shook my head in disgust and thought, "Where are the superior intellectually challenged species where I can share a good piece of conversation?"

With all that action coming to and end for the 1st round, with round 2 and 3 later into the young morning of Sunday, I took a little breather outside at the parking lot. I looked up and admired the still of the night and saw 2 shooting stars within 30 seconds apart. I really wondered what that really meant...a sign from God waiting to be deciphered? It was here where I found a friend of mine and someone whom had been introduced to me earlier discussing some intense issues. Friend H was drunk and was gonna head back home in a "Daiko", H was worried about K who was also apparently drunk so H "entrusted" K in my care. I wasn't sure what to do since I only met K like an hour ago thru H. So I seeked the help of an aquaintance, KC. While the 3 of us were discussing what to do with K who was badly intoxicated with alcohol, no one bothered K who was shivering in the parking lot. It was freezing out there like a good 2 to 3 degrees but no one offered a jacket or lifted a finger to K who was only in a thin business jacket with no insulation whatsoever. I went back to my car, grabbed my 1 and only winter jacket and offered it to K whom had no idea what was going on. H took off so KC and I were disussing what to do with K. Since H left K in my trust before taking off and I asked KC to help out, KC took K into K's car and told me to wait. I barely know KC but what seems like K was clearly "ok" talking to KC, I told KC that I would go back into the party to wait since it was freezing cold outside. I SPECIFICALLY told him to inform me if he decides to move out since H left K in my care, I deemed responsible for it.

When I came back out into the carpark lot some 15 minutes later, K's car was gone, presumably with K and KC in it! "FUCKED!" I said as the situation was now becoming rather tense. Firstly, K had my jacket presumably with my house keys in it though it was my fault for being nice and offering my jacket without checking. Second, K was very intoxicated and I barely know KC. "Oh boy this is getting bad" I thought as I filled my fist with rage ready to strike KC for ignoring my specifically simple instructions. If something bad were to happen, I really don't know how to explain to H who entrusted me with such a simple task and yet I screwed it up. I called KC and the line went thru but was clearly cut deliberately halfway. Then the phone was off and I couldn't get thru...I was desperate and I went to seek others who might know K's no. They called and the phone was again off...I began to panic and feared the worst as the trust for KC's aquaintance began to crumble like tumbling blocks.

Together with 2 other fellow friends, we waited and called them on irregular intervals, poked around others who where sleeping in their beds 2am in the morning for information but to no avail. Though not violent by nature, I could feel my tolerance vanishing and angst boiling. In the end after like 90 minutes had passed, I took off in my car afraid that I would really rain punches on KC. I was back outside my house and THANK GOD I had my house key in the car instead of the jacket but still I was raging like a demon. 4am in the morning, KC called me and apologized for what had happened. He said K was feeling bad and he took K for a drive and had off the phone since it was late and he was discussing some pretty serious issues with K. Like I cared anyway but they were back at the parking lot with my jacket. Not to mess the shitty situation any further, I opted to meet KC the next day for my jacket. Then K called me and apologised for everything but seeing that K was fine and everything was just my wild imagination, I chose to let everything rest despite still being pissed.

Shooting stars, misunderstandings, angst, apologies, etc...with 2009 coming to an end, what exactly is the universe or God trying to relate? I am not a prophet so what does all these really mean? A test? An omen? WHAT?!

Have been plagued by misfortunes recently, both me and people around me...does it really mean that if I do not die in a misfortune, I will be very lucky? I doubt so in such superstitions...I look forward to a new beginning, a new dawn, a new direction...

Destiny in a white envelope

2009-12-09T10:07:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

A while ago, I did some demo class and because of some screw ups, I actually did 2 on the same day back to back with only 15 minutes grace between them. Surprisingly to many other Japanese and English teachers and distinguished guests who came that day, most marveled and were impressed by the classess. Even the most respected professor commented that that was probably the best demo class he has ever seen. I really beg to differ since my views were completely different.

Honestly, I felt that it was pretty much like a regular class except with a little more content. There were no rehearsal before hand and that the class went on like a usual class. The fact that many people were surprised was that the English level of the students were in fact far greater than the those of other schools. And now many others want to replicate the demo class.

So here's the real deal.

It takes years and crucial bonding with the students to get to such a level. Jumping straight into it would be a definite failure from the start. Demo class are meant to be a learning experience so replicating it a 100% is ridiculous. One have to digest a good influence, understand it completely and then tailor it to suit the specific needs of their own class. Throwing back 100% to the students without understanding the concept and the gist of an otherwise great demo class is clearly an insult to the class itself. Everyone is different so specially tailored classes are the only way to yield results. Yes, being impressed and wanting to do like wise is a healthy step forward but crucial planning is equally essential as well to incorporate the essence than blindly copying.

Sadly, I have since lost a relatively huge chunk of that once vibrant teaching spirit. I have seen and experience enough to conclude that only those willing to improve will. Each time a rebellious or defiant kid wrecks havoc, each time an introvert, unpopular kid rejects the lessons, the Japanese teachers will feed me with reasons like "Oh, he has family problems...", "Oh, her parents are divorce...", "Oh he has some mental problems..." which of course are all valid reasons. I do not wish to know and have absolutely no interest or whatsoever in these reasons and I really do not give a damn. I want to know what can be done, I want to know a solution and I want to know how can things change. Knowing these valid but redundant reasons not only waste my precious time, nothing's gonna change anyway. If there are indeed problems, go seek proper medical attention or consult a psychiatrist which I am none of the above.

Japanese teachers are either too soft and give too many reaons to get crucial things done or too extreme and let their fists do most reasoning. Either way are equally bad to kids who are maturing from 6 to 12. This crucial period will determine their aggression when they hit adolescence years. Besides that, they have no incentive to study since all the kids graduate whether they pass or fail the tests. I tried but in the end, like MJ, I have to throw in the white towel and say, "This is it!". I am most willing to forsake the numerous holidays, decent paycheck to pitch my wares elsewhere where there are more meaningful reasons to continue a job. In private English schools, people pay good money because they really want to learn whereas in public schools, I have to entertain those who really want to learn/study and those who are just there to waste their youth, time, energy and be a nusiance to the rest.

Even as a wedding photographer, I see myself rendering a service to one of the oldest rituals in the passage of lives to preserve the unison of a couple into eternity. Indeed meaningful but not as noble as saving lives like a doctor yet still much better than donning a clown suit and entertaining pesky kids. I do love kids and would really want to impart to them a skill which have been lacking in many of their species but the environment and the system is stubborn, unforgiving and laughable.

With that, I put together my most decent set of pictures into a disc, together with my resume I sent them in a white envelope to an unknown address in Tokyo. The contents in the envelope is my destiny which I can only pray and hope for the best for now. 2010 is a brand new start for me and hopefully I can have a brand new direction to advance...

2009-12-04T11:07:00.012+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

I realized that I haven't been putting up pictures on my site for a while, instead there are more wordy rants than anything else so here are some of the missing stuffs.

She had the height, the look and the vibe so I asked her to be my lens food and she agreed. She was A, my friend. The lighting was perfect, the colors were perfect, the back drop was perfect and the entire photoshoot went smoothly. In the end, I didn't even bothered to fiddle much with post processing since everything that came outta of the RAW files were splendid. 1 camera and a single 35mm lens was all that did the magic.

While slowing moving into the miraculous depths of B/W photography, I thought it might be better to fiddle with some digital B/W to get adjusted to the absence of the colorful spectrum. Some strobes were used and a lot of try and error since I am doing the entire shoot of myself by myself. Numerous shots were taken of course since flash memory was of no cost compared to films but despite all that, only a handful of usable ones were yielded from the attempt.

Rage against the dying light of my sanity

2009-12-03T11:12:00.000+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Is this a sign, an indication, a calling, a revelation or simply an omen…I really seek to know the truth if there is a greater being out there. I don’t need your assurance when others would lament where’s the faith but if any omnipotent superior celestial form do exists, shed some light to all these series of unfortunate events and many more to come. These mind games are very unhealthy for my mental well being because when I snap, I will be pulling everything else down with me. Not sure if that would be the worst scenario but nonetheless, it’s gonna get pretty ugly.

Strange issues are surfacing from out of nowhere faster than I can say “STOP!” and sadly, none of these issues are within my limited control. I have always been pleasant but defensive to prevent any negative elements from flooding me ultimately influencing my vibrant nature but very seldom, on really rare occasions, I do snap at times since I am still a mere mortal like everyone else.

Yesterday I strained another relationship between my company and me due to tax issues. Being a foreigner in Japan, I sort of expected that the company which had hired me, to try to be as helpful as possible with regards to certain issues which most foreigners are usually ignorant of. Seems like my company did the very least and left me out in the vast ocean to fend for myself. Each time a sudden unexpected event take form from nothing, my company or rather, the pathetic Boss, herself would usually tell me to shrug them off as redundant issues which these very issues will then come back and unleashed with 2 to 3 times multiplier of force to inflict massive damage on me. If a useless Boss can’t get these issues related to hiring a foreigner right, then I really see no incentive for the company to proceed rather than milking money off any unfortunate foreigner.

I am outright pissed to the point that “someone needs to pay a visit to the local morgue scenario” occasionally flashes in my head. This time round, the Residence Tax came in a huge accumulative lump sum again out of no where and my Boss told me in a relatively relax manner, “Oh that’s your personal tax so I can’t help you with anything and you have to go settle it by yourself.” While it may be my personal tax issues, perhaps letting me know a little earlier would definitely have helped me budget for it and not be caught in a dead lock like a vigilante trying to escape the Japanese Tax system. So I inquired further from the staffs in the City Office about any other hidden tax that I should have known and in the end, I found out that the “Income Tax” being taken out of my paycheck every month for the past 2 to 3 years were not being paid to the respective tax offices. On top of that I had to pay a cumulative 1 year of “Income Tax” back in October to get my working VISA renewed.

Now I was left wondering, why the hell am I paying the same “Income Tax” 2 times? Is it that my company is feeding off my paycheck thru tax evasion or is there something more? Given the shady nature of how my Boss would try to spin a credible tale each time I try to question her on sensitive issues like this, she would then give me the “I-have-done-so-much-for-you-why-are-you-such-an-ungrateful-asshole” drama mama to walk out of a potential war zone unscathed, I could envision that something was indeed amiss. I was and have always been the take-it-easy-laid-back kind of gentleman to back out and give her the benefit of doubt but this time I was clearly fuming mad. Questioned her I had tried and once again like an old sly vixen, she gave me all that “It’s very complicated and I can’t explain it to you.” answer. So with bits and pieces of vague information from here and there, I came to an inconclusive but comprehendible assumption that she had been taking me for a joy ride, feeding of my ignorant nature.

I stormed into the office and kicked up a huge fuss declaring that this entire saga to be laid out in detail on the table. I demanded to know EVERYTHING and I ain’t letting anything rest till I get the truth. She gave me a very surprised expression clearly to mock my rage as if there was no tension at all and tried again to flee by giving me kiddy reasons. A 9mm would have been rather useful in situations like this to get my point across but she soon realized that the position she was in was extremely dangerous. I told her it was either here where she could take her chances or the next time where she could be potentially speaking to my lawyer. She proceeded with caution and with the help of another fellow colleague whom I had discussed this saga prior, I came to “see” the bigger picture. Though it was quite simply a simple case of misunderstanding, I wasn’t the least remorseful for baring my aging fangs at her because it was HER pretentious sick façade that caused this entire saga. If only she tried to explain everything in detail all these while, none of this unpleasant dirty linen would surface.

Income Tax taken out from the monthly salary is only a FORECASTED Income Tax and the Income Tax which foreigners working in Japan have to file in March annually actually reflects the ACTUAL Income Tax. Then the difference between the ACTUAL and the FORECASTED Income Tax have to be paid in FULL when we file the taxes in March before any working VISAs can be renewed.

In just a short span of 1 day, I lost all motivation, all inspiration and all respect for my job. In my head these very phrases loop like a CD track, “50 years ago, you guys sucked and 50 years down the road, you guys still suck. Looking at the way your systems works, you guys will continue to suck which makes your uniqueness internationally popular. The very preachers suck at what they do and yet they can continue to preach their craft to the new generations, how ironic.” And with that I take it as a routine job to keep the funds coming in to fuel my passion for other areas of interests. Not worth even trying to improve the situation since they are so prone to last minute changes that expect me to weave magic. “Sorry, can’t do” will be my line while they go figure out how to waste my time further.

With this much angst going on in a short span of 1 month, I doubt any typical man in the street will be able to keep up and remain calm. Then my mum called my cellphone which I utterly detested since I would see it as an emergency. Just because I did not go online for 2 days and my phone started ringing with calls from SG really really annoys me. If I want to be left alone, just stay away and not incur my wrath because I do have my patience as well. Eventhough all these while I had and will try to play the smiley good kid coming home with no worries, no problems and no issues, the real deal have long been sought with friends of my inner circle. Since my family like the false façade of a happy, no problem, ideal family atmosphere, I have come to terms with my acting talent to put on a clown mask each time I stepped into my house. Sadly till now, no one actually sees that one of the reason for me to be here was to escape that artificial life I had.

And to top the perfect icing on the cake, news of relatives, families, familiar faces going thru similar life crisis pierced my ears. Some were not even 21 and some are over 50s and yet they had to be put thru such messy situations because of parents, peer pressures, personal commitment, what ever the reason maybe. One is lying in the hospital with a weak heart that may stop anytime, one is in a far away land like myself going thru depression, one freaks out the parents and needs professional medical attention, one joins the ranks of the family to drive an extremely precious family treasure to an early grave, one puts monetary weight over everyone else, one is seen like an outsider, and the rest just strain relationships. The way I see it, when the main supporting pillar for nearly 3 generations collapse, there will be no more ties, bonds, relationships whatsoever…and once again history will repeat itself right before my very eyes.

As much as I would like to be sympathetic, I choose to adopt a neutral stance and see everything fall apart and move on from there. When novelty wears off and the same scene repeat itself over a long period of time, I don’t think I will find any more entertainment value to it. Like Lennon had sung, “Let it be…”

Late in the night, I was grateful that you lent a listening ear though I would have been fine by myself but then you asked, “Would you have care?” and I answered, “Why should I?”, the reasons were very simple.

Even if I did care, nothing would have changed anyway, you will still make your decisions and I will still chase my dreams. You do what you want and I do what I love. You want more but I have only this much. You seek certainty and status but I look forward into the future and find them. Dreams keep me alive and without it, I am nothing and decisions keep you alive since you don’t live for anyone or anything else. Even if I did say no, would you be foolish enuff to do as I tell you only to blame an insignificant future. Even if I did tell you that the future you seek may not come would you still be willing to waste your precious youth? You paint it like I am the one influencing everything when I stayed the same and never left which you did in both occasions. Anyway I am just really grateful for last night, really because no one else knew what exactly was going on.

With so much reasons floating around, and in case you still don’t see what I am hinting at, then might as well let me say more. Everyone has their lives in their hands and everyone will be the sole master of their destiny since they are ultimately the ones who make important decisions that will alter the course of their lives. Someday when someone sees the same dream, the same vision, the same destiny, the reason of my existence, the inspiration that lights my life and tells me that all these are not what they see, but yet they are willing to walk with me into the future, that might just be…

Rants aside, with the migration of a new server, all systems, internet and local area network are down this morning and will probably dragged till an indefinite tomorrow. I am stuck with only one productive class for an entire day when I see how much the internet has become a part of my daily necessity. Interestingly I have not watched TV or read a newspaper for the past 3 years. Luckily MS Word still works as a standalone and I can feed all these fleeting rage into visible medium before they die out inside my head.

Thin ice sheets...

2009-11-30T13:23:00.005+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

As winter approaches, I embraced the chilly winds kissing my face in the mornings for a third year straight hoping to wake up with some warmth beside but still no magic so far. Perhaps the place might be the problem, perhaps it's just me creating the problem or is it a calling, an omen, a sign for me to seek greener pastures? At this point, I really want to rule out the option of giving up all that I had built so far, pack my stuffs and live a life like most back home. I am reluctant really but too bad some people will never be able to see the same dream as me. Sometimes I really wonder why can't most people around me see that a dream, an inspiration or to lead a different life is what I really want? If I can't dream and pursue it, what's the main purpose of existence itself? To be given life and to fit into a norm created by someone else, try to fit in, and lead an otherwise ordinary life? That's not what I want and I do fear it...for various reasons.

All that aside, the white magic of winter is still holding back since the last 1 time dusting of the fluffy white stuff. I have waited and I am now so close and yet so far from it. Hopefully it will come soon. Met a couple of new faces but as usual I wasn't very enthusiastic since I know that replies were always ridiculously late or none at all. But on the other hand, I wasn't really interested, no, I would say totally NOT interested whatsoever at all for an age gap of 5 above me. I want but still I have my own expectations to meet and age is one of the very crucial criteria which had not changed since I came to understand complex human relationships.

A while ago, I was gullible despite my age to fall into a nicely set snare and this time I fell into the same one simply because I was kind enuff to get cosy with aquaintences. A moment of wisdom struck me on the last minute and I managed to walk outta of it without losing a huge pile of cash. Luckily for me, I had other options to seek and of course some were much more approachable and friendly than the rest. Not only did I manage to strike a superb deal but to the extend that I would lose ZERO amount of cash in the end instead of a headache and money doing a Houdini stunt. Than I came to realise that I really appreciate those who can offer options and solutions free of greed and personal interest to solve many sudden issues. The rest are simply out to get my money thru explicit means or to promote a loud mouth bigger than their brains.

I see this as a rough patch since not many things are going as smoothly as before and the cold only makes logical analysis impossible. However if, I say again, that is IF everything goes well, I might just be able to walk out of this mess with a good start to an amazing career and probably drive one of my dream cars which would otherwise be impossible in Singapore. However, still not much luck with the right one yet since I am outright irritating and commands a rather high expectation. The only concern is that if I am not careful during this crucial period, the thin sheet of ice that I am planting my foot on might just send me sinking into a deep, bottomless abyss of the cold and yes I am very afraid.

11/22

2009-11-26T09:23:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

11 22 apparently mean 好い夫婦 in Japanese which of course relates to a special wedding date. And on this day, the 22nd day of the 11th month of November, a friend of mine who is a life(r) and not a cloud that just drift by (Japan) tied the nuptial knot. Unlike all other weddings that I had attended, this one would be very different because I am attending it as an official wedding photographer.

While photography is my passion, I was more prepared to try out various techniques and effects and every wedding event propose a training ground for me. Until now, all my pictures taken at weddings were simply crumbs left behind on an empty plate. I do not have any prior experience in wedding photography and comments online had led me to believe that if you are not confident of both yourself or the gear in your hands, do not ever volunteer to be a main wedding photographer even when your best friends, cousins, brother, etc ask you for a favor. Sadly, that was not my case since I shamelessly volunteered to be a slave to his sacred event. Seriously, I wasn't confident of myself and my 1 particular piece of glass but I thought that if I don't make a big leap of faith somewhere, there was no way I could improve and achieve greater heights. And so I set forth and embarked on yet another spectacular journey of my life.

Since this would be my first ever opportunity to mark my debut as an official wedding photographer, I did everything that I could muster and remember days prior to the wedding. Because deep down inside me, I had always marveled at how those pre-wedding pictures taken by other professionals turned out so magically and that very instinct inside me, that silent voice inside me whispered to me that I should take this golden opportunity to weave some magic myself. I did the ground checks, the lighting checks, the location checks, the weather checks, the equipment checks, etc.

All the plannings, and headaches, cash purchase all leads up to the actual day. I was there 30 minutes before the agreed stipulated time just to get adjusted to the enormous responsibility that will befall on me.

As soon as the main subjects turned up, the make up artists, the bride, the groom, the videographer, etc....I donned the mask and the suit to pull off a facade of the man in charge of stills.

The entire event went on pretty smoothly except the staged photoshoot at a nearby temple didn't went as expected. It was supposed to be done before the guests arrive at the lunch reception but instead, due to time constraints, it was pushed to the end and done in a haphazard manner in less than 20 minutes. I knew it would be very difficult to produce satisfactory results eventhough I had a magical temple ground at my disposal. This was my only set back which left me wondering how far is my own limit I can push. I had intended 1 roll of 36 frames B/W 35mm for the entire Temple Photoshoot but I barely utilized more than 10 frames :(

In summary, my maiden wedding went pretty well but very tiring and the most memorable moment was when the Master put on the head gear of faux hair and Miho exclaimed in laughter, "I looked like a Carebear with this head gear".

It's a great day today...

2009-11-18T13:27:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

As many of you have already known and as many of you have already read, I am just not your typical sunny island beach boy. I smile when the lights go out, I fly in the incandescent street lamps of the night and I most certainly float with the fluffy storm clouds. But today, after the slushy rain and snow mess from yesterday, I was in fact pretty excited for the sun to roll in. Because the distance peaks were all dusted in glorious white the surrounding ranges were in full view. The few clouds hung low and the exposed blue skies above reminded me once again of summer except with chilly temperatures kissing my face.

I am happy...indeed because snow on the peaks came a little earlier this year which would mean I would have snow on my feet very soon. Winter is finally here and as such, ended my long wait...the air never tasted so fresh, so crisp and so minty scented in my lungs. While the rest of the colorful greenery fades slowly to nothing but dark contrast of lines and shadows beneath the white peaks, I could safely say to myself, "Wait a little longer, have a little more patience, it's almost here..."

For 3 good years, I have never once felt the the need or even remember what the scenes of good 'o SG were like. Perhaps the same boring unsightly stuffs that I never once looked forward to have change to even shitty looking ones? I don't know and I don't really care...because what I see here are no longer confined to 2D pages or screens. Winter has become a part of my life and I do confess I need it. 3 years ago, there were those naysayers who said that I was too quick to find love for winter since I had never been thru one and that they were so confident that after my first winter, I would be singing a different tune or fleeing to warmer regions. 3 years later, I am still tasting winter like a virgin and each year it can only get better.

Though many people do not have the luxury to experience such celestial lifestyle, I can only hope and pray that someday, someone out there would be able to see the same white scenery with me and say, "I would trade everything else to live each day like this for the rest of my life."

Not good enuff, try harder...

2009-11-17T12:06:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

While it seems that the news of H1N1 has been rather dead recently, I am always reminding myself that I have always been "healthy" and rarely fall prey to any form of sickness. I was a little too careless and a little to harsh to quickly learn from my over-confidence.

Strangely late into the evening last night, I was struck down by a sudden and unknown illness which left me nauseas, sick, lethargic and very unconscious. I was barely able to get a hold of myself while I struggled home after buying my dinner. My head was spinning like a record on a turntable and my breath was irregular and heavy. I could feel my body trembling at the otherwise bearable cold and I was really not in a good condition.

Tried to puke my guts out but nothing happened and yet the undigested food remained uncomfortably lodged in my diaphragm. Not a good feeling when each step I took felt like an earthquake. Gobbled up my dinner, popped some pills and crawled into the chilly bed by 1945 hours. Tossed and turned the entire night but felt slightly better as I watched the cold darkness broke into the dawn of a new day. It was really cold this morning and outside, the rain from last night had turned into slush...snow came with rain and everywhere was wet, noisy and very gloomy.

I knew I had to either call it a sick day and rest or fight it out and go to work which I obviously chose the later. With only a couple of days left, I have to prevent myself from sucumbing to any sickness to prepare for the big day. In school, I could feel the sick aura slowly leaving me alone though the discomfort of indigestion, headaches, and occasional shivery cough and flu still plague me.

Have quite a number of things to do and prepare before the big day which I am so looking forward to, I see images even in my sleep.

God bless you all and stray far from those irritating sickness.

A tiny step but a giant leap

2009-11-16T13:22:00.007+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Sometime back, I was talking to a friend who will soon tie the blissful knot (wonder where the hell is my magical knot) and I was left utterly speechless when I learnt that there will be no professional photographer to document his magical event. There may be various reasons but pictures are definitely a MUST in any wedding event and to leave this sacred task to just about anyone who holds a camera is almost unbelievable. To do myself and my friend a huge favor, I shamelessly volunteered to capture the event as a main photographer so that I could at least be able to sleep at night knowing that I did something meaningful for once in my life. It's not always about me you know, sometimes, it just feels good to do something for someone else just to feel good. Yeah right, like real...in case you didn't see it coming, I would not take such noble credit for it since I wasn't even a saint to begin with. To shed a little light, or should I say darkness, this merely allows me to put meself to the test, against all odds to see how far I can take such important roles.

So far, my pictures were deemed to be good but the truth is that I am doing all my pictures as a hobby, not like my life depended on it so there wasn't much pressure, time frame attached to it and I was pretty much free to explore my talents. Now that I gave someone else my word, this will mark an epical journey for me into the future, a tiny step for me but a gigantic leap for my future which I have to settle for nothing else except perfection to deliver. No doubt the immerse pressure is way more than the previous one when I took the role of a second photographer in Singapore since there was a Master to take charge back then. Now it's just me alone in the vast ocean fending the sharks...many pairs of eyes will be feasting me like piranhas and with that comes an incredible amount of pressure raining down on me. However, the paramount and single death blow to me would be my own mentality, my own perfection to meet and my own pressure to evaluate my actions and sanity. I simply cannot fail and I simply cannot blame any inanimate objects except to eat my sanity away...

This is THE one chance, the one debut, the first and maiden attempt for me to take the holy role of a wedding photographer, the MAIN man in charge to capture, preserve and to re-write history. All those tears, sweat and toil that I had been thru all comes down to this one historical moment, to carve my legend out of nothing.

Though I dare confess that I am definitely not a devoted believer of any faith, I sink weakly and nimbly before any omnipotent and mighty God to bless me the strength, the holy energy and the wings to shine thru this epical magic carpet ride!

And to my friend, I couldn't be more grateful and thankful to you for giving me this chance, for beliving in me and for having faith...let's make this magic happen!

Though things are getting pretty messed up in my head, hopefully I can get my gear ready. 3 rolls of film which makes up at least a 100 B/W shoots, light stands...

The Magic of Nature...

2009-11-12T08:32:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

In times like this when I feel lost, distraught and really unstable, everything that I do feels insignificant and uneventful. If I were in SG, the usual routine stupid crowd that brings me down further will only add to my rage. Because in SG, there's just too many stupid people plaguing a perfectly fine and lively city.

Nature if you ask me when I was in SG would be something that I couldn't care the least bit about since there wasn't much to begin with. Even if there were, they were probably boring, pesky insects infested, hot and humid state land with huge "No Transpassing" signboards.

Somehow with the change of environment where this tiny valley city that I reside in now is going thru the annual phase of changing colors to embrace the beautiful winter, the fluffy thick grey clouds of doom hovering over the peaks of the distant mountain ranges and the rejuvernating sensation of inhaling in fresh morning scent seems to wash those weary woes away bit by bit. Not instantaneously but I would say rather effectively. Since I am a huge sucker for cold weather, I have never felt or appreciated how much nature had embraced me when I was in the lowest times of my life, at least not when I was in SG.

Religions and Gods many be rather subjective but this kinda of nature seems to relate a Godly prescence making almost everyone who would take a minute or 2 of their routine hectic lives appreciate and enjoy what had been there for gazillions years before our existence to destroy every bit of it. 3 years here and not for a day have I taken such amazing scenery for granted except that I wouldn't want to put them into 2 dimensional static and lifeless photos. Everyone have to feel it for themselves and see that life itself is probably the most wonderful gift from our parents or from God, if you believe in one.

I have no intention to bare it all, pitting my rage against the omnipotent nature. As much as I would want to be angry, pissed and think irrationally, a simple glance at all those colorful mountain ranges, the slow passing of the clouds, the sun peeking thru the clouds, the rustling of the leaves, the falling of the leaves, the cold but nature-scented air blowing thru, the sand and dust dancing in the gust, the crows singing on the fence, the hawks circling the skies, the farmers tending their crops, the reflection of the lakes and ponds or the one foreigner standing on a ledge, admiring all these magic...

I have found a place that only appears in dreams when most of my other country folks go to sleep each night.

I have found a place that only appears in the fairy tale books read to children of a tender age.

I have found a place where I have a strong belonging.

This is paradise that you will never see...

If only you were here to see it with me...

My say on the Sigma HSM DG EX 50mm F1.4 (Canon Mount)

2009-11-11T09:48:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

A while ago, I had settled for the Sigma 50mm over Canon L which was just too expensive, over the Canon 1.4 which I felt was more like a toy but in the end, the Sigma was simply a mix of pros and cons.

This is my first Sigma lens since I prefer to stick to Canon L after being blown away by the EF35L which is still my favorite lens in my arsenal. The overall construction is not bad but feels delicate as compared to the Canon 1.4 since the Canon feels like a sturdy plastic capable of abuse while the Sigma uses some kinda of coating.

The HSM motor is quiet which is neither good or bad since sound is not an issue for me. Looking into the lens at the grooves that the lens tread on, I feel that Canon 1.4 would be much simpler and confident to use. But I do like the huge 77mm large glass that the Sigma has over the tiny Canon 1.4.

AF speed on both the 5Dm2 and EOS 3 for the Sigma was a little slower as compared to the Canon 1.4. AF tends to hunt a bit in dark situations for both lenses though.

You can find pretty much in depth reviews on the net so I would not go thru that trouble but rather my personal opinion on this lens. Having shot both on film and digital, I would say that this lens is usable straight outta the box with subjects less than 3 metres from the camera. Anything beyond, out of focus shots are a definite. Had no such trouble with all my Canon lenses so this does disappoint me a little.

At 1.4, it's soft and subjective to CA which I believe is present to all other 50mm lenses as well. At 1.8 to 2.0, the Sigma is spot on and very sharp. This lens is usable in my opinion but wide open, it's really prone to out of focus shots. Takes practice though but this flaw can most definitely be worked around with some effort. I tried contacting Sigma about calibrating the lens but sadly they replied that they can only calibrate the lens to 1 camera body which I will pass.

Overall this quite a nice affordable 50mm lens that is very usable if you know how to exploit the flaws at wide aperture. I really would not compare this lens with Canon L lenses since they are of a different league. At the price, this is probably the best value for money 50mm lens.

So what do I say...

2009-11-11T09:07:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Yesterday was an "amazing" day for me because what seemed like an ordinary day to begin with soon unfolded into a series of unfortunate events. Upon reaching the first school, E school, they inquired about my prescence on 11th November which was of course today. I told them that I would be at the other school, J school, which was only like 1 minute apart by car since I go to J school from Wednesday to Friday for the past 3 years and that left the staffs in shock like a scene from The Ring.

And so the situation was that on 11th November, both schools needed my prescence for a very big and important demostration class but J school had the priority since it was a Wednesday. 2 schools were 1 minute apart by car and all it took was a phone call to resolve such silly and unnecessary conflicts but yet the 2 schools were clueless about each other. I shook my head in digust and told the staffs at E school to iron out their conflicts while I continued to amuse myself with Facebook.

In the end, they resolved their silly incompetence and the verdict was for me to be present at 2 different schools with 15 minutes grace. I really couldn't care less if you ask me.

As the evil plot unfolds further, I found myself straining a rather important relationship. I had asked 2 friends for help with regards to finding a second hand snow tyre and of course the cheaper the better. The 1st friend, Y, was a great friend for 3 years and he got me a barely used second hand snow tyres thru his brother for ￥40,000. Hefty though since the cheap new ones goes for ￥20,000. I was a bit reluctant but told him I would consider it. That was when things went sour and turned nasty. He told me that his brother was doing me a favor and had bought it for me so I should honor the deal. Well, I was surprised but honored that his brother had gone to such lengths for me but the whole idea behind second tyres was the price of course and in this case was almost 2 times the price of brand new ones. There was absolutely no justification in this I would say...

The second friend, T, returned me called 2 days later with a ￥10,000 second set of tyres. Now the price itself was everything that I needed to make an instant decision but my fatal call to Y was brutal as he lashed out every reason about how the Japanese spirit, how I should honor the deal, how I should accept it since I asked him for help, blah blah blah. I was not very happy about it, in fact I was PISSED! The conversation strained our friendship seriously but I chose to honor the deal and forsake the monetary loss to see the true character of people.

Hoping that everything would end with a good dinner and some decent rest, I found that I didn't bring my wallet out..."Man!" I thought, "Could this get any worse?". Luckily I had my card and I strolled into the mall like a lifeless zombie, grabbed my take away dinner and headed home. While driving thru the forested stretch near my house, I thought, "What a fucked up day...so if any dumb animals were to be stupid enuff to cross my path, death I shall serve to you."

True enuff, a ginger cat, not sure if it's a kitten or an adult stupidly crossed my path as I entered a bend. Heard a squeal of pain but I couldn't care less and continued until I reach home. The first thing I did when I exited the car was to check if there were any blood stains, lodged carcass, etc that would have pissed me off even more. Nothing could be seen in the darkess as I battled the bugs that plauged my house every year during the autumn winter crossover. Busted a finger in the process and still I could feel my rage boiling strong.

Late into the night, I saw a familiar name on Facebook...I wasn't sure if I should make the first move but in the end I still did. I wasn't sure if a simple, "Hi, how are you?" was appropriate. We chatted via Facebook chat but it was a completely different feeling as compared to months ago for at least 8 months where we shared giggles, sarcasm and gossips thru skype. Now it was just watching for the blinking cursor until texts appeared before I could reply anything. Really, I asked myself...what do I say with each reply you give? Coincidentally, someone else used the same salutation only known by us...did everything have a meaning to it? What exactly was I missing out?

And today, according to the weather forcast would be raining and so would the next couple of days. At least the weather and Heaven were kind to me to grant me such splendid blessings. The entire sky was filled with deep dark gray clouds of doom and the rain wouldn't stop falling. 0900 in the morning and it seemed like 1900 in the evening...such weather would be a dread for many people but for me, it was simply beautiful because there would be a lot more accidents, a lot more pissed poor folks and a hell lot more mess around.

I am one, with no master with tutor.

I am one, with my own dreams with my own visions.

I am one, ready for a challenge if you are good enuff.

So bring it on and give me all you have got before I get bored.

If only...

2009-11-06T09:00:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Well, so much for a surprise which was utter disappointment in the end. I guess if I want something right, I just gotta get my hands dirty and do it myself. Standards of others are simply not up to my expectations in most situations. I am becoming more emotionally and mentally attached to figures that are so much more inspirational than redundant wind bags that spew nonsensical garbage from time to time.

It's really sad to see how much overflow of information is floating in the cyberspace and yet people are too dumb to utilise it effectively and yet extremely adept in abusing it. As the saying goes, "Empty vessels make the most noise", I couldn't have said it any better.

I really wonder why some would subject themselves to be slaves of technology, don't really know what the hell they are talking most of the time, have tons of time spewing nonsense and yet no time to do some productive work, nosey parker sniffing into everything that's good and yet can't master any of it, so full of themselves without realising that half the time, they are just a pathetic hollow shell with no essence.

Though I do not rule out age as a reason for such un-acceptable behavior, age don't really take the main role. Rather, it's more of suffering from inferior complexity and wanting to deny it by seeking attention. Yet acceptance of the truth are never possible since selective listening and views are the norm. When things doesn't quite go as plan, anger and egoistic pride kicks in where the fragility of human connection are strained. I see it in a way that if you try to mend a broken mirror, you can never remove the scars, the lines and the cracks that are evidence of the past. I am a perfectionist and I admire beauty and intellectual challenged mediums so I would never try to break a mirror and then mend it back. If I do break anything, it's the garbage that they go to.

Since I have absolutely no control over issues that plagued me as I walk the path of life, I just take everything that's thrown at me in my stride. Because I believe that if only everyone listened more and talk less, put themselves before others, take pride in what they do, ask intelligent questions only when they run outta options, not abuse or take things for granted, show a decent level of competency, respect human bonds, drop the deserved-to-be-shot egoistic PRC attitude, be humble and accept honorable defeats, would we all be able to live harmonously in a perfect utopian society?

New toys from the past...

2009-11-04T13:50:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

As I progress thru photography, so did greed...I do not deny that I do have a huge crush on the Leica M3 or M6 rangefinders but they are just a on the top of a luxury wish list. Not feasible but still I would love to have one.

The other one that I do fancy is a Rollei TLR camera or an old Asahi Pentax 67 with a wooden beer handle to knock any fools in my way. Though they are all from old film eras, most still pack a lethal punch for me.

But as for now, they are just gonna take up space and a lot of money...we will see.

Damn cycle of luck...screw you!

2009-11-04T09:58:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Last week, I was off to a blast and everything was rocking smooth. I saw a shooting star on Friday night, received a much awaited call before leaving for Tokyo on Saturday, picked up a decent copy of the lens I wanted, got introduced to a mystery girl which I have not idea how she looked like or do for a living, crashed a Halloween party, met a cool dude of Native American ancestry, met my SG friend in Tokyo, went to the Tokyo Motor Show and only to come back home in snowing conditions. To top it all off, I successfully developed my first ever roll of film last night in freezing conditions.

Damn the cycle of luck which clearly disappoints from here forth. My wisdom tooth began to give me shits, my friend showing signs of the undesirable and highly contagious PRCs attitude and God knows what else may come.

First, let's elaborate on the call...I have been here for almost 3 years and I am pretty bored of my super ideal job. In other words, I want to move on to other fields of profession, a wedding photographer of course. This call came from the Director of the photography department of one of the largest conglomate of one of the oldest names in Japanese hotel resort. I was set for an interview after pulling some strings from an insider job. Went for the interview yesterday and found that the famous sacred stone church was part of this conglomate.

The Director was a really laid back gentleman with 9 years in the current position. The interview was more of a friendly conversation with an rough introduction of the compound which the insides of the sacred stone church stole my soul. He was impressed with my portfolio, attitude, presentation and mentality and commended me on various occasions. Sadly I could only take all these with a pinch of salt since I barely know him. If all goes well, I might be able to join one of the most prestigous company in Japan with a high chance to meet both Japanese and International celebrities and yes I am grinning evily. I am also pretty confident that there will be intense competition for this position but I am not taking anything lightly. Indeed I am really looking forward to this position which will decide my future from 2010 and beyond.

Next I shall cover this mystery girl whom was introduced by my local contact. She called me, told me she wanted to introduce me this girl and ask me if my details could be forwarded to this mystery girl. Of course I said yes since a new friend found couldn't really be a bad thing. The mystery girl called me while I was shopping for my photography supplies and the entire conversation was simply about photography. We exchanged a couple of mails and that was about it. I am clueless about how she looked like, what she does for a living, etc. which I will find out in due course.

Last night in freezing conditions (4 degrees), I prepared my chemicals, stabilized the temperature, off all the lights and in pitch black darkness, spooled my first and ever roll of 35mm film before coming out into the light. Things like contrast, grains and tones were given careful considerations after months of research done on the net, advices from inspirational photographers and product advice. In my mind were simply thoughts that I would most definitely screw up my first ever attempt since I did not attent any schools, was not govern by tests or exams, was no apprentice to no master, and had absolute freedom to do whatever I wanted.

After the final rinse in the drying agent, it was just the moment of truth that would clear the smog in my head. Upon opening the canister, I saw nothing but plastic grey film with no images. I was disappointed instantly but as I tore open the spool intricately, the images on the frames began to appear and I swore my heart skipped a beat back there. The pure exhilaration of completing such feats marked an epical achievement to my life from here beyond. All I need is a decent scanner after I hung the long strip to dry.

This coming Friday have another major event and a great chance to make new friends, practice photography.

Snow is also slowly creeping in and I am really excited...

Simplicity and Ignorance are not the same.

2009-11-04T08:30:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

When I was in U, I had noticed how a certain particular individual of PRC origin would sit in the first row at exactly the middle. He was a nobody and no one cared until he started to respond to complex mathematical questions that involves tedious integration, algorithms and formulaes in record breaking time. The lecturer was a patient man of immerse knowledge and experience but even he wasn't impressed since every answer was wrong.

It then became clear to me that maybe he had some kind of special abacus that would beat all our scientific calculators from Casio or Sharp, or simply, he was just sprouting nonsense with no essence.

In my years of existence, I have met and have been marveled by people of humble origins with a deep knowledge of specific issues. These very people became my source of inspirations simply because they do not take what the teacher, lecturer or books throw at them. They challenge the norm and question every aspect till no answer, fact or evidence can be found and then they make their verdict. Their verdicts are usually free from personal judgement and contains a wealth of factual information. They do not impose their opinions on others and will present it as a fact to respect the freedom of choice. I have upmost respect of people with such esscence since they have an open mind and are always to accept healthy and intellectual challenges. Unless you have recognised efforts, a wiki entry or worthy of my respect, you can only try to impress me.

While everyone are free to voice their opinions, views and judgements, it's sad that I do not see much of those with a strong theoritical basis to back it up since most are just ignorant rants with no truth that contains strong personal attachment to it. Sometimes, if people bothered to read more, use the internet wisely and present facts instead of personal judgement, I would indeed have a more pleasant learning experience. If you can't swim, don't blame the swimming suit and if you can't win, don't blame your opponent. Reflect on yourself and do not unto others what you do not want on yourself.

To say that it's as simple as black is black and white is white is just shooting yourself in the foot and an utter disgrace to which ever institution or tutor that you apprentice to with respect to photography. If you know your stuffs, you would have already realise that there are different shades of blacks and different shades of white so I would rather have a constructive arguement with a capable opponent since there is a possibility of me being defeated while amassing a wealth of information otherwise unknown to me. Imposing baseless personal opinions on me is a huge pitfall which will only beg you more confound sarcasm since I am not a huge fan of that. I would love a good arguement when I can conceed defeat to know that my opponent knows more than me so if you have what it takes, I am always ready for a good challenge.

I do like to hide meanings in texts and not spoon feed people who are simply lazy and take what the world throws at them readily. Since those who understands the simple intended hidden meaning would know their next course of action. And those who don't will continue to generate nonsensical rants that will never fail to impress me. If you ask politely and not let that contagious PRC attitude get the better of you, I may just feed you what you want.

If only everyone understands that simplicity is a beautiful flawless design and ignorance is just an ugly excuse of laziness to pass off as simplicity.

If only everyone understands the freedom of choice and have a wider mind set to accept constructive arguments.

If only everyone is humble, are not afraid to apologise and not impose their opinions on others.

If only everyone can be a little more earnest and modest and do in depth research before present factless and useless arguments.

If only everyone can utilise the internet wisely, question ambiguities of authority, and present intellectual views.

If only everyone appreciates the truth and accept even the harshiest ones.

If only everyone understands all these, I am damn sure I wouldn't have to come here since SG would indeed be a livable place.

Copper Week maybe...

2009-10-30T08:38:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Next Tuesday is suppose to be a public holiday but since Monday will be e regular work day, I took leave specially to go down to Tokyo to meet a good friend to fulfil a promise made long ago. Since things didn't quite go the way I wanted, and I really didn't want to revoke the leave, I thought I should try to exploit as much of it as I can.

Tonight I will head to Karuizawa to crash a Halloween Party and my choice of costume, a Chinese Zombie since I had the Kung Fu shirt and all I need is a tailsman which I had already printed it out thanks to the company's printer. And then tomorrow after my Japanese class, I will head down to Tokyo maybe for more parties? Not sure yet but since I got to crash at my free and cosy Tokyo pad, I couldn't care less. Sunday will be a full day of shopping by meself I presume since everyone else will be busy.

I had already mapped out the locations and wrote down the items that I need to get to start playing with my films. So indeed I am really excited...and then on Monday, I will visit the Tokyo Motor Show with my SG bro in Tokyo. And the best of it all, Tuesday will still be a holiday after all these...and that almost sums up this year's amazing spread of holidays. Golden week, Silver week, Bronze week but as a joke I shall name it copper week.

Picked up my paycheck yesterday night and loitered around the area for a while. Found a nice family style Kimono Shop which would be able to tailor-make me the Samurai Kimono if I supplied the pictures so I might see what they have to offer. Walked around a little more and stopped by a rustic camera shop where I spoke to the lady Boss in charge. Found out that not many people in this area I presumed do their own film developing which she was really surprised when I told her I wanted to do my own developing. Before leaving, I "seduced" her to whisk a few rolls of expired film hopefully so that I could practise the spooling action. Satisfactory obtained 1 roll in the end.

The pictures of the photoshoot last week went pretty well and though most of the pictures are already posted on Facebook, I will try to get them up here as well along with the other wedding pictures. Blogger has always been slow in the picture uploading process which I really dread. Anyway I got quite a decent number of good hits, constructive comments with regards to the recent photoshoot. It seems that my friends have a rather high level of expectation and thus I shall not disappoint in the future. Really made my day to see so many friends appreciating my pictures and putting those pictures that I had taken as their profile pictures.

Looking at more wedding pictures of my Master, I was more intrigued to step into the vast world of artistic vision to preserve the most beautiful moments of humanity. Of course the works of my Master were of leaps and bounds beyond me and I could only try to walk in the trail that he had blazed. Hopefully someday I can make my mark and have my efforts recognised as well. I did remember my Mum saying to me when I was young that the teachers in my primary school realised that I had a potential in the artistic field since I sucked at regular subjects. I wasn't very analytical to begin with but my textbooks were all donned in insane depictions of various characters. Somehow I always tend to excel in art classes even till secondary school where I drew a banana the way it was with inperfections, like distortions, color variances, etc and everyone else drew what they wanted to see, a perfect banana. The sort of seperated me from my peers who scored amazing grades and went on to pursue an amazing career.

Me, I fleed to Japan to further expand and realise my potential in artistry thru photography and some computer wizardry. Then I met more inspiration people and they enlightened my vision even further.

Though my current job pays rather decently and probably has the most holidays, it has been 3 years and I thought I needed a change of environment. I want to be a wedding photographer and I started pulling contacts and strings. There is one slight opportunity at the moment but I have not met the man in charge yet. Still I have to go thru interviews and screenings but my triumph card would be my ability to speak 3 languages and the difference of perspective. I had to start somewhere and wedding photography in Japan is a totally different ballgame from SG. Photographers are not an independent entity but rather part of a package tied to a location or wedding company which provides the dress, photographers, planning, etc. Nonetheless, I am willing to take this leap of faith and plunge my passion into a career.

Ok all that ambitious blabbers aside, I am ready and set for the PARTIES!

P.S. I do hope that my little Teddy Bear is doing fine and I miss my little Teddy Bear.

The drapes of perfection

2009-10-28T11:03:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

It all started when with a huge fascination about Japanese cultures and history but Kimonos have kinda lost the masculine appeal while retaining the intricate and beautiful depictions reserved only for the female form.

I do like Kimonos a lot but I would say I appreciate them wrapping petite Japanese females like little presents than on the males. Thru my tour of duty here in Japan, males are hardly seen in Kimonos unless at Weddings or Funerals. Besides, it's a lot easier to drape a male in Kimonos since dressing a female is pretty much an ancient art like tea ceremony. Other reasons which I presume would be that the Bushido depiction of a male clad in Samurai Kimonos might seems a little violent and not generally accepted.

Nonetheless, I do not like the typical wedding kimonos for males since they tend to be a little bland and dull for my taste. Instead the "Ronin" or lone wanderer Samurai appeal seems to protray a more subtle but mysterious aura which I really like. And I have absolutely no intention to stick any Katanas in my Obi to complete the look. I kinda felt that a simple Bushido Kimono with the clogs would be a nice style from the warring eras in this modern society that we life in. I do know that not many people fancy it but that's not really my issue anyway.

The one Samurai that I draw most influences from is Sakamoto Ryoma (坂本龍馬). The other famous names in history had huge helmets, armors and are battle ready which would be ridiculous if worn without a good cause.

This was the replica of the Kimono Sakamoto wore with the family emblem on the sleeves. But I presume the light grey hakama, though very cool would be dirtied easily so I am actually looking at Toshizo's version.

Eventhough these are not the original pieces, they are still pretty costly raking in close to SGD$1k.

A day with Autumn in Fall

2009-10-28T09:36:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Went out for a photoshoot that I had promised a friend yesterday...which had me sneaked out mid way thru a "normal" workday. Evil and sneaky bastard but there was no work for the second half of the day and I had to hang around with the possibility of catching the deadly influenza, I opted to flee and take advantage of the fine weather after 2 days of continuous rain.

Her name was A and she was pretty sweet to work with but I found out that only certain angles was appropriate since I was rather picky. I wanted to find the angle thad appeals most to me so I had her struting her stuff as she like. She was tall hovering around 170cm but that's besides the issue. The place was not my first priority but thank god I went there because the Sun, the mountains and the colors turned out better than I had expected. It turned out really fun because the photoshoot was done purely in natural light, located on a gentle hill and had me leopard crawling to get those much desired angles...

The second location was foiled when some old Japanese grandpa discovered my evil plans to inflitrate an abandon building for the B/W shoots...DAMN! Might need to do another covert operations with the correct crew under the cover of darkness.

I didn't go all trigger crazy but rather selective on the framings...will try to get ir proccessed tonight if time permits. And those on film...I am not sure when they will be ready.

Reasons we all have readily to be expolited

2009-10-28T08:38:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

As the temperature starts to decline steadily and slowly, the days becomes shorter, the leaves start to dazzle with rich colors and I become more crazy. Indeed the short span of autumn colors are only here for a while like the sakura(s) in spring, I have to kick into high gear and try to catch as much of it as possible before they are all gone.

Been burying myself in photography and events just to stay away from unfortunate incidents which I found to be rather complex in nature. Since the weather is becoming colder as winter lurks around the corner, I guess I have to move a bit more to keep meself warm. Been hanging out healthily with a bunch of old school photographers/friends who have cheap, unfanciful monster film SLRs like Asahi Pentax 67, Pentax LX, Contax ???, etc. These old gems can be easily bought off the numerous second hand shops all around for a mere couple of hundreds, a small affordable fraction of the price of today's newest digital SLRs.

Film used to be a taboo for me which I believed was expensive and difficult to fool around with. But as I progressed thru the path of photography, many influences and inspirations started to poison me and in the end, I found out that film though might be a little more expensive than digital, it's a lot more fun. Besides, the colors, contrast and the grains are not yet possible with digital manipulation even with the Wizardry of Photoshop Gurus. Certain film, camera and gear are almost in non-existence in SG but here, they can be easily obtained which clearly fuel the very niche group of film users. You would be surprised that there are actually quite a decent number of film users in Japan.

I started out with my first roll of Neopan 1600 3 weeks back to test out the camera that I had bought. Boy was I excited like a little kid when I tore open the box, took out the cylindical canister, opened it and popped the roll of film into the camera and hear the mechanical winding sound. With no LCDs to display the fanciful histograms or picture playbacks, it was now pure instincts to test out the possibilities with an old but not obsolete piece of precision engineering (God I simply love that phrase!).

One of my friend who has like 4 to 5 cameras that are almost equivalent to the price of my single 5Dmk2 dabbles a lot in film. I was seeking his tutorage since he had a good head start in film before me. Then I found out about the dangerous Natura 1600 which produces some of the most beautiful faded colors when used at the right lighting and conditions. I was tempted once again because what I had till now was just digital manipulation at it's best and presented before me was an array of prints that were beyond description.

So with all that, I forsee a hefty budget into the near future with the purchase of a film scanner, darkroom materials, printer, etc. But at the moment, I have a couple of things to get with my limited budget which puts me in a delimma. I have set my eyes on the Sigma HSM EX DG 50mm F1.4 for a while but at the same time I have also decided to get meself an affordable Samurai Kimono Set since the authentic ones are almost SGD$3.6k. The scenarios are in such a way that if I get the lens, I can play with it and also use it at the upcoming wedding which I had volunteered to be the main photographer to mark my debut. Sad to say it's for free...(Am I stupid?), which if I get the Kimono, it would be the only chance I could get close to possessing a piece of history at a affordable price. The lens will still be there but not really sure about the kimono. I might need to try the lens to confirm the various focusing issues littering the net but I would also have to try the kimono to see the fit. Decision and more decision...but I am leaning more on the lens.

Initially I was pretty happy when a good friend told me she was coming to Tokyo and I would get to meet her fulfilling our long promise made ages back. I took leave specially for that day with plans to get the lens along with the darkroom materials but, it somehow ended in a disappointment instead, the second one so far. Well, I guessed I could fault anyone since everyone has their own priorities in life and I am no where near the top. You see she was coming with her bf and of course I would not fit anywhere in the picture or the schedule. The other disappointment was pretty much the same with me being casted in the shadows. A couple of good Japanese friends was nudgling me to accompany them to SG in Dec/Jan 2010 crossover some months back and I was almost ready to drop a surprise visit in SG for...nvm but I guessed that reason is no longer valid since people move on with their lives. Maybe I might just... but only to see my good friends, do some photos for them, for my family and for my grandma and to meet the sole reamining reason in person.

And when decisions have been made, any attempts to justify, redeem or explain only yields more reasons to confirm the decision made so why bother.

Expensive shopping list for months ahead but I really hope I can find the much needed warmth in Winter without making a trip back to SG. Maybe a short trip to Taiwan to visit my BROTHER would be ideal...

There is ONLY one reason left...

2009-10-20T09:04:00.004+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

A while ago, there were more than one reason to subdue me and drag me sorry ass back to SG. Not that I really want that but I was "ready" to return to SG for those reasons. But time is really Man's best friend as "All shall be revealed with time" couldn't have described it better.

I had already forseen the imminent arrival into the future but still it griped me a little hard but not enuff to suffocate. My hunch had never failed me and once again I got it spot on. The departure, then return and then the departure plays like a loop on a CD track and though I wasn't very happy about it, I wasn't in a position to judge. But this reason soon puts a closure to everything after 2 or maybe 3 years of uncertainty. I see no future in uncertainties and I can only wish I was half as good. So go forth and put me in the shadows like I had always been, never seeing the light and never fleeing the darkness.

And with each closure of reasons, the numbers become smaller until finally there is only 1 left.

The ONLY 1 that has no lies, no truth, no future, no past and had withstood the elements and even time. This will be the sole reason I would wanna go back to SG and be there for good. But this will also be the ONLY reason I will have regrets giving up to seek The Path since it (the reason ifself) had never left and had always been by my side in times of ups and in times of downs.

However in light of all these reasons and reason, I have absolutely no intention of going back so I can only sulk and remember the memories. I really hope that there are less pathetic, less fortunate, lower educated, dumb assholes like Ris "the no brainer IQ is super" Low and her sub-standard-deserved-to-be-ghosted kind of shits would stop plaguing this planet.

Go screw yourself!

Avoiding Radar Detection but smiling

2009-10-14T11:53:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

I am laying low for a while now since there is a huge puncture in my forcasted budget for this month. It was all because of my Company screwing things up bad...but to console myself, at least I learnt something meaningful because the Stupid company can get anything done right.

I had to pay a decent lump sum of some weird tax in one go all because my company told me to ignore it when the tax form first came something back. Totally surprised me since I did not budget for it and now I had to go thru such troubles. I wasn't prepared to take it in my stride since I was being credited for overdues. So after some persistence and arrogant stand, my company decided to pay the overdues which they totally should not making the decision right when they got the chance.

Ever since I got the film camera, the path from there forth is going pretty influential. Next month, I will have to go down to Tokyo to get the necessary supplies to develop my own film. With no intention of spurging and expanding more space in my house, just enough supplies for a low production would be sufficient to sustain the current film option. Was initially eyeing the Sigma 50mm f1.4 prime but depending on how it goes, I might have to delay that purchase. Besides, my best friend D, is coming to Japan in Nov and I took 1 day leave (hopefully it will get approve) to meet her for 3 days in Tokyo. We had talked about meeting each other in Japan since God knows how many many years back but finally now everything will become reality. Don't really want no dogs barking at me while partying with great friends but I don't think that is in my control. "@*`!"#$%!!!"

There is a very high chance, almost absolute I would say, that I will not continue my line of work from Mar 2010. Will move to pursue a photographer's role and presumably in wedding, hopefully in Karuizawa or Tokyo. I really don't need luck at the moment but possibilities and opportunities.

Never have I even imagined that photography which I had picked up as a hobby might be my very rice bowl...

Pictures of the Shikoku Road Trip

2009-10-14T10:56:00.043+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Here they are, the pictures in exchange for the wordy essay...sorry for the delay but thanks for the patience.

The wide lanes beautifully decorated with white broken lines before the series of massive "A" monsters crept in.

The Twin Red Aces.

These distracting oil tankers are squeaky clean so I had to catch that magnificient reflected view.

"Ahhhh yeah! Ghost in the resonance....!"

"You see all roads lead to the same destination and it's definitely not ROME!...it's DEATH!"

"More bridges!"

Really didn't expect this to turn out well but hey, it wasn't THAT bad!

While I got my epical Dawn on the top of Fuji, this had to be the epical Dusk on the highways on Shikoku.

"Pretty Boy P"

"And so the silent crow, the sacred pet of Darkness, watches as yet another one falls victim to the scythe of Death."

Japanese Feudal Architectual never fails to mesmerize me.

And here are my favorites...the Lost Glory of the Samurai(s)!

Even emblems like these are so uber cool.

The view from the top of the castle was equally amazing before the pictures of the starry night skies flows in. Here, gazillions trinkets of blinking gems scattered the velvet skies to embrace a path of mystery, the Milky Way.

Yep, we camped in front of this little pond gazing up at the stars!

Beaches were next...

Photoshoots and other misc pictures

2009-10-14T09:56:00.023+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

Have too much holidays and time recently and I didn't spent them on un-productive issues so I decided to seive thru my photos and process as much as I can. I will go thru the photos with a short description beneath each when necessary.

While I was back in SG during my annual Summer break, I went out with E whom I had not seen in flesh and blood for more than 700 days. Wanted to check out Henderson Bridge after seeing the crazy pictures of it but had a rather unusual experience. Didn't went trigger frenzy but rather opted for a more subtle chilling session. This one shot of E's beautiful eyes did yielded some magic.

You see upon closer inspection of the file taken by the monster 5Dmk2, reflections of life was artistically painted on E's soul window. A silhouette of a stranger, trees and the horizon seperating the skies. I personally really like this picture because E's eyes were fantastic to begin with.

These insane pictures was the obvious brain child of me and so I shall take all shameless credit from there! Well, the inspiration came when some of my friends were playing with it in a bar making the usual palm shapes. The uber famous Han Solo in carbonite scene came zapping into my head like a laser and viola. Let's start with the last one as representing Yours Truly, me. The second last one morphing into a devil and the third last one from The Frighteners.

M was the sister of a Japanese friend, E, and though she was only 18 going 19, she had the traits of a potential model. So I decided to zap her once for lens food and boy was I delighted that I did.

And the one(s) below was a recent "Mini Photoshoot" that I did using the umbrella, colored gels and wireless triggers. The tunnel that I had travelled thru numerous time was always the place that I wanted to do a shoot and this was a fairly nice chance. Outside it was raining non stop and the weather was rather chilly but everything went on smoothly and boy was it fun. The model was A, a fellow photographer but she does wedding using a Canon setup as well. She was extremely fun to work with and wasn't critical of my amateurish 5Dmk2 toys.

One of my kids in her "Concentration" moments!

Another one of my younger kids (she is only 12 in 2009) with a HUGE potential to be a future model.

Ha, this is one really really adorable son of the current principal of Tenrikyo Singapore. Caught him eyeing the colorful mind fuel while I was back in SG.

Fleeting Scenes

2009-10-14T09:47:00.002+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

In our daily lives, we are always rushing to slave for the society and because of that, we shackled ourselves into the very norm we carved. In big cities, it's usually about the huge multi-national conglomerates, the oil cartels, the flashy cars and the fanciful restaurants. Sadly, most of us do not see beyond that.

Of course there are other valid arguments about rural places but that's a different story altogether. I guessed I was lucky to grow up in a vibrant city and then moved on to a totally different place for an entirely new experience. With too much time on my hands, I picked up my DSLR and present some of these wonderful fleeting scenery that you might had missed out in your daily busy schedule. Take a moment to enjoy and then ask yourself what have you been missing out all these while.

This was taken one night around 10pm on my way home when the circular moon cast a huge feint white halo around it. According to Wiki, Moon/Sun Halo(s) happen(s) when light is reflected and refracted by ice crystals aka Diamond Dust. It usually happens when the temperature is very cold which was the case when I was travelling home that night. Not possible to see it in SG I presumed.

This was another one of those pictures I took late into the night during fullmoon. The sky was initially partially cloudy with the fullmoon in all her glory. Then the clouds moved in and the diffused rays were simply irresistible for me. Tripod and long exposures for this one. Certainly looks like some Godly Celestial decending to Earth kinda of feel which had be tagged all future photos like this as "God's Descent".

While driving back home after getting my dinner, the gentle dusk took me by surprised with reverse diffused rays. It was like 1 minute from my house so I whisked out my DSLR and caught the dying of the light behind the artistic silhouette of trees.

Fall is usually not a season I get cosy with since the irritating bugs would invade my house in full force with hopes of survivng the harsh winter. This was taken near my house on the infamous forest path that leads to and from my house to get to anywhere. The colors were very rich and I faded them further in post processing to give a very warm rustic feel to it.

Both pictures above seems pretty ordinary you might ask but since I dig uniform lines that lead to infinity on the horizon, I thought these lines were pretty sweet in segmenting the picture up into sub frames. Taken while en route home from Narita in July 2009.

While on board the plane, I saw more chances before the plane took off. The rays of the Sun was strong but fading away and the clouds sure provided a good diffusion. I waited as the plane slowing accelerated on the runway and my chance came. God's Descent appeared!

These 3 pictures were taken very very recently, in fact, only last week. I had another 5 day (now officially 7) long weekend dubbed "Bronze Week" since there were 2 other 5 day long holidays this year which had passed. I packed up my photography gear and went out hunting for decent scenic spots. "Found" 2 really spectacular mini lakes near my city and figured it would be a good chance to catch reflections. Yes I do admit I loved the way a proper scene would be reflected by another medium. Since the trees were not in full Autumn glory, bring out the deep blue skies while shadowing the trees would be a good frame. Had to do multiple shots since I was not really adept in ridding lens flares.

This one and the one below was also taken on the same day as the 3 lake shots above. The assortment of colors in the scene above was pretty impressive. From light pinkish clouds, baby blue skies, golden yellow rice fields and fading green grasses. Not much post processing here since I really liked the original colors. Saturation was boosted, blacks darkened, exposure adjusted and a P.L.D filter was used. Tried the same settings on a B/W film and will update once I develop it.

Just before wrapping up the day and this post, I saw the approaching train and framed it. Not in anyway that I am a train fanatic like those geeky ones in Tokyo but here it is anyway.

When Happy and Sad crashes

2009-10-07T08:54:00.003+09:00

- Never Stop Dreaming -

It seems that the rainy weather is here to stay with weather reports raging about some typhoon closing in. Do I care you might ask, well I DON'T since I live very far from the coast and all I get is rain of course is a damn good thing. The temepratures coming to a close resembling the Cold November Rain. I liked it and everyday I am more than happy to wake up to such splendid weather that many of you might scream foul.

Good and bad in a way since such weather would be a clear hinderance to outdoor photography. Speaking of photography...many years ago, when Digital Photography became affordable, I jumped onto the bandwagon like many others and had came some good way. But now it seems to be more than a mere passion when I seek deeper and yearn for more. Instead I moved back into the past...into the era of 35mm film format which might be a dying breed in Singapore. Here in Japan, there is still a very huge market...so might as well take the chance to discover it.

Under the kind and patient tutorage of Master B, I did observed his gear and everything else he did. So when the recent opportunity arose, I snapped up one near Mint condition Canon EOS 3 film SLR. Barely a scratch on the exterior and 2 tiny speck of dirt in the viewfinder just off the center left bottom. Not much of a concern since peeking thru Master B's gear. With so many people moving into Digital, the market is pretty concentrated and to understand the basic aspects of photography might be lost with time. I couldn't deny that when I picked up my first DSLR, the reason was to avoid the intricate, messy and tedious process of understanding, mastering and knowing the entire process of film to negatives to prints. I would shrudder at the thought of the proccess and the cost to get involved.

And so that explains the avoidance of film for the ease of digital. Along the way, I might have inevitably improved my PS skills and not my photographic skills. Either way, now that God had served me this fabulous chance, I took the plunge and picked up film altogether. It's gonna be a tedious and expensive proccess but these days, I would really love to preserve this dying art for myself. Been spending lots of time reading and digesting film but I am sure it will be all worth it.

The EOS 3 is a rather inspiring camera since most high end DSLRs are modeled after it. Feels rather sturdy in my hands and would probably withstand more knocks than my 5Dmk2. Of course the 400D is with my brother now so I will exclude that in my comparisions. Camera wise, there are less complicated buttons and more clean solid lines. No histograms, highlight priority or any of those fanciful bells and whistles, just a simple 45 focus point, old skool film SLR similiar to Master B's. The shutter sound sounded rather orgasmic as compared to the 5Dmk2. Initially I was happy with the sound of shutter flapping with my first 400D, then I envied the sound of higher end DLSRs. When I got my 5Dmk2, I was blown away at that time but now after fishing out ￥29,800 for a second hand, almost prestine condition EOS 3 with ONLY a camera body and camera cap wrapped in bubble wrap, the shere sound of the shutter curtains moving each time I delicately depressed the "FIRE" button, there was no simply no more comparisions. This would be the distinctive sound of a camera that I would love for a long long time.

No where near the price of the 5D, with functions simpler than the 1000D, this is a camera that is meant to be enjoyed and appreciated. Because every shot counts since I can load a max of 36 frames. I will use this primarily for ONLY monochrome shots because the process to view the pictures will be a long one. After shooting, I will have to do my own in house proccessing since I want to learn and understand this indept sacred lost art of developing my own film into negatives. The developers, the fixers, the time, the temperature, etc...every thing counts. The last step would be the scanning of the negatives into the computer which will be a hassle.

Getting the camera was only the beginning since a lot of hidden or I would put it, factored in cost associated with film will slowly bare it's fangs at me. No hurry...I am enjoying it as we go along but at least I had taken yet another first and fatal plunge into the unknown. Will love to play with my new toy a bit more but right now I had other more important things at hand to complete.

My VISA renewal didn't went as smoothly as planned...the tax which my company told me to exempt now comes back to haunt me since I need it to get my new VISA. Been told to do this, to do that, to go here, to go there and none seems to work. I felt like a soccer ball being passed around but 22 people and trust me THAT IS SHITTY! Of course I would like to walk up and scream foul language or even punch these ****wits in their faces but "Why bother?", I thought.

Taking it easy this week since I only work 3 outta 5 work days...the rest in case you are wondering are paid holidays. Besides, thanks to this VISA thing, I could wiggle my way outta of my work with relatively no effort.

Oh in case I forget, the wedding was great and I met more interesting SINGLE Japanese people.

I shall leave you with my wish list for now...

1. Canon EOS 3 (Acquired)
2. Sigma HSM DG EX 50mm f1.4
3. Developing materials (tanks, chemicals, etc)
4. Film scanner

Go easy on this one...